even though they were nothing fancy

today, 

all my dreams came true.

when max got mad at brennan,

for not letting her play freeze tag the way she wanted to.

or maybe he got her out in their imaginary game of baseball?

anyway, she stomped off the field,

sat down in front of me on the bleachers next to dean in his stroller,

and simply asked me,

"will you play with my hair?"

{this is the first time she's ever asked me to do this, you see--and i've basically been waiting for this moment forever and not even KNOWN i was waiting for this moment forever. 

have you ever had one of those before?}

she didn't look up at me.

her eyes were on the boys out in the field the entire time.

her voice was something like aggigated, fed up, and happy to have a reason to sit down all at once.

i will never forget that moment for my whole entire life.

after i french braided her hair twice,

and let it go twice,

she ran over to get her barbie scooter,

and we all walked home.

brennan was yelling at somebody,

chase was crying because he was thirsty,

then max started crying because brennan ran over her left pinky toe with his bike {on accident},

and sean and i were just looking at each other chuckling {we slept really well last night, you see, and when you sleep well, you can handle chaos of this nature with much more humor than if you hadn't},

and i just couldn't help but BEAM from ear to ear.

like i was floating up in the clouds around that park,

but the tennis courts and the water fountain.

these are the days.

the good old days.

right now:)

{you've never seen anybody as fast as chase ray on a trike. he rides it like his HOG. 

like a BOSS on his HOG. i love him for it.}

and somewhere in the middle of all of that,

i looked down at my feet,

and the leaves,

even though they were nothing fancy,

and it all literally took my breath away with dean looking right at me.

i wish every sunday could be this good.

letters to beth {i met stephanie & christian nielson!!!}

dear beth,

i am over the moon excited to tell you 

what you absolutely will just not believe,

because i can barely believe it myself!

i finally got to meet

THE

Stephanie AND Christian Nielson.

i am

DREAM COME TRUE 

excited!!!

pinch me because i must be dreaming:)

at the last minute sean and i heard about it,

and scooted ourselves on over 

to the south towne expo center

last night.

5 minutes from our house.

it was a stand for the family conference,

and there were loads and loads of amazing people that talked about

how our entire society is breaking down

because the family is breaking down.

it made me so proud of the little families we are raising in our homes.

all of our traditions,

and all of the hard work we are doing to raise happy and thriving someday adults.

and how important that work is today.

there is this book that sean and i want to read that a professor from oxford recommended called 

"The Children of Men" 

and i wrote it down so i could tell your mom about it,

but then i thought that since she is Liz 

she's probably already read it and written a dissertation on it,

or something really wonderful and great like that,

but i'm still going to tell her about it,

so she can say "fabulous, read it."

anyway, it's now sitting in my amazon cart waiting to be purchased.

it's all about what will happen to our society if people stop having children.

sad, uplifting, depressing, and moving.

that's what the professor said.

and we were intrigued.

i hope you will read it too so we can talk all about it next time you are here.

and then as we were sitting there listening to stephanie and christian speak,

i all of sudden realized that almost 5 years ago to the date 

i had organized the fundraiser for them 

in the EXACT room they were speaking.

i knew i just HAD to say hello.

i bawled my eyes out and confessed all of my admiration 

for her and all of the influence she has had on my life,

and i also told christian how awesome he was because he really is so great too,

and i didn't want him to feel left out and everything because he is great too,

and i'm not even embarrassed about any of it one bit!

because it was just THAT awesome to have finally met them.

and she was just so warm and loving,

and kept hugging me over and over again.

and we talked about our red headed babies born 1 day apart,

and then christian said to sean "oh man redheads" or something like that,

and they laughed about it like guys do,

and then we talked about

whole wheat pizza recipes,

and how much she hates physical therapists,
after sean told her he was one,

but then she said really she loves them,

because they helped her raise her arms up over her head again.

at which point sean declared that see, she really did love them.

and we all nodded our heads and smiled about it.

because she was all,

"but they're awesome because i can do this!"

and then she raised her arms up,

and christian raised his arms up with her,

and it was just fantastic!

because she really is a living, walking, breathing miracle.

and i felt like we were just getting together with old friends,

standing outside of that conference room at the sandy expo center.

except they don't know us at all,

but we know them.

which is why i would think that if i were them it would be weird 

to meet people who know all about you, and you know nothing about them.

but they weren't weird about it.

they were just the sweetest sweetest people.

and those 5 minutes totally made my entire year.

there is no other famous person i have ever wanted to meet more than them,

NOT even oprah.
like if i were dying and the make a wish foundation was all,
"what is your wish?"
i would be like,
"i want to meet stephanie and christian nielson."
no joke!

and i just feel so honored to have met them after all of these years.

and i came home thinking,

there really are no coincidences.

and what a tender mercy it was to be there last night.

having that fundraiser for them 5 years ago,

in that room,

on that day,

and we were all there together last night.

full circle.

that's what i thought.

and it was just amazing.

OH HAPPY DAY!

did that really happen last night???

it did.

and also,

it's supposed to snow today,

so i'm pretty much all cued up to turn on my christmas music when it does.

because when it snows in november,

i can't help but turn it on.

there is nothing more that i love than a furnace blaring with snow falling all around outside of my windows.

i just can't imagine having a happier life than we are living right now.

and i know that if we are good mothers, fathers, husbands, and wives

that we can take on anything.

absolutely anything that we come to face.

just as long as we have each other.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!!

tell me everything that's going on with you.

i miss you dearly!!!

love,

emiline

dreaming {biting t-rex}

{my mom came home from Kauai this morning with REAL Hawaiian slippers for me.}

thanks mom!

.........

last night i had a bad dream.

so did brennan.

he didn't want to talk about it,

but just said he didn't ever want to dream again.

so this morning after i nursed chase, 

brennan came in rubbing his eyes.

and i told him about how in my bad dream an airplane crashed on the mountain,

and it was really sad.

{what i didn't tell him was that i ran over to the crash, 

but i wasn't really running, 

it was more like gliding, 

right over a huge valley, 

effortlessly,

you know how dreams are,

and i saw the plane completely charred from the plane being on fire,

even a baby seat.

no bodies.

just empty burned seats.

i woke up feeling sick.

and scared that my mom's plane from Hawaii had crashed over night.

i'm paranoid like that.

but it didn't.

she is fine.

it was just a dream.}

so i told him that a plane crashed into a mountain,

and that it was scary.

and then he decided to tell me about his dream.

and he was excited about it in his voice.

very energetic like he says,

"there was a T-REX in my room

and it bit my hand,

and my penis,

and my OTHER hand!

and i never want to dream ever again."

and i couldn't help but laugh

really

really

hard.

b/c t-rex's and t-rex's biting you in important places 

are obviously his biggest fears at the age of 4.

poor little guy.

he also told me he never wants it to be a dark day again.

just sunny days,

so we can keep our eyes open all sunny days,

no dark days,

so we don't have to dream anymore.

flash flood summer rain pour

tonight after sean gave the kids their baths,

slathered them in pink baby lotion,

and combed their hair,

it started to pour.

flash flood, summer rain, pour.

we all ran down the stairs and sat on the front porch with the thunder booming and the lightening flashing.

right when i opened the front door the thick humid air smelled so good.

the grass turned bright green,

the smell of wet pavement came up from the ground, 

and the humid air wrapped us up in a blanket of warm.
reminded me of iowa.

every time the thunder boomed max would "ooo" with her mouth and growl.

brennan would get scared and then laugh.

and we just sat there,

kids on our laps. 

with everything outside quiet.

except for the rain drops on the pavement.

and the thunder from overhead.

absolutely delicious.
somebody pinch me.