how it's gonna be.

this my friends is the look of horror that crossed my face in the shower this morning.
or afternoon.
whenever it was that i finally hauled myself into the cleaning process.
why you ask?
i found my first varicose vein.
on the back of my leg.
to be exact.
order of thoughts that went through my mind:
1. what is that?
2. gasp (this was done out loud)
3. i think it is a varicose vein.
4. thank goodness i don't wear short shorts.
5. does it hurt when i push it?
6. no, it doesn't. thank goodness.
7. wait, will it hurt soon?
8. when will it hurt?
9. dang it. here we go...
10. does this mean i'm going to have "other things" happen this time that didn't happen last time? (vague to spare TMI)
now i'm wishing i wouldn't have showered today.
i could have had one more day of happily believing i had yet again dodged this maternity bullet.
no sir, i have not.
ok Body, so this is how it's gonna be?!
ok.
just know that i expect you to do away with it, and any others that may appear, in the next 8 weeks after the little loinette has arrived.
heavens, i was bigger with brennan!
why didn't i get them with him?
why am i getting them now?
will there be more?
Body, it's a good thing you make good looking chubby babies.
it makes it ALL worth it:-).
did walking do this?
too much standing?
too much carrying of the pork loin?
oh dear.
am i making a little loinette to match or marvel the birth weight of the pork loin?
these things are not for the thinking of my mind.
they will be swiftly shoo-ed away.
and replaced with thoughts of my christmas menu.
it's friday.
menu planning, budget organizing, and weekly shopping day.
food sampling day at harmon's and costco.
not varicose vein day.

tanked his fears & tradition stealing

i've been taking brennan to the aquarium for months.

he is always too scared to touch the sea stuff in the touching ponds.

apparently dad was the magic trick.
so proud of the pork loin for facing his sea life fears;-)

such a champ!

after he did it twice there was no stopping him.

he wanted to touch it all.

even mr. ray.

his favorite part of the entire trip?

looking at dad through the short people tanks.

i don't even think he realized his favorite fish was in there.

"i'm so glad when daddy comes home..."

me too little loin, me too.

...

in other news...

the scout master introduced me to his teacher at the FINAL final party yesterday.

"this is my wife and she's started doing her kegels."

say what??!!

sigh.

so embarrassing.

not only did the teacher (i believe his name was jim) give me a slap on the back and a BIG smile, but the other two classmates standing in the circle with us gave me thumbs up.

bright red went the color of my face.

what was the only logical response i could fester up in a panic?

"they're working great too! i've noticed a big difference in the past week."

oh yes, i went there.

and then i wanted to crawl under the table.

my birthday present arrived two days ago.

the scout master is putting it together for me.

bless him.

and i quote,

"oh gosh, there are 73 steps if i want to attach both cup holders."

good thing there aren't 74, right stace;-)

and bree, you still need a kitchen aid and a microwave more.

don't worry scout master, you only have to attach one of the cup holders for now, lol.

penguins are coming to our aquarium in march.

i'm super excited.

african penguins.

with big furry, bird looking eye brows.

the seahorse exhibit opened today.

it was "eh."

not so fancy as they said it was going to be.

my hair is getting cut in 53 minutes.

it's been 3 months.

i'm not as excited to go as i used to be to go get my hair done.

without the coloring and getting to sit under the warm head dryer with a book it feels less like pampering and more like an errand.

dang it.

it still needs a snip.

two sippy cups broke yesterday.

the stoppers have lost their stop.

is this from putting them on the bottom thing of the dishwasher instead of on the top in those basket things?

i've decided to spend some of my birthday money on some new ones so as not to break the budget.

i came within 70 cents of the budget this week.

and it just feels good.

what do you eat on christmas eve for dinner?

we're in need of some tradition stealing.

lucky charms

the scout master left these out on the table this morning.
we left him a note telling him there was no luck needed.
by "we" i mean "me" at 11:30pm last night i wrote a note and signed it "em, brennan, and max."
i think it's safe to say his message back was that WE are his lucky charms;-)
go daddy go!!!
the pork loin gets to the be marshmallows.
his choice.
i guess that makes me the sugar coated cereal.

the replacement.

i've been to every store within a 30 min radius of my house.
sounds unimpressive, but with a toddler in a coat that naps in the middle of the day it's a small miracle.
i've googled, i've "amazoned."
above is what i was able to gather the week before christmas.
donna, the assistant manager at target, told me i was lucky to find it.
apparently, nativity sets were a "hot item this year."
her words, not mine.
she informed me there are none at target in the entire state of utah.
she checked on her hand held device and showed me.
at least i didn't go to two targets before i found that piece of ditty out.
this one was not from target.
it's hand painted.
ceramic.
and looks absolutely NOTHING like the one brennan
crashed to smithereens.
there's was white.
it was 20 pieces.
with large camels.
there are no camels in this one.
and baby jesus looks a little questionable.
sigh.
this is not what i wanted.
i hope to deliver it tomorrow.
i've been working on "sorry" with the pork loin.
hopefully it will give the entire episode a little extra touch to win them over.
i used some of my birthday money to buy it.
i'm thinking i should have pulled the funds from brennan's college account.
that's what i really wanted to do.
there was no money left in the budget this week, and the funds had to come from somewhere.
then i thought it was more my fault than his, seeing as i am "the adult" now.
whatever that means.
...
the scout master takes his FINAL final tomorrow.
i was signed up to bring cookies to the FINAL final party.
"THE" cookies.
so i'm baking tonight.
it's a tasty job.
that requires lot of hand washing with the amount of tasting i do.
what can i say, i love the dough.
i don't eat the cookies.
just the dough.
with a large glass of milk that i refill at least once.
i've heard it does a body good.
...
my visiting teacher made the news today.
she delivered her baby at home around 1:30am this morning.
she did not plan on a home birth.
her water broke, she hurried to get dressed, and then she realized the baby was coming right then.
9lbs. 3 oz.
one more oz. and she would have had a brennan!
what a champ!
the really crazy part?
this makes 3 for 3 of her children born on dec. 15th.
click here for a 1 min. video clip of the story.
...
why do "they" clap at the stock exchange when all of the stocks are down???
someone, please explain.
the end.

caked.

the hand rest back in full force.
i must say, it's quite convenient and comfortable.
the acid reflux begins around lunch time.
much earlier than with brennan, when it came after dinner.
somehow i've managed to lose 2 lbs this week.
hate me.
i would if a pregnant woman said that to me in december.
but don't worry too much, i'm sure my scale is just broken.
or it's b/c i had 1/2 diet pepsi and 1/2 cherry pepsi on friday night, instead of my normal full force of dr. pepper.
i'm sure it's just a fluke.
but hot dog, it makes a pregnant woman feel like jumping up and down!
unless i have a full bladder.
or anything in my bladder for that matter.
then i don't want to jump up and down.
i'm on day 3 of doing 30 kegels a day.
i'm desperate for some jumping up and down.
or just coughing in general.
oh how i remember hearing the other teachers talking about this in the teacher's lounge, swearing it was never going to happen to me...
the physical therapist/scout master is proud of my kegel goal.
all of that education in strengthening the body may actually rub off on me.
or i may just end up having all of the surgeries Dr. N offers after all of the babies have come.
time will tell.
at least i'm considering the physical therapist way for once.
walking less, enjoying the ending weeks much more.
with brennan i counted down by the day.
with "max" (the nickname we're teaching brennan to call her) i'm aware of the weeks, but patient with the progress.
brennan taught me to love myself.
"max" is teaching me to enjoy pregnancy.
a little.
no lying here, pregnancy has it's ups and downs, but i'm grateful that God has given my body this amazing gift.
b/c that's what it is.
a gift.
one that i remind myself it is when i'm whining about how painful it's becoming to walk and turn over in the night.
one that i wanted so badly it hurt.
today's fears:
1. that i may have worried over all of my worries for absolutely no reason at all.
BUT, i'm still glad i'm going through the emotions of it all.
it's a growing process.
i write them down,
get them out,
and leave them behind.
2. the epidural
this one kept me up sat. night.
3 shots of adrenaline after my epi with brennan.
more fluids next time, says Dr. N.
ok.
can't do it without it, so enough talk of that.
3. that my water might actually break this time, and i don't know where that plastic mattress cover i bought when i was pregnant with brennan went...
...
in other news...
i finished da vinci code yesterday.
less than impressed.
it was good, but i could take it or leave it.
just give me angels and demons again.
i'll take that.
hunger games, you're next (compliments of ann marie).
the scout master won a set of boxing gloves from everlast.
it was from their friday giveaway on facebook.
i'm jealous.
not of the gloves.
just of the winning.
how many times have i entered TAMN's giveaways and never won a thing?!
every month people, every month.
brennan's favorite word, since yesterday, is "bye."
he says it crystal clear.
like "cookie."
"go, bye, go" he says.
every time he walks away from one of us, down the hall, or away from a toy he says, "bye."
i love that kid.
braxton hicks are in full force.
last time they scared me.
this time they make me happy.
no pain, just progess.
glad i don't have the painful ones.
at least not until Dr. N breaks my water.
hopefully at 39 weeks this time, not 41.
solely for the benefit of my pelvic floor.
from what Dr. N says, a few more 9 pounders and i'm caked.
so-TA-speaking.

leftover popcorn

i didn't have the heart to throw friday night's leftover popcorn out.
so glad i didn't.

1. melt any chocolate you like (i love white and semi-sweet or milk)
2. add oil to melted choc to make it runny for drizzling
3. lay popcorn out over wax paper in one layer, drizzle choc over top with a spoon
4. yum, my afternoon snack