spilled cup and a great laugh

projects.
i'm finding that when you're cooped up inside with a toddler, they need projects.
it's work to get the stuff out.
it's work to help them do it.
it's work to clean the stuff up.
but it's better than the whining of a bored toddler.
and it's better than having destruct-o toddler roar it's head.
not sure if i can do painting more than once a week.
hopefully santa will bring play-do.
and that the stork or Dr. N will bring the little lady before valentine's day.
it's officially painful to turn over at night.
and not in the same way it was with brennan.
so at the risk of sharing too much, we'll just leave it at that.
brennan spilled the water cup on his.

i still think it's quite charming:-)

...

"more videos" for the scout master.

i really wish i could find a way to make money off of my kid's laugh.

and sense of humor.

away WENT the mangerS.

what do you do when your kid breaks all of the mangers at the ward christmas party?

white porcelain and a wooden one from germany to be exact.

and i was standing 2 feet from him.

actually watching him.

imagine the slow motion "nooooooooooooooooooo" in the movies.

i curse you paper table cloths.

i curse you that your sound was intriguing to my pork loin's ears and eyes.

the 21 mo. old ears and eyes that had no idea the mangers on top of the paper table cloths would also be dragged off with the paper in his ripping pleasure.

first, i did what any responsible adult would do.

i looked around to see what other kid could have done it.

place the blame on someone else.

no other kids in sight.

dang it.

then i just stood there with my hands up to my face, staring at the fragments of ceramic wise men and camels on the ground, and my back turned to a gym full of 200 people that had instantly become silent.

the scout master confessed later that the reason it took him so long to come over to share the shame was b/c

A. he was hoping it wasn't really his kid that did it

(yeah, sooooo me too),

and

B. b/c he didn't want everyone to see that it was his kid that did it

(all this as i stood there by myself with a toddler staring up at me like, "mom, why did you just do that?")

don't worry, he eventually came over to share the shame.

i don't blame him.

i think i would have stayed away too.

i tried to blink myself away from the scene several times.

i stood there frozen as other ward members came to help pick up the pieces.

pretty sure my face was a brighter red than santa's suit.

would have made a ute fan proud.

after about 5 minutes i mustered the courage to make my way into the kitchen where the said owner of the porcelain manger was cleaning up.

at which point i completely held it together for about 20 seconds, and then totally broke down crying from utter embarrassment.

lovely woman to forgive me.

anyone know where i can find a good ceramic manger scene?

maybe quilted bear...

the wooden one was from germany.

bro. duggar lovingly said it wasn't a big deal.

i literally feel nauseated right now.

so that's it,

we're moving.

i can't show my face in the neighborhood ever again.

after we replace the mangers, of course.

...

winner of the

most supportive quote

of our incident goes to bree's husband:

"no biggie, they were only handcrafted figures handed down for four generations. they made it all the way in covered wagons to utah in 1850."

-matt strong, sent by text message

really, it did make us laugh and took some of the edge off, which is why it is the winner.

thank goodness for friends that know how to make you laugh.

if you can't laugh, what else is left?

nothing i say, nothing.

"oh-oo"

thanksgiving.

i never told you that he ate mostly marshmallows on thanksgiving.

and ham.

with my mom's honey glaze.

which is not what this post is about.

"oh-oo"
translation: yogurt.
that might not be what he says, but he says something like that standing by the fridge, and when i open it he goes straight for the yoplait.
the pork loin ate too much yogurt yesterday.
he is suffering the consequences this morning.
enough said.
he wants it morning, noon, and night.
sometimes i let him.
sometimes i don't.
yesterday i did.
now i feel badly.
at least it's snowing.
the weather has a lot of making up to do for missing my birthday.
it's doing a fairly good job.
i've woken up to fresh snow two mornings in a row.
one more morning and i'll consider last week's lack forgotten for another year.
i can't make any promises beyond that.
...
in other news...
the pork loin talks.
a lot.
but not around adults.
mainly with his friend wilder.
my child that i thought was mute is linguistically blessed around wilder.
it's funny.
Dr. N told me my weight gain is great.
bless him.
he then told me to enjoy the holiday season and gain a little extra for it.
bless him double.
the receptionist told me she liked my tummy.
i love them at Dr. N's office.
they were extra good for the soul yesterday.
the pork loin sounds snotty this morning.
our 3 week streak of health is coming to an end.
maybe this means we'll be healthy again by christmas???!!!
the scout master has 3 official days of classes left of physical therapy school.
but he doesn't graduate until may.
2 final internships are next.
we are excited.
i pushed around bob strollers with bree at usa baby on saturday.
it was fun.
they really know their stuff at usa baby.
the scout master and i went to our first open house.
it made me want to buy a house.
it also made me feel like an adult.
and weird, like i was invading someone's privacy by opening their closets.
so i would open a cabinet really fast and then close it really fast.
and it was just uncomfortable for me.
then it made me want to rent for the rest of my life.
the pork loin is getting his iron checked this morning.
he was a little low last time.
adieu.

sharing with compliance

this is what was going on behind me. i was feeling so awesome.
best mom ever.
brennan and wilder were playing so great with the dino's.
no one was hitting.
everyone was sharing with compliance.
and then they learned how to open the tv armoire.
and they found the cars dvd.
and now i'm just the same mom today as i was yesterday.
the one that gives in and let's them watch a show b/c darn it, it's 16* outside, and a movie just sounds good.
today's fears:
1. my house will be messy after baby #2. it's not the mess i'm actually worried about. i can do messy. it's the worry that i will be so tired that it will bother me then, when it wouldn't bother me now.
2. that my toddler, who has recently become extremely destructive when he's bored, will tear my house apart. i think this is more of a control issue than anything else. i will be nursing a baby, unable to move, and my toddler will be getting into "mommy's drawers" in the kitchen, and i won't be able to do a dang thing about.
3. that i will be nursing a baby in the morning, just wanting to sleep, but my toddler will be demanding my attention right at that moment. how do i feed both babies?
4. that i will want to go somewhere, but that by the time we are all fed, dressed, and put together it will be time to feed someone again.
5. that nursing might be just as hard the second time around.
6. that i will want to put the baby back inside of me after a week and go back to just the 1.
7. that i will become a hermit.
8. that brennan will hurt the new baby.
9. that i will neglect someone. brennan, new baby, sean, me, friend. you name it, someone's getting left out at some point.
10. that all of the things i swear i will never do when i have 2 kids, i will end up doing.
11. that brennan will be completely bored out of his mind, and i will have no energy to do anything about it.
12. that everything is going to change. (i realize this is inevitable.)
13. that i have to get on the scale today at the doctor, and that it bothers me, when it never did when i was pregnant with brennan.
ok, i feel better now that that's all out:-)
...
the scout master has requested "more videos" on the blog.
i give you,
the egg game.
30 second peek of what we did for over half an hour.

chuck norris. the end.

chuck norris, in his youth.

3 1/2 years.
i was making a boxed brownie mix tonight.
chuck norris, our beta fish, sits next to my kitchen aid mixer in the winter months.
the window sill just seems too cold for him unless it's summer.
i moved him to the counter a littler earlier this year, mainly b/c brennan's little fingers were getting into the water more frequently.
i feared the crashing sound and trauma of fish bowl all over my kitchen floor.
so tonight, while making brownies, i looked down as i added semi-sweet and white choc chips to my brownie mix.
chuck looked a tad white on his tummy.
wait, why can i see his tummy?
i've never seen his tummy before.
"sean, i think chuck is dead."
"what?! stop it."
"no really, i think chuck might be dead."
"he always looks dead. he's probably just sleeping."
i jiggle the bowl and turn it a few times.
nothing.
"i really think he's dead. yup, he's dead."
"what?!"
"this is sad. are we going to bury him?"
"it's the frozen tundra outside, and i don't even think we have a shovel."
"does that mean we have to flush him? i don't want to flush him."
"he's been with us forever. how long have we had him?"
"3 1/2 years, almost to date. i fed him this morning. i don't know if he was dead or alive, but he was definitely alive yesterday. this is sad."
and now he is sitting in his bowl in the center of our kitchen island.
and i'm thinking,
how long do you mourn a fish?
why do you mourn pets?
do they go to heaven?
did i really just imagine chuck joining our family in heaven?
that's a little far fetched.
if it was a dog, would that be less far fetched?
maybe i'll go out tomorrow and buy a new beta to put in the empty bowl.
how long do you mourn a fish?
it seems really silly to mourn a fish.
but totally unloving to not.
is this the pregnancy hormones?
i think i would be sad even without them.
so, what am i going to do with chuck though?
flushing just seems wrong.
and then i wonder,
do i really want a new fish?
if i have a fish, does that mean i have a "pet" so i don't have to have any other pets?
we had "dick the fish" growing up.
he died.
sandie waited for us to notice he wasn't there anymore.
2 months went by before any of us noticed.
we didn't get another fish.
i think i'll get a new fish.
or not.
and we're back to what to do with chuck again.
do we name the next one chuck norris the 2nd?
or do we have a "dick the fish" of our own?
did we name "dick the fish" after grandpa dick?
do i really want another fish???
...
a eulogy for chuck:
you survived 2 elementary classrooms.
1 where a little girl in the back row really had it in for you.
you lived through brennan's birth.
this was a feat within itself.
we barely lived through brennan's birth.
i'm not sure if you were fed for an entire week after we brought brennan home.
your water wasn't changed until brennan was 2 weeks old, that's for sure.
you had classroom babysitters on winter breaks when i was teaching.
you came back once with 3 inches of water that had zero visibility one year.
you had the prettiest colors.
red and blue, mixed in and faded at the tail.
and the coolest name.
sean and nick named you from a Guinness world record book in my classroom.
you survived two moves from one state to another in an ice cream tub.
chuck, we'll miss you on our counter.
the end.

and for heaven's sake,

i hope you haven't lost your sense of humor;-)