batman almost drowned

yesterday i was putting max down for her nap.
humming her a song from mary poppins that i don't know the words to,
but that my mom sang to me and sings to my kids now.
both of my kids ask for "grandma's song" before they go to bed.
i love it.
so i'm humming to max and all of a sudden i hear BLOOD CURDLING screams from brennan downstairs.
not just whining.
BLOOD CURDLING screams.
i just couldn't imagine what was wrong.
i've never heard him scream like this before.
i put max down in her crib,
closed the door,
and hustled my pregnant waddling self down the stairs,
making sure to not fall or trip down any stairs in my hurry.
i found brennan in the bathroom,
and it was obvious he had just gone pee.
but he was still screaming like he was dying.
he must not be able to pee???
or peed on himself???
no pee on the ground.
no pee on his clothes
no 4 yr old dancing around having to go.
clearly he had already gone.
poo?
could he just not get himself up on the potty?
why was he crying like he had broken his leg???
all of these things went through my mind in about 3 seconds.
1
2
3.
then i looked into the potty.
something was there,
but i it just wasn't registering what it could be but it surely was NOT poo.
and then it clicked.
BATMAN WAS DROWNING.
in a potty full of pee.
without thinking i plunged my hand right into that potty.
full of fresh pee.
i think i even closed my eyes when pee and potty water went past my wrist.
at least it wasn't in poo.
this is what i was thinking.
brennan was still hysterical.
even though i was telling him batman was saved.
he was good.
he was going to be fine.
it was like brennan was in an episode of ER and george clooney was frantically trying to save his dying mother from a car crash.
i just wanted to get batman back in order as quickly as possible,
so i started batman's soapy bath.
i washed that little batman with hand soap and hot water, cape and all, for a good 3 minutes.
around minute 2 brennan stopped crying and shouted,
"you saved batman mom!!!! he was drowning, and you saved him! you're the best mom ever!!!"
i was prouder than proud.
"why yes i am" {i said it outloud to myself}
i had SAVED batman from drowning:)
made my entire day.
and apparently batman's too.
phew,
it's a good thing i didn't have to perform CPR.
that may have been crossing the line.

letters to Emily {Binkies, Cheddar Cheese, & Mexican Food}

Oh my sweet Emily,

Okay, I totally feel for you, last part of pregnancy=the hardest part. Now, some say the first trimester, with the morning sickness, awkward gaining weight and you can't really feel the baby yet, but I have to disagree. The bulging baby is the hardest to carry around, sleep with and eat with. But...you look great, really great. And I am sorry I had to laugh at your story of you falling down the last 3 steps...not funny at the time, understandable, but it is a pure representation of the third trimester! I grow in klutziness and stupidity the last trimester...not that you are stupid or klutzy. When my mom and sister were here before the birth I was frantic and told all of them, "hurry put the trash out it's garbage day!" (which is tuesday) and they hurried and put it out for me. We even went into town and went shopping and it was the end of the day we realized it was thursday! I had misled them all by two days...so funny! Wow, well, I am glad you are okay and the baby is as well, that is what matters most. I feel for you Em, I really do.

But you get a baby in the end, so it's all worth it.

So, I totally get the stuffed animal attached to the binki now. When you first told me about it and I saw Brennan and Makenzie with them I didn't get it. I thought, what difference does an animal at the other end of a pacifier make? Well, I need one, bear pulls out his binki or it falls out and it would be so nice for him to have a little playmate attached so he can keep it in longer.

These past couple weeks have been crazy, having a neuro typical baby as far as I know, is harder than I thought. He is needier than Smith and loves to be held. Smith has always been good with anything, holding, not holding, playing by himself, having me play with him, he is pretty chill. But Bear, man he loves to be held. At first I drank it in and loved it, now I am like, really? You want to be held ALL the time? But he does, luckily I have two arms and can stir things and write things down while holding the little man. It is great though, I do love it.

I love that your belly is so popular with your kids. And that your kids use it as a car ramp. That is great! Made me laugh. We have an appointment with a special needs school here in Heidelberg and I crossing my fingers Smith gets in. They will pick him up and feed him there and drop him off at the end of the school day. I think that is wonderful. But we'll see.

Groceries are amazing here, they never cease to thrill me. Every time I go into a grocery store here it is my birthday. Other than the fact they don't have cheddar cheese, or mexican food, it's wonderful. It's funny the things you miss. I do miss church in english, and I miss having a car (most of the time), and I miss the movie theatre.... hmmm...and my family and friends of course. But, I have substitutes for all those things here, church in german, well it's hard to stay put when you have a baby anyway, so I would probably be walking the halls in an american ward. A car, two words, public transportation. Movie theatre, Netflix. Family and friends, we have a few members of our immediate family here which is so FuN but they are moving back in a month!! Friends, we have our ward. So until we get to the U.S. of A....those subs will have to do. I love yall and until then, tchuss!!!

love

Beth

p.s. say hi to Sean for me

letters to Beth {34 weeks}

note: there's a baby in there.

{this is what brennan tells me every day}

Dear Beth,
i would give just about anything to slouch over forward in a chair.
oh how blissful it would be.
my stomach is a magnet for things to be driven over it.
apparently, it's a great mountain.
and race track.
max thinks it's a seat.
brennan uses it for a headrest.
and loves when the baby kicks him in the face.
he gets really excited about it and lights up inside.
and still wants to name the baby "brennan gibson."
he told me he doesn't want me to get FLAT again.
he wants me to keep my belly.
not get FLAT.
this came after a conversation about how when the baby comes out my belly will get smaller and go away.
i love the way he thinks about the world.
i can't wait to hear what he has to say when the baby is out and the belly is still there;)
my klutziness has reached all new levels in the past week.
i fell down the last three stairs of my main stairway on thursday.
hard.
boom
boom
boom.
just like that.
i had a hand full of toys in my arms,
so nothing but my tailbone was there to break the fall.
not pretty.
and it hurt.
a lot.
A LOT.
it was scary.
i was a little shakey after.
i thought two things:
please don't let my water break.
and this is really going to hurt later.
and then i tried to figure out how to get myself up off of that tile.
i took two tylonel and sat on the couch for the rest of the afternoon.
i still can't bend over without something to help push me back up.
THEN yesterday in the shower i washed one foot.
all soapy and clean.
i just love what a good lather dove soap gets going.
and then when i went to wash the other,
i set down that soapy foot,
and slip and slide i did the splits in the shower.
that one soapy foot just went right out from under me,
and i surely looked incredibly graceful.
or not.
i was just glad the tub was only so long b/c one foot took each end of the tub and stopped me from falling on my face.
it didn't hurt as much as the stairs.
not including my pride.
but now my right hamstring is awfully sore.
so these are my joys of pregnancy in week 34.
i still don't think the stairs were funny.
just painful.
but the splits.
they are funny now.
REALLY funny.
like, i might pee my pants thinking about it funny.
and then sean will tell me i need to be doing more kegals.
i think i may have sworn when it happened,
but i can't remember which word it was, so i can't be sure.
imagine it.
me and my big ol' belly doing the splits in the shower.
i wish i were as flexible as i was in high school.
it may have made it less painful.
or not.
maybe more graceful?
i'm not sure.
i fear i am always on the verge of being a little grouchy.
especially between the hours of 5:30pm-8:30pm, but that is normal even when i'm not pregnant.

...

"The happiest people...are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy."

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

...

maybe this means i need to do some sewing...

4 years ago today i was 40 weeks pregnant with brennan.

and still carried him for a week more.

now THAT'S something to be grouchy about!

and yet i wasn't.
in fact, i the nurse told my OB she had never seen a 41 week pregnant lady that was so pleasant.
i remember feeling blissfully happy.

and with max i had weaved a tapestry as long as the state of california by the time i delivered.

is this normal to feel a little "meh" with the third?
or is it just the 34 week blues?
the "you're almost there, but not quite yet" blues.

i have no idea.
i know i'm happy inside.
i dare say EXCITED even!
but it's just the verge of excitement.
like i'm trying to make myself wait to really get excited.
b/c i know we're not there yet.
but we are?
i'm beaming when i talk about how close things are getting.
wondering if he will be like brennan or max,
knowing he will be different from them both.
a new little person to figure out.

i hope it will pass quickly,
and that i can enjoy the journey until it does.
just with less boom boom boom and splits.

Love,

Emily

a side of sass

her favorite word is "no."

it's still more funny than cute.

it will pass.

and become completely un-cute.

but for now it's still cute.

except for brennan.

he gets the most upset when she says it.

b/c he's used to having her follow his every whim.

now he just gets mad and frustrated when she tells him no.

and wants to stand there and fight with her about it until she says yes.

which she won't.

b/c she's definitely a girl that knows what she wants and what she likes.

with a side of sass.

and a whole LOT of opinions.

it's REALLY funny.

OBO

i'll give you a million dollars if you come clean these up for me.

OBO.

spinach garage

my garage is broken.
i am sad.
but i now know how to manually open and close it.
i've always wondered.
have you ever wondered if kids really like spinach?
me too.
and now i know.
max does.
straight from the bowl.
she is going to turn into a vegetable.
with a sucker in one hand.
and spinage in the other.
seeing as i've done the same things with brennan and her i don't think i can take credit for it, but i guess i'll try.

52 bags {lent}

i just want to hide them in the pantry so i don't have to share with anyone.
the 18 oz bag might last me a week.
maybe.
i'm seriously considering adding them to my year's supply of food storage.
i just think it would be hard to store 52 bags of them.
and not eat them all before easter.
especially in my pregnant and soon to be nursing state.
b/c if you've ever exclusively nursed a baby,
you know that you are eating for two when you're pregnant
{or NOT, but whatever, it's just fun to pretend},
but when you're nursing you get to eat for the entire block.
for an entire year.
AND lose weight.
at least that's how it works for me.
who needs black beans when you have a year's supply of pb eggs?
there's protein in pb eggs!
ok, maybe i need black beans,
but canned mushrooms are questionable.
i'd pick pb eggs over canned mushrooms every day of the week and twice on sunday.
except the sundays i need the canned mushrooms for baked spaghetti.
b/c i surely cannot put pb eggs in baked spaghetti.
but would i really even notice they were missing anyway?
the mushrooms, not the eggs.
i declare not.
pb eggs i would notice.
but not in baked spaghetti.
you get what i'm saying.
it's a good thing i'm not catholic anymore b/c i'd surely have to give them up for lent.
and i swear they'd taste better during lent.
pb eggs,
not canned mushrooms.
b/c everything i gave up during lent always tasted BETTER during lent.
something about the whole wanting what you can't have thing.
i think.
like fast sunday,
but for longer.
AND you don't get to just skip it when you're pregnant or nursing.
or call it quits around lunch.
now that's rough.
52 bags DOES seem a bit excessive though...
no?

wrinkles and all {33 weeks}

i can still zip up my coat,

but it is a squeeze:)

...

if i don't eat with my plate on my tummy,
the food ends up there anyway.
i don't know why i fight it.
b/c i just end up with a lot of messy shirts.
i've been bribing max and brennan with starburst for all of my pregnancy needs this week.
it's working great.
they are the best listeners you've ever seen.
sean was "man nesting" in the garage this weekend.
i was beaming:)
when i do the dishes i have to stand sideways b/c if i stand facing toward the sink my arms don't reach far enough to get to the water and the dish soap.
it's pretty funny.
note to self: don't wear boots with heels anymore.
even if it's just for a few hours to church.
it makes it hard to walk the rest of the day,
and not where you think it would hurt.
ouch.
now if i could just get rid of this head cold life would be perfect,
wrinkles and all.

heavy and wet

 heavy, wet snow.

that will all be gone by the middle of the week.

i could get used to this.

millions of puffs, puffs for me

HOLY FRIJOLE!!!

the draper costco has the double pack of reese's puffs.

i ran and then skipped.

to grab two boxes.

and then brennan and i celebrated with a dance back in the cart.

sean had to pull the off to the side b/c it was such a scene.

i have no shame.

it was pure bliss.

i don't think costco has ever made me so happy.