"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Thursday, August 21, 2014

brennan THE 1st grader.

things brennan told me when i woke him up 
for his first day of 1st grade this morning:
1. i'm not going to school.
2. i want to sleep in.
3. i am NOT going.
4. here's the deal: if you let me play video games, i will go later.
5. what are you thinking waking me up this early? {it was 7:15am--we have to leave by 7:45am}
6. why do i have to go to school every day all day?
7. i am not hungry and i'm NOT eating breakfast {he's not my morning person. i can't blame him. i don't fancy mornings much either. today was my exception as i was in a particular uppity mood. it will pass.}
{at which point i told him he could play computer games for half an hour when he got HOME from school if he would get up quietly and go downstairs for breakfast without waking max up in her bed 4 feet away.}
8. ok, ok, i will go eat breakfast.
then he said he didn't want to wear the light blue shirt he picked out the night before,
so i ran back up for the white.
at which point i learned that it would be best if we dressed him AFTER breakfast instead of before,
as i found myself going back upstairs for a second white shirt because the first white shirt was covered in peanut butter and jelly, and i just felt like even though you don't need to come home with a clean shirt, you should at least start the first day of school with a clean shirt.
then he asked me why would they pick a bad day for the first day of school.
good days are "sunny!"
and it was cloudy, and it might rain,
and so he needs to wear pants not shorts.
{pants that are literally 3 inches too long that i surely haven't had hemmed b/c ya know IT'S AUGUST AND ALL, and normally that means 90's and sunny, so i was really trying to build up the shorts that are too big at the waist--i bought big in an attempt for economical, which basically means he'll most likely be swimming in his school clothes until about january. also, i think it means i need to buy him a belt. one size too big sounded like such a good deal when i was online ordering three weeks ago...it still does, it's just that well, it's big. which was the idea. you know what i'm saying.} 
i teared up watching him walk into the door of his 1st grade classroom,
but as i am HORRIFIED and downright AGAINST ever 
being emotionally predictable in these of this nature,
i refused to let myself cry.
this is silly, yes, but it is who i am and always have been.
let me tell you,
i will never forget watching him walk through his 1st grade classroom door with white socks up to his shorts,
Mario backpack on, and gorgeous thick brown sun-steaked hair.
he didn't look back,
and i knew this was my typical brennan,
who has never needed me to walk him into anywhere.
so safe and secure that he doesn't ever bother to worry that it will ever be anything other than that.
{completely opposite of max might i add, who still cries when i drop her off to play at a friend's house.}
note: we need some ankle socks STAT.
max dressed chase up in her favorite pink tutu while i was cleaning up breakfast downstairs.
she said they were playing princess mermaid sleepover.
full of pink sparkle and fairy unicorns i was told.
i still can't believe she got him into that getup all on her own.
her own red headed barbie.
every girl's dream come true.
i have never laughed so hard then when he came around 
the corner ready for ballet this morning in my kitchen.
the first thing i thought was,
"oh you lucky dog you, stuck at home with all of the girls."
and then my friends,
there was the REAL highlight of my day,
and that is
 things i learned while driving afternoon carpool.
1. they're gonna need a stoplight off the main road.
2. don't be on time. ever. 
i was about 300 in line, with about 300 more behind me. 
these are the hilarious escapades of going to a school that is almost all drive in kids.
with that being said,
might i add that i was laughing my head off the entire time?
well, i was.
first of all, this hour and a half was made possible by a babysitter,
who i so smartly left max and chase with back at home.
this would have been a horrible experience without the wonderful babysitter.
god bless her.
i sure hope no one in this neighborhood ever wants to go anywhere from 3-4pm ever again monday thru thurs and 1-2pm on fridays. my favorite part was watching all of the construction workers trying to figure out what was going on. you wanted to get your cement mixer in right now? NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
cars that were there by accident kept trying to turn around, drive down the wrong side of the road,
and finally the police started helping out.
one mom just ended up parking her car and straight up walking it in.
that was a highlight for me.
i was just so happy that i had the good sense to go pee before i got into the car to go pick all of the kids up.
so what did i do for this hour and half?
well, i turned on all of my favorite songs of summer,
and i imagined myself swimming in the pool,
goggles on,
with my feet shoved into the kiddie flippers halfway,
and my hair braided to one side, with non compliant pieces swaying in the water on my shoulders.
 also, i texted my friends and family this crazy scene b/c i just couldn't believe how long it was taking.
pleast note: i was not stressed or mad. it was more just awe and amazement.
also they told us the first day was going to be awful, and to expect it.
it gets better every day as the students, teachers, and parent drivers get better at being fast and efficient.
in two weeks i'm hoping we will be zipping in and out without the gridlock traffic.
i've been told it will happen.
and since i'm such an optimist, i will believe.
{the best part being that all children are held and supervised until you get there, so let's just say the school is more motivated than normal to get this efficiency whipped into shape and fast:)}
i've seen my fair share of principals over the years when i was interning, student teaching, aiding, being a classroom teacher in one state and then another, observing at schools, interviewing for jobs, etc. etc.
and let me tell you, this gal is one of my favs.
i have never seen a principal with so much dedication to be involved.
she was standing at the front of all of our 1000 cars,
reading name cards off over a microphone that called the kids up to the sidewalk loaders on the front lawn,
telling all of us thank you for our patience, the first day is the worst,
and please know it will get better,
all the while with a friendly smile on her face that you just knew was genuine.
i didn't even mind waiting i loved her so much.
not that i'd want to wait that long every day.
just saying, it wasn't twisting me up today. 
for the rest of the night i lured brennan in with cookies and snacks, and "will you help me's" so that i could get every detail possible from his day out of him.
this is what i gathered:
1. two girls were mean to cade and one girl bumped into brennan.
2. the best part of the day was playing on the playground at BOTH recesses.
3. eating home lunch in the cafeteria was a close second.
4. he likes both of his teachers a lot.
5. they counted to 5 in german, but he can't remember the words now.
6. "nine" means no. they also learned yes, which he told me the word for, but i forget what it is now.
7. and he remembers her telling him the word for stand "up," but he forgets what the word was afterall.
8. they read two "no david" stories about david going to school.
9. he drew a picture of his face. it's at school for later.
10. he thought about me once because he said "he was looking forward to giving me a hug," 
but that he was a happy guy all day long and was never sad about not being with us. 
{this was my favorite thing he told me about his day.}
11. he made two new friends. one from class and one from cade's soccer team. 
{knowing brennan there are 10 more that he can't remember their names. my social butterfly.}
12. in his words "school is WAY easier with pills." 
{we haven't gotten into that yet on here. that's for another day.}
13. and last but not least, "could {i} please pack a lunch that is less messy tomorrow", which ended up turning into "can i just have school lunch one day?" and could that day please be tomorrow?
oh to be at your first day of 1st grade.
when i was a semester away from graduating from college,
i was doing my student teaching in a first grade classroom in rexburg, idaho.
i hated it.
i didn't like that they couldn't read,
i didn't like that they couldn't write.
i didn't like that they didn't get my jokes.
i knew i wasn't made for teaching 1st grade.
but the one thing that i did love was that they were the cutest little tiny humans on the planet.
i loved them!
i loved reading to them.
and all i remember thinking that entire semester was how i just wanted to be a mom.
and i wanted to have a 1st grader of my own.
i have a first grader of my own.
and i'm going to bask in it the entire year.
oh happy day!!!
brennan THE 1st grader.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

despite waiting in line for carpool pickups {why ya gotta be so ruuuuude}

"Love looks not with eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."
-William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

now tell me,
where did summer go?
if i close my eyes it all feels like one short dream.
the kind you have right before you wake up suddenly, 
in the early hours of the morning.
where you've just had the best sleep of your life,
and you can't think of anything else you'd rather do, 
than go back to sleep and pick up in your dream right where you left off.
i have never put off everything enjoyed anything like i did with this summer.
my house was a mess the entire time.
because we weren't inside of it,
and when we were, we were rushing for baths and bed,
and the waiting slumbers of our pillows.
i went weeks without going to the grocery store,
{my record was 2 and a half. weeks guys. weeks.},
which always made dinner a creative and ingenious process,
and winder milk to my door an absolute NECESSITY.
i did laundry only when we ran out of swimming suits and towels,
and i cleaned my house on a "we can't live in this filth" basis.
which might i add, 
always made it feel cleaner than it ever has been before for about 3 hours after i finished cleaning it.
i felt like we were a step behind the entire time, 
but in THE BEST of ways, if you can even imagine it.
i spent more time outdoors than in.
never have i ever craved the outdoor air like i did this year.
we went through sunscreen bottles like beetles on my tomato plants,
and my pumpkin plants went on strike.
{still only one growing out there folks. i could cry.}
as i've been driving my kids to school and orientations this week,
and when our "summer songs" that we will always remember 
as our favorites from this year come on the radio, 
i can almost feel the pool water going through my water wrinkled fingers,
with my feet shoved into the kid flippers that swam me around like i was in the middle of the deep blue sea, 
swimming across the afternoon shaded pool,
where i can feel my goggles leaving marks around my eyes, 
and my hair that's escaping the braid i tried to trap it in, 
insisting on dancing in the water on the surface at my shoulders.
and if i listen close enough i can almost hear my kids splashing on the stairs in the water beside me.
i don't have one single care in the world, knowing that chase is napping in his crib in grandma's basement,
and the only thing on our agenda for the rest of the day is pineapple popsicles and take out,
with the music blaring over the gazebo speakers.
and when i'm scooting my kids out the door in the mornings this week and the next to come,
waiting for the leaves to start turning colors,
and those summer songs come on the radio,
i'll remember those days in the pool,
with my feet shoved into the kiddie flippers,
and those summer songs will take me back there.
so that just for a minute i won't have a care in the entire world.
dreaming of pineapple popsicles and those summer songs on the radio.
despite waiting in line for carpool pick ups.
sing it with me,
"why ya gotta be sooooo ruuuuuude?"
{"i'm wearing these boobs tonight." -max}