because i don't want them getting an inch and taking a mile or something responsible like that.

{she didn't even cry. i have planned for two years for her to cry.

because she has always cried on the first day of anything.

also birthday parties. she cries when we drop her off at birthday parties.

but she didn't cry on her first day of kindergarten. and it was amazing.

i remember driving home thinking i'm so happy that she's so happy

on her first day of kindergarten. and then she came home and told me she didn't want to wear the frozen necklace to school anymore. because it bit the back of her neck all day long.}

...

max isn't currently sleeping.

this is crazy to me.

she was my BEST sleeper as a baby.

{dean has slept in longer stretches than her earlier, but he is a horrible car seat sleeper, so max STILL wins.}

she would sleep anywhere.

she was like a bird.

all you had to do was cover her up,

and she was out.

it was amazing.

you could transfer her from her crib to her car seat and back to her crib,

and she wouldn't even open one lid.

we would take her to movies.

out to dinner.

to appointments.

any time of the day!

and i never had to worry about having a fussy baby with me.

i didn't even really need to feed her to keep her happy.

she would take giant naps twice a day and sleep from 7:30pm-10am as she got older.

every

single

night.

and she NEVER cried.

like NOT EVER.

i'm not kidding,

and i know you don't believe me,

because i wouldn't believe me,

except for i saw it with my very own eyes.

also, i have witnesses.

not even for her shots.

the nurse for our old pediatrician STILL comments about it 

when we see her because she couldn't believe it either.

she was a dream baby.

the ones you only hear about,

and i swear to you she was my gift from heaven for not killing brennan,

who literally screamed for 16 hours a day.

god bless baby max because we probably wouldn't have had any more kids if it hadn't been for her.

so this amazing max,

is a worrier.

when she's laying in bed at night she yells down things like

"are you guys still there?"

"did you lock the doors?"

"i saw a shadow!"

"i'm scared!"

"i need someone to lay with me!"

have you ever read llama llama red pajama?

or any of the junie b jones books?

well they are max

to

the

t.

we've taught her to look at books while she's falling asleep.

put water bottles by her bed.

set up multiple night lights

shakies

lovies

barbies

baby dolls

books.

and the dang dodgers hello kitty animal the plowman's gave her {go giants!!!}

it's like a full on flea market in her bed at night.

these are the things she requires to fall asleep.

also brennan not being in there.

well now,

she wakes up in the night.

turns on ALL of the lights.

which wakes up chase.

who wakes up us.

so we put them all back to bed,

turn off the lights,

and then some awful repeat button gets pushed 

and this process gets repeated in 1 hour to 3 hour cycles all night long.

i'm known as a night owl.

i now go to bed at 10pm every night.

sometimes 9:30.

'nuff said.

we've tried every piece of advice anyone has to offer.

rocks to take her bad dreams 

{although she doesn't complain of bad dreams 

because i swear this child isn't in a deep enough sleep to have dreams anyway--

but like i said, we're trying everything.}

telling her to say prayers when she wakes up,

telling her she doesn't need to come in and wake us up.

spending more alone time with her during the day

spending more alone time with her at bedtime.

benedryl

singing the sound of music.

you name it,

we've tried it.

and i'm thinking that maybe

it just can't be fixed.

and this morning,

while sean and i were laying in bed,

he started laughing,

and i was all talking in desperation like,

"we did everything right!

we taught them how to sleep in their own beds!

we didn't spoil her as a baby!

healthy sleep habbits!

no milk in the night!"

and he was all,

"i know, that's why it's funny."

and then i was all

"i get why people forget about doing things the right way with the fourth,

because by then you know none of it matters anyway."

and then i heard chase banging on the wall,

because by this point i had put them both in the same room

hoping THAT would help.

desperation folks.

it leads you to do CRAZY things.

like thinking two little kids will go to back to sleep at 6:15am if you put them in the same room MAYBE????

so of course that didn't end well,

and i ended up putting chase in time out at 6:42am for talking.

because i don't want them getting an inch and taking a mile or something responsible like that.

and i'm pretty sure that's when i decided that i should send chase to preschool today,

even though maybe he still had a lingering cough.

and do you wanna know what they're doing 

RIGHT NOW

upstairs in their rooms?

playing "nighttime".

where they lay in their beds and pretend to sleep.

they turn off all the lights so it's dark.

and close the blinds so it's dark.

yep.

i know.

how 'bout THAT to give a gal a good laugh.

good grief.

i love these crazy kids.