CARL.

who needs invisible friends when you have talking carl?
the pork loin grabs my phone.
gets through all of the screens.
opens talking carl.
then talks to him about everything he is doing.
talking carl loyally repeats every word.
word for word.
when i'm in the back of the house it sounds like he has a friend over.
like mason, or wilder, or maddie.
carl, your friendly childhood neighbor.
at your service.
for only 99 cents.
*phone not included.

madder than a wet hen.

my babies both have fevers.
the pork loin watched robin hood 3 times today.
the best thing about sick babies is guilt free tv watching.
another movie?
why yes, i'd love to put one on for you.
your 7th popsicle?
sure!
max didn't spike until dinner.
one minute she was chuckling,
the next minute she was madder than a wet hen.
fortunately, we've had no upchucking.
fevers i can handle.
upchucking is not in my job description.
everyone's on bubblegum motrin,
with a side of sleep.
max was so hot that she lost her clothes privileges.
maybe my computer has a fever.
where can i insert the motrin?
...
the scout master was beside himself tonight
when it was discovered that i'd never seen the movie airplane.
am i alone in this?
also, max has a full 1/2 inch of hair.
i may have to throw a celebratory party.
or just pull out the gel.
too soon for the blow dryer?

healthier than rootbeer

for some reason,

the cherry seemed healthier than the rootbeer.

kind of like fresca vs. diet coke.

or something...

even scalp massages

by 11:30am brennan had fallen in the pool,
pooped on the carpet,
and fallen down the concrete stairs into our apartment.
i went into the pool after him,
fully dressed.
fllip flops and all.

bree and her babies turned us around with cheese pizza and sonic drinks.

thank goodness,

b/c i had given the day an F before noon.
...

family night.

it's all about the kindling, the scout master tells me.

have you ever put a

reese's peanut butter cup in your smore?

you should.

then i was reminded that there was still poo on my carpet.

i was reminded b/c i found poo on max's head.

different from the poo on my carpet.

we still don't know how the poo got on her head.

my vote was dog poo on a blade of grass.

so we spent the late hours shampooing it out.

of the carpet.

max's head was scrubbed.

lotioned.

and combed.

bless her.

and for some reason,

it still feels like we had a great day.

...

from the kirby vacuum shampoo-er manual,

i give you, the funniest manual you've ever read...

"The massage cup provides an invigorating skin or scalp massage. It can also be used to clean the floors of cars."

that was one complete paragraph folks.

kirby.

it does it all.

even scalp massages.

or cleaning the floors of your car.

i tried neither.*

*see picture from earlier today of my backseat.

supreme goddess

after two hours of trying to load my favorite picture of the
supreme goddess for her birthday
this morning, i decided to go with one from her visit after max was born.
i will now be throwing out all of our computers.
bc NONE of them work now.
i am buying a new one.
giving up food, water, and a house to do so.
ok, i'm being dramatic.
why did all of the computers break at the same time???
...
HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY WISHES TO GRAMS!!!
at the right bold age of 40, she's looking ravishing!
we hope you have a big piece of yellow cake with choc frosting.
make sure to lick the frosting off of the candles too.
loves from utah.

the state of my backseat.

at some point in the last i don't know when,
the state of the backseat of my car became this.
not that i can really blame the kids.
b.c i'm remembering that in high school my backseat had a similar appearance.
except, instead of dinosaurs and cars,
it was pom poms, glitter, math homework, and megaphones.
do you think i can get the scout master to clean it out for me???
i may have an idea...
more later.
...
ground breaking news!
my tv has not been on since saturday night.
i don't know how,
but it's true.
no one has noticed.
it was not on purpose.
someone give us an award!
...
warm days and cool nights.
we're finally to the part of summer i love.
the part where it's almost fall.
my pumpkin spice candle is already burning.
and it smells fantastic.

luck be a lady

going out makes me love coming home.
i'm so lucky i get to be their mom.