target practice.

i stood in front of the baby clothes at target on saturday.

with 2 outfits in my hand.

not b/c i was going to buy them.

one for me,

one for hattie's little miss to be.

i stood there b/c i could.

i could buy them if i wanted.

there was money in the budget.

wait, let's say that again.

there's money in the budget!

and then i put them back.

it felt really good.

the best lesson the budget and frugality has taught me?

just b/c you can afford it, doesn't mean you should buy it.

although i am going back to get hattie's cutie pie something.

and i got my shoes.

it was a fun day.

friday high day.

friday.
the pork loin put the pepperoni on.
he also snuck some cheese.
and rolled himself with the rolling pin from top to bottom.
max slept on shannon.
the doc brought home his first real paycheck.
cousin johnny showed up with what he claimed were 6,000 hockey trading cards.
to be organized and divided.
i loved listening to them talk.
shushing each other b/c "the babies are sleeping!"
sat on the couch with the doc,
played laser tricks on the boys.
"hey guys, my cards light up!"
realized all children's play toys are made with the same 4 colors.

the party is over.

the doc is doing dishes.

i'm exhausted.

is it time to do it all over again yet?

if you're gonna spew, spew into this.

i fear there is nothing cute about this picture of me.
not the angle.
not the outfit.
not the hair.
not anything.
still, i must.
b/c at 6am this morning, max had just slept.
like really slept.
i had milk.
like REALLY had milk.
i was happy to feed her.
and she was a LITTLE too excited about eating.
so she gorged.
and gorged.
and gorged some more.
and i let her.
then, when i went to burp her.
a faucet of spew came forth.
like the hoover dam.
or something.
my entire left side was annihilated.
in 3 pukes.
drenched through all layers of clothing.
i wish i would have had wayne's mini spew cup.
although, it would have worked about as well for max as it would have worked for their friend in the backseat of wayne's teeny tiny car.
still, it made me laugh.
that picture is just plain embarrassing.
someone, please censor me.
...
max has mastered her oatmeal.

and i figured out a tighter swaddle.
so we're back to the swaddle band-aid.
and peace is restored.
until she gets strong enough to break free again...

maybe we already are.

these are the days that make up for all of the hard ones.

this is when brennan found the camera.

and wanted to take a picture of max and me.

i wasn't puckering.

i was saying, "push it right there."

but only made it to the "p" in "push" before he figured it out himself.

...

max is too strong for the swaddle at naps now.

we wrap her up, she goes right to sleep.

then when the sleep cycles switch, Houdini gets her arms out.

then they flail.

binky pops out.

baby awake.

not the toy.

real life.

or was that baby alive???

panda binky, work.your.magic!

let her cry it out with the panda when she woke up halfway through her mid-day nap.

an hour and 15 min of crying and 10 trips back to her bed to pat her bum, tell her i love her, and to go "night, night," and it was time to eat again.

that went well.

guess we'll try again tomorrow.

as opposed to brennan, i actually can't hear her crying in the front room.

but for some reason,

it hurts more.

weird.

she'll learn.

and we'll all live happily ever after.

or maybe we already are.

POP goes the...

TIRE.
too much air.
tube was off its track.
went to staats for a fresh one.
happy the old one was shot.
been pumping it up everyday for two weeks from a slow leak.
they said "thorn resistant"
i said "YES PLEASE."
a walking we will go,
a walking we will go,
high ho a dairy oh,
a walking we will go.
that's dr. scout master in the background putting it in for me at 10:45pm last night.
thorn resistant means stiffer tube.
and
harder to get in.
but lots of love is the man who stays up late to fix it for his eyelash fluttering wife.

Pilomatricoma.

i spent the better part of my afternoon at the pediatric dermatologist.
waited forever.
enjoyed the elevator music.
we were early, they were running late.
in the patient room we waited some more.
then magna cum laude hot shot walked through the door.
he did NOT shake my hand.
he did NOT introduce himself.
he did NOT ask my name.
he did NOT ask max's name.
she was referred to as "the 4 mo. old."
and his hair was too spikey.
i did NOT like him.
not b/c of the hair.
i started looking for things that irritated me extra after awhile.
max smiled a lot at him.
i tried to give her the **nod wink** to begin some puking and pooping on him, but she continued smiling.
bless her.
so magna cum laude hot shot asks me,
how the bumps began on "the 4 mo. old's arm."
"well, it started as..."
and then he cut me off.
"it's a pilomatricoma, blah, blah, blah...common in children...blah, blah, blah, surgery to remove, blah, blah, blah..." he says.
did i mention i did NOT like him?
can't dr. N do peds too????
what's that?
a benign tumor.
referring to primary children's dermatology,
and
referring me to primary children's plastic surgery.
b/c HE KNOWS i'm THAT KIND OF MOM
who wouldn't be able to handle him doing it in the office.
what does he mean HE KNOWS?
HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME.
did i mention i did NOT like him???
he google's it.
yup, looked like it.
can i leave now?
put max in her carseat.
asked for the numbers.
he ends the visit by saying,
"now when you go home and spend hours upon hours googling pilomatricoma b/c YOU'RE THAT KIND OF A MOM, i can tell, call me when you have questions."
uh-huh.
again, HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME.
and he said it in a jerky way.
and third of all, this is my SECOND CHILD.
i don't have HOURS UPON HOURS to google anything.
i only have AN HOUR to google it for all of my friends, relatives, and distant cousins.
so there!!!
idiot.
consult with primary children's plastics in two months
then it's under the knife.
with the fancy mucho bucko drugs.
i don't like it.
any of it.
we'll see how the consult goes in aug.
i hope we NEVER have to go back to magna cum laude hot shot ever again.
but if we do i'm bringing someone with me.
so they can see hot shot and then totally justify me.
boo hoo.
i'm being sensitive.
but really, at least call my kid by her name and pretend like she's a real person.
and use my name too.
...
NOW FOR THE UNEMOTIONAL DETAILS:
hot shot can do it, but may not get it all and will leave a big scar.
not worried about the scar.
want them to get it all.
primary's derm can do it, but may not get it all & leave a big scar.
same thing as hot shot.
primary plastics can get it all and leave almost no scar.
i like the "get it all part" best.
the end.
...
brennan is obsessed with bugs.
he points to his wrist and tells me he has a "bug bite" every day.
he did have one.
3 weeks ago.
it went away, but he claims it's still there.
we hunt for bugs, we find bugs, we love bugs.
so, big surprise, BUG'S LIFE is our latest and greatest movie obsession.
he acts out the movie and quotes the lines along with the show.
it's really cute.

it's plain to see

"it's plain to see i want to be like him in every way...

i'm very glad that he's my dad, and i know he loves me too."

always there.

man of few words.

easy like sunday morning.

rosie cheeks.

adorable.

charming.

...

then other man i call daddy.

brown or blue,

it's an eternal tie.
the eyes are my favorite part.

happy father's day to the dads.

i love you.

wish list

( i totally staged this picture)

new shoes for me.
on the budget.
but in the middle of the list.
top of list?
rent.
for june.
shortly followed by...
rent.
for july.
then if santa REALLY loves us,
iphone 4's.
that means we both want one.
didn't know i wanted the 4 a month ago.

funny how that happens.
thought i just wanted the 3G.

the cheapest one.
not even the 3GS or whatever the video one is.
but now i have read the email for the 4.
and i think i might not survive without the 4.

did you know it has a camera phone with 5 (count them) FIVE megapixels.
then protein bars for sean.
he said he wanted some.
and since he is the one bringing home the money now, i think it's best he get some.
then diapers.
food.
cheesecake factory and/or sushi dinner night out.
haven't decided if children will attend b/c i haven't decided if babysitter is in the budget before or after my shoes.
this is where the shoes come in.
b/c my feet hurt.
and i love walking.

and i go walking a lot.

have you ever had a wish list of things you really wanted for a long time?

like 3 years?

thirsty camel.

it's the thirsty camel syndrome.

and really, we need almost none of it.

but want all of it.

now for the balance of it.

thank goodness for our budget.
the end.

now...black or white?

some explaining to do

and so the oatmeal begins.

i was trying to hold off, but the girl was ready.

i forgot how long it takes to feed them.

no, i remembered.

which is why i've been trying to hold off.

i really did forget how funny they are the first time they eat it.

how fun it is to feed them for the first time.

so new.

so exciting.

va-va-voom!

i followed the directions on the box the first time i made brennan's.

it was milk soup.

wouldn't even stay on the spoon.

we set up the video camera on the tri-pod for him.

we still got both cameras out for max.

she ate 3 or 4 spoonfuls, with most of it ending up on the bib.

actually, i forgot to put a bib on at first.

no onesie's were harmed in the making of this picture.

but her freshly bathed neck was caked.

good thing you can just wipe off skin and it's clean again.

whew.

it was close.

...

i have two bug bites on my right thumb knuckle.

it has me wondering if a spider was in my bed last night.

either that or dr. scout master has some explaining to do...

like mommy do.

i guess this is how mommy does it.

i had a dream last night that someone stole both of our cars and our carseats.
except sean's car was a classic mustang, not a red chevy cavalier with no air conditioning.
i'm glad i woke up and found everything in its designated place.

except for the part about the cavalier with no air conditioning.