the good ol' days right now.

i think she has my eyes.

these are the days we will talk about when we are old and gray.
the good ol' days.
when we were squished into an apartment that felt smaller than us.
saving every penny.
all of our dreams right at our finger tips.
the days when our children surround us for every holiday and season of the year.
my white pants that have been stained with who knows what.
fingers in my dinner plate.
floaties in my soda.
getting my toddler's cold b/c he sneaks drinks from my water mug.
listening to the books crash off of the bookshelf,
only to find a smiling face of someone hoping to be forgiven for unsteady hands.
a sound and then a smell from a baby who's smile can melt me at any hour of the day.
even 5am.
not being able to finish most things b/c someone needs something.
coercing a toddler into the house to get a crying baby from her nap with promises of popcorn, popsicles, chocolates, movies, or anything on the planet he could possibly desire.
tired eyes and body from endless service throughout the day.
and night.
the best word i've ever heard, "mommy!"
the cry of a tiny thing that must be the cutest cry there ever has been.
big eyes asking for a story.
a kiss.
a hug.
a bruised bum.
a glistening tear.
a scraped knee.
it's the best feeling.
the good ol' days.
right now.

snap is not working.

i keep doing the mary poppin's snap,
but nothing is cleaning itself up.
maybe i'm doing it wrong.
is there a you tube video for that???
i watched a baby break dancer yesterday on there.
it was neat.

we almost didn't make it.

i had a great idea.
take the kids to a baby shower.
this was not the original plan.
but, sean's grandpa was taken to the hospital, so i had the kids.
i was already dressed.
cute and all.
hair.
makeup.
gift wrapped.
i was going.
we would just skip brennan's nap.
it would be fun!
i'm so cool.
and so spontaneous!
after the shower, we had all of this extra time in our day!
naps were such a waste of the afternoon.
this was the thought in my mind pulling out of my parking spot at the baby shower.
this was the thought i would come to regret.
i couldn't help but fantasize about all of the things we were going to get accomplished.
i was feeling extra generous and decided this day was the day we'd go through the mcdonald's drive through for our first happy meal.
i am the COOLEST MOM.
this is what i was thinking.
i was remembering how much i loved them as a child.
the toy! oh the toy!
who am i kidding, i was all about the food.
the cute little box with the arches on top.
lame that they get a sack now.
i order him a milk.
i'm so awesome.
making a healthy choice for my child.
this is what i was thinking.
hand him his bag.
big smile of excitement on my face.
first child.
first happy meal.
first, first, first...blah, blah, blah.
here is where the horrid begins.
he doesn't WANT french fries.
or chicken nuggets.
or his toy.
he drinks some milk.
throws his happy meal across the car.
awesome.
he is now screaming.
we're all the way across town.
i give him a choc covered granola bar.
it melts on his hands.
he screams.
wipe him off.
b/c now we're parked in front of the bike shop.
max is awake.
i decide we're going to the bike shop.
i want my stroller fixed.
and we're here.
and dr. scout master would surely not want to do it after spending the day in the ICU with grandpa.
we forge ahead.
and so the battle continues.
45 minutes later i'm driving home with my fixed stroller.
and
with a screaming toddler who has
a. not eaten since 9am (it's now 3:45pm), and he is refusing to eat everything i am offering.
and
b. he has had no nap (which ended up being a big deal).
max is screaming b/c she is now starving.
i spend the entire 15 min. drive home holding her binky in, while driving (thinking this can't possibly be smart), and laughing to myself over the entire ordeal.
b/c it's funny.
the moment where your life is the pamper's commercial with the screaming children.
except it's not a commercial.
i vow to never intentionally miss a nap again.
this of course will be forgotten, and i will do it again.
but holy cannoli,
we almost didn't make it.
and at that point i still had to get everyone out of the car and bring them into the house.
i'm glad my stroller's fixed.
thorn resistant tires on all wheels now.
and brennan slept 13 hours last night.
for the FIRST time ever...blah, blah, blah.

MAMA MIA!

a belated birthday wish to mama C.
here from the land of aloha.
she was sick on her special day.
and so was my computer.
to we had a 2nd july 8th tonight.
happy birthday MAMA!

the pork loin helped me frost.

and then helped gran-mama blow.
twice.

for good measure;-)

the 5th of july.

dr. scout master was in full garb.
the neighborhood breakfast has been going on for something like 51 years.

at least that's what i heard someone saying in line.

we've been coming for 4.
when you get there late, like after 9am, you wait.

and wait,

and wait,

and wait in line.

some more.

toddler heard pancake and we were doomed.

thank goodness for some pretty ladies in the kitchen who gave the pork loin a spoon of whipping cream.

he had them at hello;-)

water park with gmg and gpg to wash it all down.
read the sign on the fence.

do pork loin's count?
max and i spent most of the morning under an umbrella.

i want her clothes.

pork lion refused to get in the picture with us.

"no! no! nnnnnno!"

i don't want to see a piece of red meat the rest of the week.

just vegetables.

and maybe some chicken.

maybe.

spark me.

while sitting in the grass next to my 10yr old cousin, i learned that armpit hair is the sign of a man.

grow baby grow.

the hair that is.

that's what i told him.

now's the part where we say,

"2nd star to the right and straight on 'til morning."

or something magical like that.

neverland will keep him from growing too fast.

maybe i'll send max there too.

and the pork loin.

but i'll have to go with.

b/c even the lost boys needed a mother.

happy holiday.

even with the thorns.

thorns.
my luck with them knows no limit.
or my UNLUCK i guess.
dr. scout master is going to be absolutely elated.
especially b/c it's in the thorn resistant tube tire that is extra hard to get in and out.
i wish thorn resistant meant that the tire magically beamed the thorns away from us as we walked.
like opposite magnets.
i'm leaving this thorn in.
hoping it will keep the air in.
pulling them out never seems to make things go well.
we'll see how leaving it in goes.
...
i like my shoes b/c they are pink inside and comfy in the feet bottoms.
i bought them b/c they were on sale.

found out i've been wearing shoes a half size too small.
or my feet grew.
except all of my other shoes still fit perfectly.
so i'm thinking i just bought the last pair too small.
guess that explains a lot.
but the comfy had worn out too.
today's gonna be a good day.
even with the thorns.

atm

used an atm this morning.
tried to remember how long it had been.
definitely the first time since i've been married.
so it's been at least 6 years.
i'm thinking the last time may have been when i lived in chico.
weird.
...
brennan officially started using the word "no."
asked him if he wanted to cuddle with me on the couch.
"no."
it hurt a little more than just "uh-uh."

100 yogurt covered raisins

treat.
he needed one at the grocery store today.
i needed him to have one at the grocery store today.
instead of grabbing cookies i picked what felt like a healthier option on the dried fruit aisle.
yogurt covered raisins.
i'm sure they are equally unhealthy, but i'm going to give myself extra points for picking what felt like the "healthier" option.
go me.
he ate and was pleasant for the rest of our trip.
just as we're pulling up to the checkout i'm feeling really great.
lots of good self talk in my head.
go us.
made it through the store w/o tantrums.
max asleep.
groceries w/in budget.
7 different vegetables in my cart AND fish.
i'm so awesome.
this is what i was saying to myself.
head held high.
closed mouth smile.
you know, we're picture perfect parading through the store.
i'm so awesome.
then he dumps the entire bag upside down and the tiny little balls of yogurt covered raisins go everywhere.
not awesome.
i'm an idiot.
no i'm not.
stupid candy makers!!!
deep breath.
take picture.
laugh.
don't look around.
it's always less embarrassing if i'm not worrying about what is going on around me.
then it becomes more humorous.
and if i don't have my humor, i have nothing.
console screaming toddler who has just lost all of his treat.
put all 100 hundred yogurt covered raisins back in the bag.
maybe it wasn't 100, but it felt like 100.
trying to decide if i care that they've all been on the grocery store floor.
won't kill him.
those small hairs are gross.
dirt is ok.
makes them healthier!
put them in the cart to give myself more time to decide if i'm going to let him eat them.
text bree.
smile at the checker.
she gets my son a balloon.
he lets the balloon go.
double awesome.
pay.
remember to get my groceries from drive and load.
go me.
go to costco.
toddler spills soda in cart.
good thing he missed max.
she's awake now.
looking at me with a big smile.
promise Popsicles to toddler if he stays sitting in the cart through the checkout.
tantrum thrown.
checker gives him the thing that separates my stuff from the person after me's stuff.
happy toddler.
happy mama.
go home.
collapse.
i wish.
yogurt covered raisins still sitting on my counter.
and that was just the first half of my day.

a kid, that is the goal.

i found this picture of brennan in my files tonight.
took it sometime this past fall when i was pregnant with max.
i was shocked at how well groomed he looked.
turned around to dr. scout master and shouted, "look! he looks so clean!"
combed hair.
clean face.
neat and tidy.
put together.
and now?
well, this is all we have time for.

b/c we're spending all of our time making sure max is decked out in obscenely large bows and flowers.

found her ultrasound photo as well.

see, she even wore them in the womb.

i love how 2 kids have changed me from how i was with just one.

although, just the 1 was really great too.

see, 2 really is better than 1.

bliss.

click my colorful links above, you won't regret;-)

and play some sappy music that will make you feel mushy in the heart.

i'm dripping with happy memories.

none of the tantrums, lol.

it must have been a really good day today.

at least good naps.

and only telling brennan to get down from the table twice.

in the morning.

and twice.

in the afternoon.

and twice.

after daddy got home.

note: i fight my urge for neat and tidy when he drips all over himself like that. i tell myself i can do laundry and wipe him off and try to let him bask in his dirtiness as long as i can possibly stand it.

i hope he feels like a kid. that is the goal.