formerly know as ghandi

last sunday was the worst day.

it wouldn't end.

and i felt like a break would never come.

i kept thinking about how big of a baby i was being because really,

what was so bad about my day other than 4 cranky kids anyway?

and then i felt even worse for being such a whiner.

because it was sunday and all, 

and i was thinking about how i should be more grateful for my blessings and spiritual stuff like that,

but all i was doing was whining about how i had 4 cranky kids,

and a baby that wouldn't nurse.

mostly the day was rough because dean went on a hunger strike.

for almost twelve hours dean wouldn't nurse!

{and don't go talking to me about broccoli and spinach and kale and stuff 

because i didn't eat any of it, so let's not even bring it up ok? ok.}

so no joke, dean wouldn't eat.

and after six hours of him not nursing i finally pumped,

and he wouldn't take the bottle.

he takes bottles.

he just wouldn't take THAT bottle on THAT day.

{he did this to me last tuesday too.}

he would not take it from me.

he would not take it from sean.

nada.

zilch.

nothing!

i was exhausted.

and it seems so silly now.

but my brain was just spent.

so sean and i were sitting in the big room trying to get dean to drink his bottle,

and i'm wondering how long ghandi was going to lay over there holding out on us over the milk,

when all of a sudden, little max walked into the room and asked if she could feed him,

and i was all sassy to her like,

"gooooo aheeaaaaad! do your worst."

'cause i KNEW he was just gonna scream and not take a bottle from her either,

and then i was gonna have screaming dean AND hurt feelings crying max.

and then probably chase would start crying bc he's a sympathy crier you know,

and if all three are crying then why not make something up for brennan to join in with too.

this is what i was thinking.

welp, do you wanna know what happened?

that baby dean {formerly known as ghandi} 

gulped down 5 and a half ounces of pumped breastmilk from that mama max.

yep,

mmm-hmmmm.

he did.

god bless siblings.

and god bless mama max.

i couldn't get that stinker to nurse until 10am the next day.

wish i knew what he was so mad about all that time:/

but you know what?

i don't know if i've ever seen max so proud in her entire life.

in being a little bit old

"you've got that

james DEAN

dayyyyy dreeeeeaaaaam

look in your eyeeeeesssssssssss"

{and also a right ear that always flaps out.}

did you know the high school girls don't even know who james dean is?
the one they're all singing about in the taylor swift song.

do you know the one?

YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!

they don't even know who james dean is!!!

i couldn't even believe it.

this fact i learned from my niece last weekend,

and it made me feel a little bit old.

just a little bit. 

and then i told her to google it,

so she would know.

and i would do my part.

in being a little bit old.

split jury

{they were singing the superman theme song. all of them. "doo doo DOOO do do do do do dooooo". you get it. and dean was being flown back and forth. i could have peed my pants it was so funny.}

...

my kids are arguing 
a lot right now.

LIKE A LOT.

like i'm feeling like i'm in a constant state of anxiety most of the time.

and it's driving me BONKERS.

this morning while i was making them all scrambled eggs before school,

max said she wanted just salt on hers,

and the boys said they wanted theirs "creamy" {this means i mix in mayo with it--they love it},

and so based on past experiences with such a split jury, 

i verified TWICE that max ONLY wanted salt on hers before i passed out everyone's plates and took on the task of making brennan and sean's lunches,

and do you want to know what that little max did?

started WHINING AT ME that she wanted creamy eggs too.

like i had never even asked her and purposely left her out or something.

i probably had steam coming out of both nostrils and my ears at the same time.

i'm sure i was silent.

bc this is what i do when i'm EXTRA irritated.

i get silent.

and then i sigh.

i learned this from my dad.

it used to scare the BEE-JEEZ-ES out of us kids,

and now, i know he did it bc it just feels so refreshing,

and also it keeps you from killing your kids.
sean says i've added a blink to the method.
a SLOOOOOW blink.

so max saying she wanted mayo in her eggs,

AFTER SHE TOLD ME TWICE 2 MINUTES BEFORE THAT SHE DIDN'T

basically pushed me over the edge,

as that it where i feel i've been standing for the last several weeks since school started anyway,

at which point i told them i was going to send them all away bc i just couldn't live this way anymore!

have you seen the movie mean girls?

where the girls tell another girl "you can't SIT with us!" and she says it in a really crazy voice that's mostly strung out and irrational, and her eyes are all buggy and crazy?

yep, that was basically me this morning,

except i was talking about scrambled eggs that needed mayo added.

SCRAMBLED EGGS THAT NEEDED MAYO ADDED.

i mean good heavens, i don't know what the big deal was.

oh right, it was that i had already asked her twice before two minutes ago.

that's right:)

so at that point i walked over in my steaming fury, added the mayo, added more salt so as not to be accused of not adding salt and have THAT on top of the mayo agitation i was already in, and then i got back to slicing cheese for brennan's lunch.

so then sean started reading harry potter aloud,

and we're at the part where harry sets the snake free at the aquarium,

and i ate a peach bc i wondered if maybe i was just grouchy bc i was hungry,

and then we wrestled clothes and toothbrushes onto everyone,

and put the A-TEAM {brennan and max} on the porch for carpool,

at which point we waved goodbye and walked into the kitchen to declare victory on another morning of getting the kids out the door alive,

and sean told me that me telling the kids i was going to send them away over scrambled eggs was probably the highlight of his entire day {and he said this all cute and laughing like which made it all the more endearing--and also it made me start laughing bc it just lightened everything up}, and then he was all "please don't send me away" 

and we both just kept standing there laughing about it, 

even though i was actually 75% serious about sending them away.

over scrambled eggs that needed mayo.

can we just be adjusted to school being back in,

and homework,

two kids doing homework!

and friends coming in and out of my house all night,

and toys everywhere at the worst time of the day which is 5:30pm-8pm????

ok great.

thanks!
i feel better now:)

getting max to dance once a week takes all i can muster.

ain't NO WAY i can add in the karate brennan keeps asking for.

not unless they have a free shuttle.

oh my gosh, 

WHAT IF KARATE HAD A FREE SHUTTLE??!!??

they would make so much more money if they offered a free shuttle.

i think that's called a taxi.

a mom taxi.

but what if karate had a shuttle...

.

.

.

.

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P.S.

i went to the store for toilet paper,

and do you wanna know what i forgot to buy?

yep.

toilet paper.

or straight hair

it was my attempt for crimpy hair on picture day.

let's just say it looked cuter this way.

we spent the five minutes before carpool came

combing water through everything but the top braid to save the day.

next time we're going with curlers.

or straight hair.

maybe we should just go with straight hair...

i'll get to them later

i'm a changed woman!

because having dishes in the sink from the night before doesn't even bother me.

mostly because i know this means i went to bed without bothering to stay up late to do them.

which means MORE SLEEP,

which means HAPPIER EMILY IN THE MORNING.

{they CANNOT be out all over the counter--some things will NEVER change;)...}

i'll get to them later.

and i really mean it.

it's actually kind of weird.

and i LOVE it.

{probably the best thing having a 4th kid ever taught me.}

that's what she said.

yep.

i was 18

i was 18

and a freshmen at chico state.
up early doing homework on my laptop.
my roommate was asleep still.
i didn't have any of the lights on because i didn't want to wake her.
and then somebody was knocking on my door really loud.
i couldn't figure out why anyone would be waking us up at 7am on a tuesday.
ashlee had to tell me twice because i didn't understand what she was saying.
we watched the second plane hit on live television as we walked into her room.
i remember listening to the terror in the announcers voice as we all realized it was no accident.
we spent the rest of the day huddled around the giant big screen box television
in the game room on the bottom floor of whitney hall watching the news.
classes didn't get cancelled until later that day.
i remember i went to nutrition 101 at 11am,
and the teacher sent us back home.

where were you?

the story of how i DID NOT MEAN to can 38 quarts of peaches

this is the story 

of the 38 quarts of peaches 

i didn't mean to can.

here it goes...

our peaches ripened on our tree.

all 5 of them.

{thank you frost.}

sean said brigham city peaches and peach stand.

and i said two boxes, 

unless you can help me with an extra box for the peach raspberry jam?

this is what i said to him when he called from the peach stand.

and he was all "yeah! of course!"

{famous last words}

we like to can together you see.

so he bought three cups of raspberries too.

i was SO excited.

long story short,

sean went to take a nap to get rid of his headache,

{usually this requires ibu profien, a coke, and an hour snooze}

so i said i'd get started doing all of the prep work while he took care of his headache.

next thing i knew,

sean was barfing,

having hot and cold flashes,

body aches,

and i had three boxes of peaches we actually PAID for 

that had already been skinned, pitted, and halved.

and 4 kids at home on a sunday.

with a breastfeeding newborn.

it was either can them by myself or throw them all away.

i just wanted to cry,

but instead i put my shoulder to the wheel,

and let my kids watch movies for the rest of the day.

it wasn't pretty.

and at one point when dean didn't want to go to bed for the night i considered waking my neighbor andrea up in the middle of the night to help.

i did not, and dean finally fell asleep in the swing.

around midnight sean woke up for a gatorade and some nyquil,

and maybe i made him a piece of toast???

i can't remember...

38 quarts later at 1:30am i never wanted to see another peach in my whole entire life.

i'm sure glad i have them now,

all happily stacked downstairs in the cold storage by the water heater,

but i don't EVER want them to happen like that EVER again.

ahhhh!!!!

...

i give you,

my peach recipe,

courtesy of my neighbor julie who taught me how;)

the pictures make me laugh! 

notes: i don't make the syrup. i boil a pot of water and put 1/8c sugar {bc i don't really see why it needs any sugar really, but julie said to so i did} 

with 1/2tbls fruit fresh in each quart {so they don't turn brown in the bottles over the winter}, 

stack it with the peaches, and THEN ladle in boiling water to the half inch head space line.

no mess. you're welcome. also, process an extra 10 minutes for utah altitude.

canning "how to" here 

if you want to learn the ins and outs.

there's only one rule to canning.

the the is: FOLLOW THE RULES. 

TO THE T.

that's the only rule;)

the end.

i did not

a few weeks ago when i was making dinner 

i looked out my kitchen window at the sink 

and saw brennan sitting on the little kid picnic table.

he must have snuck off outside while i was switching the laundry.

this is what i was thinking.

i went to go call him back inside for homework,

but when i opened the door i could hear zac.

playing guitar on his back steps and singing.

and that's when i realized that brennan was just sitting there in secret.

listening.

it was so quiet outside.

you couldn't hear anything else.

i don't know if i've ever seen brennan be so still ever.

and in the busy world he's growing up in,

i thought about how rare it is to just sit and listen.

i did not call him back to his homework;)

max was here.

i found him like this.

earring just on the left side.

also, please note the pink triangle jewel.

oh to have your very own ALIVE baby doll.