Ribbons of glass

It's taking me time to unwind.

We spent the day laying on the beach.
For five hours.
That helped.
The water crashed onto the beach in ribbons of glass.
Breathtakingly beautiful.
I found a purple swirly shell to bring home to Brennan.
And made up a new sport.
Coconut surfing.
Who knew they were that buoyant?
Well, they are, and I held one out in front of me and body surfed in on a wave.
Fish tacos and ice cream for dinner.
Bananas are smaller and sweet.
Everyone grows them in their yard.
It is unheard of to have to buy them in the store.
Junky cars=special treatment.
I like it.
Kamaiana prices make me feel like we are flying first class everywhere we go.
There are roosters.
Lots.
They are loud.
You are supposed to take your slippers (not called flip flops) off before you go on the beach.
If you aren't alone on the beach it is "busy."
Tomorrow: shave ice.
Not shaved.
I have learned.

i feel like i'm looking at pictures in a magazine.

I wonder if it will take the entire trip to feel comfortable without my people.

Maybe that's not the goal.

I think my pop culture is lacking: ALOHA!!!

While on my flight I realized my pop culture knowledge is extremely lacking.

I did three crossword puzzles out of people magazine (none of which I was able to complete), ate pop chips (amazing), and drank my water faster than the stewardess could refill me up.
Can't wait for some guava juice.
Watched the in-flight movie AND sitcom.
With sound.
I know, amazing.
I analyzed the effectiveness of washing my hands in the lavatory.
There's no way to use that faucet without washing it too.
Or using your elbows.
And wrists.
Alternating.
Which I did.
I've never had time to think about this before, seeing as the last few times I've flown I've been awkwardly changing a baby's diaper in there or what felt like a large octopus whose arms and legs were longer and wider than the walls (unless I've shamefully just changed my child on the floor or seat in our row--I have no shame when traveling with children).
I played endless games of scrabble.
Ordered beverages for myself.
Ate.
In one sitting.
Several times.
While breathing between bites.
And I got bored and checked the time.
A lot.
And they just kept bringing more drinks and more food.
I'm not even sure if I was hungry, but you better believe I ate it.
Pineapple, strawberries, grapes.
Pop chips.
I mentioned those already.
You must try them.
Hawaiian Cookies.
Little butter toffee crunchy things.
The turkey wrap dad made me this morning.
With the spicey mustard.
I haven't been this well fed and watered in years!
I still feel like I'm forgetting something.
More like someone.
I wish I could kiss my little babies on their gushy cheeks.
Sean too.
Yum.
I wish you could smell this air.
Sweet, humid, flower.
Hits you right in the face when you step off of the plane.
Your eyes float up into the sky for a big blink,
Where your entire body releases EVERY worry you've ever had.
Oh happy day:)
I'm here!


Aloha:)

Delayed

Delayed flight left me standing in the airport bookstore.

Hoping that I would read a book jacket that would have me dying to read it.
I have two books in my bag, but nothing I'm too excited for.
I went from three books in my arms by emily griffin, to OK magazine and US weekly.
I'm sure they will be shamefully fulfilling.
Emily griffin can wait.
I fought back tears dropping my kids off today.
Brennan ran to the basement to play trains with Claire.
I was glad I gave him a kiss right out of the car.
Max looked up and gave me her classic open mouth kiss.
I hustled myself to the door after giving her one last smooch bc all of a sudden I could feel the tears coming.
I didn't want to sob!
But I was glad I felt like I needed to.
I just don't think I could have mastered the pretty cry in this situation.
Dannie and I chatted all the way to the airport.
I just can't shake this anxious feeling of feeling like I am running on my toes.
And that I'm forgetting something.
I did forget my coat.
It's laying on the floor by the back door.
My backpack is really light.
I'm not sure I really need anything in it, but for the first time in three years i get to bring something on the plane or myself,
so darn it, I'm bringing a bag!
With my two trash mags, my wallet, liquids, phone, and flip flops I can put on the minute I land tomorrow.
But first, i must deliver these...



Can't believe I'm actually going through with all of this.
I forgot to eat lunch.
These cookies may not make it.

twins: time to pinch

i have twins.

lots of them.

in almost every tomato square.

so my green thumbed cousin told me it was time to pinch.

it just feels so wrong!

so if you are growing with me,

and you have twins.

or triplets.

it's time to selectively pinch.

i don't like the idea myself,

but she assures me it is better this way.

more nutrients for the one plant you leave.

pinch them down by the dirt.

at a diagonal,

if possible.

with your fingernails.

i cannot say mine were diagonally pinched.

it was hard enough to pinch down by the dirt.

a diagonal pinch may have been only a wish.

so pinch.

pinch them down to the dirt.

and leave one plant growing.

i don't even want to talk about the fact that i only need three bushes to actually plant in my garden.

anyone want to adopt the rest i've started?!

i can't imagine just throwing them out.

i've watched them push their little stems right up through the dirt.

it's amazing.

that something so alive can come from a tiny little seed.

...

max walks like ET from behind.

and brennan is training for ultimate fighter.

i need to pack.

i think i might actually be going on this trip.

i haven't called my mom in two days.

i'm worried that if i talk about going too much i will get scared and not go.

i'm the seed.

and hawaii is the all grown up tomato plant.

i think i'm going to need a lot of watering.

t-minus 12 hours.

Toes ready

Toes ready.

a tsunami pit

(playing "spin the body" on my computer chair.)

have you ever left your kids?
i am supposed to be leaving monday.
and last night,
my heart started racing.
and i felt like i could puke.
i laid in bed for an hour.
tossing and turning.
thinking of everything that could happen.
and not the obvious.
my mother in law and sean are taking care of the kids.
not worried about that.
just the part about me being on an island in the pacific ocean.
a day away.
maybe more.
from my babies.
mainly max.
for some reason,
it's harder to leave the baby.
not b/c i won't miss brennan.
i just know he's big enough.
if that makes sense.
and she's not.
in my mind.
i started thinking about tsunamis.
i said this to sean as he was leaving this morning.
like he was literally walking out the door.
he said, "i don't think i have time to talk about tsunamis."
but not in a jerky way.
in a "i want to give you the attention your feelings deserve" way.
love him.
then he reminded me i have a greater chance of dying in the car on the way to the airport.
or in a plane crash.
i told him this wasn't making me feel any better.
then he made up some random statistics.
"you have a one in 3 billion chance of being in a tsunami."
so i said, "yeah, but that number is like a lot less with all of the earthquakes in japan. wasn't there another one yesterday?"
and he said, "you can't live your life in a cave."
and i said, "then i need to take her with me."
and he said, "(laughing) well, that's up to you. i have to go tsunami."
and now i just have this pit in my stomach.
and i know it's normal,
but i'm just not sure i can get on the plane monday.

a beth day

it was a beth day.

my favorite kind.

at some point it started thundering and lightening.

lit the house up.

then hailing.

big fat white hail.

lots.

we dropped everything and ran to the big room.

sat on the fainting couch (i love calling it that).

and watched the hail fall.

it bounced off of the grass like jumping beans.

white jumping beans.

on the thick green grass that came up this week.

i promised myself that i would be grouchy about the snow in april.

but i wasn't.

i'm still annoyingly happy about it.

my regrets to you all.

b/c it made the day feel great.

she made me these lovelies.

 oh happy day:)

MISSING!!!

missing: baby max!
found: toddler

  

i can't believe what a big girl i've got!

she did not like getting her hair done for the first time.

but after i had to put them back in 6 times before lunch,

she sat there and took it like a champ.

love her guts.

no power & snow

sometime after 2am our power went out.
until after 8 this morning.
i loved that the house was quiet.
but the cold made it hard to get out of bed.
it must have snowed all night.

i love when the snow coats the trees.

sunday morning conference.

brennan whined the entire morning.

and told me he doesn't like my scones.

or my raspberry butter.

at least max is still impressionable.

she ate hers right up.

it hasn't really stopped snowing all day.
perfect if you don't plan on going anywhere.
i love when we get to watch church all day.
in our pajamas:)
or a diaper.
he refused to get dressed.
and has been whining all day.
did i mention that already?

 but max is WALKING!!!
 like, FOR REAL!

and the snow is heavy.

wet.

really heavy and wet.

like it's making the tramp look like the center is going to sink into the ground.

not sure if that is better or worse than it flying away.

b/c yesterday it was so windy that it picked up our tramp and moved it 3 feet.

no joke.

i thought i was in kansas.

good thing sean ran out to hold it down before it blew over into our neighbor's yard.

sean and brennan shoveling the snow off of the tramp.

i guess this means we are definitely taking the tramp down during the winters.

and putting it back up in the spring.

that's one big weed to pull and plant every year.
good thing it is the greatest toy ever invented!!!

dirt: therapudic

the weeds have taken over.

the grass is getting green.

so after a day of saturday conference we got out in the dirt.

weeding overwhelms me.

there are so many.

all over.

but i love being outside with my kids.

brennan picks up dirt and throws it.

max immitates.

i scold brennan for throwing dirt.

tell him not to show max bad habbits.

he throws more dirt in the air.

it falls down on my head.

i was mad.

it was warm.

we were outside.

and pulling the weeds out was just therpudic.

living the dream.