there were sound effects

there were sound effects to go with it.

and i quote,

"pump. pump. pump. pump."

-chase ray

papa is here.

PAPA

is

here:)

hashtag newborn life

i literally have no desire to do anything but this.

for the last 13 days.

maybe for the next 13 days.

or until school starts in the fall.

maybe this is what i'll do after school starts in the fall too.

while the kids are all at school.

i don't know.

we will just have to see.

also, i shower every day.

and feed my children.

but right now,

this is what i'm doing.

and i'm sending my family and friends about 100 pictures a day 

of this same shot, with dean propped up in this same way.

and if i'm not holding him like this,

max is.

or brennan is.

or chase is.

or grandma is.

or grandpa is.

or uncle landon is.

or andrea is.

so if you're knocking on my door,

just know why i'm not answering.

it's because i'm just doing this.

all day,

and all night.

sometimes i put in a load of laundry,

and unload the dishwasher,

but i usually never finish either thing all in the same day.

definitely not both in the same day.

one day i washed all of the bottles before i went to bed.

it had been awhile.

they're all still drying on the bottle rack.

don't know for how many days it's been.

i made the bed at 11pm, just so i could get into a made bed.

it was fabulous.

i eat ice cream before bed,

and cereal and granola bars in the middle of the night.

sean picks up sonic ice for my giant water mug,

it tastes the very best at 3am.

i promise there's a difference.

and i always always have spit up or pee on my shirt by the end of the day.

and i'm not even mad about it.

i'm in absolute heaven:)

which means i'm probably not sleep deprived enough yet.

or i just know i won't ever get him like this ever again.

whichever.

maybe it's just taken me 4 kids to really know how to enjoy them this way.

all of him this way.

and let everything else not matter.

let everything else just be slow.

because i do not care if we ever get back to life ever again.

and i do not care if chase wants a fruit snack at 7am,

and i do not care if max wants to stay in her jammies all day,

and i do not care if we watch a movie during dinner when sean works late.

and i do not care if brennan is up until 10.

ok, sometimes i do care about that.

also, i do care about clean underwear.

so i am keeping us all current.

not to fret.

although my underwear may be burning the midnight oil tonight 

if i get caught up with james DEAN over here one more time before dinner.

i just love this feeling of a newborn in our house.

the quiet that comes after he's all fed and changed.

how he looks around and stares at me.

smiles at me.

makes his noises on my shoulder when i burp him.

burrows into my neck.

with ears and cheeks like satin.

skin that dries out after a bath,

and a head that smells like johnson and johnson.

hush all you cobwebs,

dust go to sleep,

i'm rocking my baby,

and babies don't keep:)

hashtag newborn life.

to be continued...