chase's click clack latch has turned into a ZERO latch.
after 3 weeks of no problems.
this has left me crying.
frustrated to tears.
not in a sad way.
"come on, suck!"
"we don't have time for this"
kind of way.
oodles of milk,
there for the sucking.
he is down right refusing to suck.
as of this afternoon that is.
because before then we were at least clicking and clacking.
except late at night.
and in the middle of the night.
then he will suck.
at least we're all sleeping.
he's so fickle with his sucking.
after two friends, a lactation counsellor, and a charge nurse,
we are still plum out of luck.
full too fast,
something i've eaten,
slippery when wet,
drowning in milk
and who really knows anyway?
kind of luck.
how is it possible that two years of first hand nursing experience can't get me out of this.
just not with chase.
we'll get it figured out.
i know we'll get it figured out.
it's the figuring out part that is not fun.
i've been mean to my big kids.
b/c i'm frustrated with nursing.
b/c even when he did latch, they would all but burn the house down in the time it takes to nurse.
just short and impatient.
that's just long and frustrating.
can't they see i just need a minute?!
or three hours?
to get this baby's latch figured out?
and then nice mommy will come back.
i keep telling them to "go away."
in my stern mommy voice.
it breaks my heart.
and i swear i won't say it again.
and then out it comes,
and i promise to try better next time.
max hits chase.
or just tells me no.
and throws something.
i can see it in their eyes.
what happened to my life,
look in their eyes.
this is part where i remind myself that their lives have been turned upside down.
and maybe they deserve a get out of jail free card.
but can i have one too?
i think it's time to schedule my massage.
i'd better pick up some peanut butter cheesecake and a raspberry lemonade on the way home too.
i didn't see this one coming.