"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Saturday, February 27, 2010

PHANTOM TOE & fever hair.

fever hair
(pre-chocolate milked child)
ovaltine people, chocolate milk is ovaltine.

the pork loin was up all night with a fever, wet cough, labored breathing, and runny nose.
it's NOT rsv.
i thought it was.
i'm glad it's not.
he's been swabbed.
right in the nostrils.
it's bronchiitis (brawn-key-I-tis).
they tell me it's different from brawn-KI-tis b/c the KEY version is in the kiddies.
it's croupy, it's snotty.
and it's messed up the pork loin's nap.
i lysoled my house this morning and started the laundry.
this kid has cleaner sheets than oprah.
she likes them changed every other day.
he's had them changed 4 days in a row.
the bulb sucker has rejoined our clan.
lucky little loin.
unlucky little nostrils.
and then there's PHANTOM TOE.
when max was born i had 5-10 seconds of thinking she only had 4 toes on each foot.
in fact, i ran through the thoughts in my mind and had concluded that 4 toes was okay b/c you don't really need the pinky toe.
maybe she would even get a discount on pedicures with one less pinky toe on each side.
really, these were my exact thoughts.
see what i mean:
1, 2, 3, 4
no discounts for her after all.
the sneaky little thing curls around and hides under the rest.
they may even charge extra if it doesn't straighten itself out.
so darling, i can hardly stand it;-)
both sides, too.
in other news...
mama C woke up to tsunami warning sirens at 6am this morning.
she called me very calmly to let us know they were going up to higher ground and asked what i thought she should bring.
i told her water.
i can't believe i forgot to mention chapstick.
more to report later.

Friday, February 26, 2010

the kind you eat...and don't eat.

beth came with her delicacies yesterday.
the kind you eat.
and the kind you don't.
she reminded me how fun it is to play with brennan.
she doted on max and me.
she's a caterer, did i mention?
the above was her creation with me in mind.
everyone needs a beth.
and a chocolate dipped strawberry covered in chopped up peanut butter cups.
she brought frozen lasagna, salad, and garlic bread for my fridge.
i had cursed the day before it started.
but it turned out to be better than bearable.
it turned out a smile on my face.
i slept last night.
in 3-2 1/2 hr intervals.
it was medicinal.
it leveled out my hormones.
thank heavens.
and with the sun out today, there's nothing we can't face.
except running out of the choc covered strawberries.
that might really throw me off.
in other news...
brennan learned to climb up on the couch by himself .
and max took on a lion.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

having my cake, and eating it too.

i am completely overwhelmed.
i'm sure sleep would help, but somehow i've become too exhausted and overwhelmed to even accomplish that.
i fed max at 4am and have yet to fall back asleep.
i wish i could say that i've gotten to this point by trying to do it all, but i don't even think i can claim that.
although, i'm sure my family gives me far too much credit for what they think i'm doing all day to agree with me about not doing it all.
they will tell you i am trying to do too much.
if taking a shower every day is doing too much, then i'm definitely guilty as charged.
i've switched into survival mode.
feeling like my head is just bobbing above the water.
i remember the 3 week mark with brennan.
i lost it about then too.
it all got better when brennan started sleeping through the night.
i know it's just the sleep.
and having to change my life.
i'm not good with change.
i like routine.
once i can find a new routine and some sleep things will improve.
when i think back to this time with brennan i can say that i should have not let my emotions get the best of me.
i cry when i'm exhausted.
i wish i didn't, but i do.
i've cried a lot in the last 12 hours.
poor sean.
i'm amazed at what the last week has done to me.
dang, even a few days ago i still felt great.
i just want to push pause for 9 hours so i can get a nice long rest and clear my head.
thank goodness my family is coming next weekend.
i need the relief.
right now, i'm dreading the day ahead.
is it 6pm yet and time for sean to come home???
even though i know this is just a fleeting moment to enjoy, my brain is telling me i'm not going to make it.
at the same time, it's telling me i'm being ridiculous.
it's just the sleep.
the lack of sleep.
i'm sure i'm not the only person to have ever felt this way...
still, for some reason it feels embarrassing to feel this way.
like i should be stronger than this.
like i shouldn't be letting the lack of sleep get to me.
not wanting to change the fact that i have two children, just wanting the ease of one back.
or at least the easy toddler i had before i had two.
i don't want the life of one back.
the life of two is better.
i just want it all to be fixed now.
i want the adjustment phase over.
without any of the work, lol.
how's that for having my cake and eating it too;-)
(at least brennan is wearing the huggie's overnighters.)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

gibson gyser

i cannot account for the rest of the pee.
these few drops do not do makenzie's gyser justice.
we're talking 3 feet folks.
3 feet!!!
i fear it may have landed on the carpet or on sean.

at 6am this morning we learned that girls can pee just as high and just as far as boys.
i fed max, scooted to the center of the bed, and vowed to wash all of the bedding this morning.
day #3 of being EXTRA grateful to have a washer and dryer in my house.
the following occurred in the back of the house while i was feeding max in the front of the house.
he managed to pull out every single toy from the shopping cart and the kitchen play area.

lessons learned in motherhood this morning...
when your toddler pees through his diaper yesterday, don't go thinking it was a fluke.
he will pee through his diaper the next day too.
and you will be washing pee out of his sheets two days in a row.
i'm wondering if i should just get the size 6 diapers AND the huggies overnighters...


i realized this morning that i am absolutely terrified of brennan getting sick. if there is a meldown in store, it will be over him getting sick or over him in general. i almost cried letting him go to mcdonald's with jenn and her kids this morning. mostly b/c i feel so badly for him being locked up in the house with a mom that has ZERO energy to play with him. partly out of fear that i am sending him into RSV land (public) b/c i selfishly want the time to myself. it just feels so nice to have him entertained b/c i feel like i'm doing a shotty job of doing it myself. i was so excited for myself to be able to shower before 1pm without having a toddler throw all of the bath toys in the shower with me. happy and worried/sad all at the same time. funny thing guilt is...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


this is where my iron and ironing board sit for 361-364 days out of the year.
i don't iron.
i have.
probably 5 times in the last 6 years.
i'm not exaggerating.
ask sean.
i avoid buying and wearing clothes that would require an iron.
if i have something that wrinkles, it goes in the dryer for 10 minutes.
wrinkles don't bother me that much.
much less than the process of having to work in the time to iron before i get dressed.
i'm already "pressed" for time without ironing.
sean's white dress shirts are the wrinkle free ones.
bless you nordstrom's.
and bless you sandie and grandma joi for buying them:-)
you are thoroughly supporting my habit of NOT ironing.
i thank you.
WE thank you:-)
if i do have a skirt that needs ironing, it is most likely for church.
at which point i beg sean to do it for me.
and then i make sure not to get it too dirty during the 3 hour services.
that way i can wear it at least 1 more time (or more--don't judge) before needing to wash and iron it again.
i used the iron and board when i made brennan's quilt and my apron.
i "pressed" them.
which means "iron," in case you were wondering.
i didn't know this at first.
it was a rather embarrassing event, standing there pressing the fabric with my hands trying to figure out why the directions would have me do something that did absolutely NOTHING.
only to call my mom and have her laugh for hours.
it really was funny.
i still don't understand why they couldn't just say "iron."
the pork loin has mastered the zipper.
the stud enjoys showing off his chest while sleeping.
he's THAT vain.
and then he peed through his diaper this morning.
curse you kirkland diapers.
i think i'm finally going to cave and try the huggies overnighters.
i'm so glad i have a washer and dryer at my house.

Monday, February 22, 2010

cold sun

i don't usually play basketball.
so don't go thinking i'm cool like that.
after being un-preg-nant-ed i find myself still laying around in a lazy haze.
it's easy to get used to people bringing you things and picking up things for you when you're pregnant.
it turns into a habit for me.
it's like i have to teach myself how to do things for myself again.
oh, is that energy and oomph i have again?
i think that's what that is.
so i shot some hoops this afternoon.
it's amazing how warm you can stay when you're not sitting in a chair on your phone.
i am more of an "individual point A to point B" kind of athletic person.
running, swimming, crocheting.
no contact sports.
i don't like all of the jabbing.
i am one of those girls that would lose in a brawl.
definitely wouldn't make it past the cornicopia in hunger games.
when i told sean i took brennan outside and shot the basketball,
his mouth dropped and he asked where his wife was.
really, i don't think he's ever seen me take a shot.
i played in the 6th grade on a church sponsored team in our town.
that was the name of the league.
i was on the "B" team.
definition: we don't cut anyone b/c it's church, so you can be on the "B" team.
my one glory was the fluke 3 point shot i made.
hero for a day.
go me:-)
it felt really good to freeze our bums off in the cold sun this afternoon. maybe i'll do this "shooting hoops" thing more often.
don't get too excited sean.
i'm still not playing one on one.
i've heard you are dirty with your elbows!
i'm thinking that kinz has got something going with her lips.
people pay good money for ones like that, don't they??.
2 weeks:
8 lbs 1 oz (go milk go!)
20 & 3/4 inches
the nurse measured her twice b/c she couldn't believe max had grown almost 3 inches in 2 weeks.
lessons learned in motherhood today:
if nursing is going well, the world is at peace.
if your toddler doesn't want to wear his gloves, he will not die without them.
amazing, i know.
in fact, he won't even get frostbite.
and you will have one less step in prep of getting out the door.
watching too much tv gives mommy time for a shower.
and that makes for a REALLY happy mommy.
and a REALLY happy life:-)

Sunday, February 21, 2010


there's nothing i love more than turning a can of olives back and forth.
yes, i'm being completely serious.
have you done it lately???
you can feel the olive juice going through the olives.
so soothing.
just like returning to a sense of normalcy.
as simple as cooking dinner for my family.
not the same as before.
but familiar.
in a brand new kind of way.
(our attempt at "tummy time". can't you tell she thinks it's riveting!!??)
gosh, i love these kids.