stripper

notice diaper to left of child.
conclusion: diaper is not on child.
occurrence: day 2 of event happening after nap.
final conclusion: houston, we have a problem.

revolving around my shoes

from this point forward,
all outfits will revolve around these shoes.
i cannot say i won't wear them with things that don't match either.
desperate times call for desperate measures.
i made bread that worked.
like REALLY worked.
moisture.
it's all about the moisture.
tacky dough.
that's the key.
oh, and adding your oil after everything else soaks for 10-15 min.
notes to follow.
ok, i'll buy bread again, but really, i may never eat a ham sandwich on bread that's not my own creation.
wow.
eat in heavenly peace.
all of you half moon bay people will understand when i say i made my very own version of san benito.
without all of the "out of code" food though.
Herb Whole Grain Wheat Bread
(i used my kitchen aid mixer with dough hook for all mixing)

2 c hot water
1/3 c honey
1 c oatmeal (i like quick oats)
*put together, set aside for later, let stand 15 minutes

4 c whole wheat flour
1/4 c dough enhancer (next to the flour at the grocery store)
2 tbls yeast
1/4c parsley flakes
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp basil
1 tsp majoram
garlic powder, a few shakes
1 c shredded cheddar cheese (i left this out this time)
*mix all together in bowl

1. add flour/herb mixture to wet mixture once 15 min has passed from first step.
2. mix well.
3. let stand 10 minutes.
4. add 1/3 cup vegetable or canola oil.
5. mix well, adding more whole wheat flour until dough is tacky (stick your finger in dough, it should stick to your finger, but not be runny. i added flour in 1/4c increments).
6. mix 10-15 minutes.
7. cover, let rise until doubles in size (about 30 min)
8. mix down with dough hook for about 30 seconds (dough will fall to half size)
9. divide into 2 loaves, cover, let rise until double in size.
10. bake 350* for 30-40 min or until log sounds hollow when tapped.
...
yum

the samples

we went to costco yesterday for blueberries and shrimp.
i also bought some tomato sauce, not on my list.
i'm planning to make 4 pans of lasagna this weekend.
1 to eat on sunday, the other 3 to save for after little "max" arrives.
the relief society meals only last so long!
there's nothing like a frozen meal to make an afternoon more relaxing.
the sample stations were just popping out as i was trying to coax brennan's attention from the big tv's in the electronic section.
nothing in me wanted to walk to the other side of costco for him to watch the avatar previews on the big tv's.
these legs just don't have it in them.
first there was the salsa table.
no good for the 22 mo old (officially yesterday).
then the bread and butter.
big hit with all.
you should have seen the line!
you'd have thought people had never had bread with butter before.
maybe they've just been limiting themselves to margarine.
then some yogurt drink.
we had to go back twice.
first was for him.
second was for me.
but i gave him mine.
the kid loves his yogurt.
i always feel slightly guilty when i don't buy their item after indulging in their free sample.
they always take the time to tell me a feature, the price, and where to pick it up.
so friendly.
and sometimes a little pushy.
embarrassingly enough i must admit that i sometimes act like i'm going to go buy their item just b/c i don't want to be the person that just walks around getting the free food.
which i am.
i am SO that person.
why don't they ever do the pot stickers??!!
the cheese sticks were one of my favorites.
i love going to costco during snack time.
very satisfying.
then came the calcium chews.
brennan thought they were chocolates so i pulled over to grab one.
"you know, your prenatal vitamins are only giving you such and such a dose of calcium."
she did it in a voice implying that i was seriously neglecting my unborn child.
little does she know i also take an additional calcium supplement.
"cheap blow!" i wanted to say.
instead, i smiled and said, "uh huh, thank you."
and walked away.
i did NOT pretend that i wanted to buy her item.
i was happily the person who was just there for the free sample.
you know, since i'm depriving little "max" of her calcium, i'd better take all of the free samples i can get.

the climb.

"It is like climbing a mountain, and as soon as you reach the top you get knocked back down to the bottom to climb it again, but I guess the fun is in climbing and not in arriving."

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley

rockstar in the making

p-diddy ryan
(aka grandpa ryan and/or silver fox)
played the drums.
he grew up in iowa.
i'm not sure how old he was when he started playing, but we've all heard the stories growing up.
the band, the gigs, the rock and roll.
i remember finding letters in my grandparent's house that dad had written home during college about how he knew the "C" in this class or that could be better, but that
"the band had just scored this really great gig that paid money and everything."
it made me feel pretty good about my A's and B's.
and it gave me bait to remind dad about how great of a student i really was, compared to his "C's" in college.
b/c to "the parents" as my step brother, step sister, and i called them (dad and sandie) "C's" were just not acceptable.
and thank goodness for that.
i'm still grateful for the work ethics they taught us about applying ourselves in school.
so the band.
this one below was called a name that would definitely not be deemed "PC" these days.
dad was the drummer.
top left.

following in his grandfather's footsteps,
thanks to auntie natalie, uncle shawn, & cousins emily, addie, & sophie...
i give you,
a rockstar in the making.
grandpa is so proud.

whipped nog {a shin-dig}

the red lips
reSOLution, turned reVOLution.
a good one, you were.
i think i'll keep you.

tammy's egg nog...or whipped nog.
it had floating chunks of whipped cream.
i died and went to heaven.
and then things got REALLY interesting...
it's just not a party at the mccleary's without a little GH.
last year's here.

like MOTHER, like son;-)
boo-yah!
largest pizza i've ever seen in my life.
the ruff's were responsible for it.
a pie is what it's called. bree called me a "poser" after this shot above.
whatever.
the first meltdown wasn't until 11:43pm.
go little dude go!
can't believe he made it that long.
if we'd only known what was in store...
at which point we decided to just stick it out and enjoy the midnight hour.
and then the REAL fun began...
the story of the REST of our night follows:
arrived home 12:31am.
washed the pork loin's hands,
threw on his jammies,
and then into bed.
cleaned our kitchen,
picked up toys,
got ready for bed,
read our books for a minute,
went to bed sometime around 1am.
2:45am brought a screaming child.
"binky sean." i say.
he rolls out of bed.
hall light on.
forever is what it feels like.
"what is he doing?!" i think, ready to be really grumpy that he wasn't being faster.
i'm not the nice one in the middle of the night.
i'm working on it.
rolled out of bed to see what was up.
child in father's arms, still screaming.
"he can't breathe," says sean.
great, i think.
so we suck his nose.
old news.
put him back to bed.
10 minutes later screaming recommences,
except now he's gaging like he can't breathe and is going to throw up.
awesome.
at least he never threw up.
why did we stay up to midnight?
why did i keep my child up to midnight?
guilty feelings emerging,
"bad mother" speech going on in my head.
this goes on for about 3 hours.
the screaming and sucking snot, not the "bad mother" speech.
sometime around 4am i got tired of going back and forth between his crib and the recliner in the front room.
i tell sean to just bring him into our bed so we just have to sit up every 15 min to suck his nose.
sean agrees.
we're exhausted.
nights of a newborn were FLASHING before our eyes!
6 weeks early.
(although, i don't feel that exhausted this morning...maybe i can do this again.)
somewhere between 4 and 5am we decided he was finally breathing through his nose and sucking on his binky at the same time.
a feat within itself.
sean shoved two huge blankets under one end of the pork loin's mattress, put him to bed, turned on the "steam machine," and we all fell asleep until after 8am.
woke up with a food hangover.
or was it the egg nog????
cranky baby all morning, but awfully "lovie," as i call it.
hugs, kisses, reaching to sit on my lap.
love that little kid.
still think it was a great night and worth all of the aftermath.
crazy, i know.
thank goodness new year's is only once a year.
and thank goodness our friends and fam made the night worth it;-)
...
in other news...
the power went out this morning.
just realizing all of my clocks are wrong.
i did this again yesterday.
must have forgotten my note to self last year.
however, it wasn't nearly as bad.
picked up nursing necessities for baby "max" and bought a bathing suit to fit my "current form."
let the swimming begin again!
although, i haven't totally ruled out the bikini...

the boost

we let brennan eat in his booster seat at the counter with us tonight for dinner.
oh so generous we were feeling.
how did it go?
he whined the entire time.
drank juice and milk.
threw his fork.
never ate a bite.
i'd say it went awesome.
actually, now that i think about it, it was awesome.
all of the food stayed on his plate!
now that's an accomplishment.

"it was an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikini"

i swim.
i haven't in awhile.
i tried to swim around 20 weeks the way i swam before (that was a link to click in the blue, go ahead, click, we'll wait) i was pregnant and it landed me on the floor of our living room for an hour and a half.
exhausted and feeling like death.
the scout master was worried.
i just wanted to lay and not move.
so that's what i did.
i have a hard time with halfway and exercise.
so i decided to keep walking with my girlfriends and drop the swimming.
well, now walking is out of the question.
seeing as walking from the front of our apt to the back of our apartment is uncomfortable.
and when i say uncomfortable, i mean that the waddle is in full effect.
a painful waddle.
that means we're nearing the end.
hurray!
waddle away!
the scout master says it's cute.
i think it's funny.
and i miss swimming.
but now i have a problem.
my swim suit doesn't fit my "current state."
i thought maybe it would stretch to fit.
nope.
which leaves a decision.
buy a maternity suit with 7 weeks to go,
or make an absolute spectacle out of myself in a bikini.
a polka dot bikini.
that i haven't worn in almost 7 years b/c i stopped wearing bikinis.
ok, wait, that's a lie.
i did wear it on my due date with brennan for a picture to show how big my belly was b/c my mom did it when she was pregnant with me.
i plan to do it on the due date or before rushing to the hospital if any future children come early.
it's fun.
and it makes me feel proud of the pregnant body.
and it's AMAZING to look back and see how absolutely HUGE my belly was!
so cool.
back to the bikini wearing.
8pm "lap swim" in the city pool is where jess, bree, keri, and i partake in our "aqua"-holicism.
where we are the youngest swimmers by at least 50 years.
where i would be sporting this polka dot bikini.
i just keep thinking what else i could do with the money in our budget instead of spending it on a maternity speedo.
like sushi.
we could go out to sushi twice for the price of what i think a maternity speedo will cost.
i'm sure there are other options, but speedo's have a great life span, and i like to buy suits that will last.
then i think healthy living is important too, and with a few weeks of saving i might be able to work it into the budget.
but then i picture myself trying to get into the pool, 8 mo. pregnant in a bikini, a polka dot bikini, without being noticed by the elderly crew and the high school lifeguards.
and i laugh.
and i think it would be really funny.

on my back, but i was on my left.

3:50am.
i woke up, blazing hot, or at least i felt like it.
and ready to puke.
i didn't puke, in case you were wondering.
i layed there on my left side, wishing i didn't feel like i wanted to puke.
was i on my back?
no, on my left.
but was i on my back?
i love sleeping on my back.
hardest part of being pregnant is not being able to sleep on my back.
this happened once around 18 weeks or something like that.
the waking up and feeling like puking,
except that time i made myself puke hoping it would make me feel better.
it didn't.
it just made me never want winger's wings ever again.
was it the bacon i ate last night in my blt-a?
"are you feeling sick babe?" i asked the scout master.
he grumbled that his legs were a little achy.
this is normal.
so i roll to my right side, hoping it will help.
nope, i still feel awful.
was it the bacon?
finally i decide it would be safest to go take a seat on the bathroom floor.
i sat there for 5 minutes until i was so cold i was shaking.
so glad to not feel hot anymore that i didn't care i was cold.
then i walked out to the recliner, had the scout master cover me in a blanket, and fell asleep until 6:45am or something close to that.
i walked back to my side of the bed, climbed in, freezing from the cold sheets, scooted over to the scout master's side.
his sheets are always warm.
then i got too hot and scooted back to mine.
and fell back asleep until after 9.
thank you scout master for getting up with the pork loin.
and now i'm thinking it must have been b/c i was sleeping on my back, even though i woke up on my left.
the vena cava is the only thing i can gather.
couldn't have been the bacon.
from my experience you can't just not puke if you have food poisoning.
but you can stand up to let the blood flow back into your body if the vena cava has been smooshed from sleeping on your back.
i can't wait to sleep on my back again.
too bad having the baby doesn't mean sleep;-)
b/c i remember thinking it would when i was pregnant with brennan.
that's funny.
...
in other news...
it's freakishly cold for utah today.
we've got nothing on rexburg, but it's cold for utah.
12 degrees at 9am.
warmed up to 18 or something by 10 when we went out.
ice skating on our creek.
sort of.do anyone's kids keep their gloves on?
he screams b/c the handles are cold, but refuses to keep his gloves on.
until 10 minutes later when he fell into the snow with no gloves.
then he wore his gloves.
until 10 minutes later when he ripped them off again and it all started over.
i don't want to deal with gloves ever again.
this just didn't seem like a good idea to me,
but they assured me it was perfectly safe.
uh-huh.
see, 18 or something.

his cousins taught him to make a snow angel.

he got the legs going, but never figured out the arms.

didn't he do a great job;-)

or maybe this was mary's...

the big boy swing.

good thing we're having a baby b/c i think mine might not be one anymore.

although my dad still calls me his baby.
i never understood why.

i guess i do now.

always my baby, just a little bigger.

but he was never really that small.

live for this

this is the stuff i live for.

believe it or not, i got to enjoy him like this for 30 minutes.

best 30 min. of my day.

don't know what i did to deserve it, but i couldn't keep my eyes off of him.

i tried to only kiss him every so often, to avoid smothering.

our wiener dog growing up hated that i kissed the side of his face so much that he would get up and move.

i didn't want the pork loin to get up and move, so i restrained myself.

i love his tummy.

i love his gushy chest.

i love his cabbage patch arms and the dimples on the tops of his hands.

i love the day after christmas.