"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Saturday, August 3, 2013

"aseeeeeeeping" {dead bird}

while driving in the car the following conversation occurred on my cell phone...
EM-hello, hello?
SEAN-ummmm, so today when i was swimming with max at the pool, 
i was thinking she just had a really good imagination...
SEAN-b/c she told me about how she saw a dead bird, 
and i was just thinking she had a good imagination.
SEAN-yeah, i just found a dead bird in the sandbox. 
SEAN-ask her if she touched the bird!
EM-{over my shoulder} max, did you touch the dead bird?
EM-how many times?
MAX-one...two, TREE times! {smiling and very proud}
EM- did you pick him up?!
MAX- nooooope!:)
EM-which hand did you use?
MAX-dis one. 
{holding up her left hand.}
{really, i'm asking the 3 year old which hand she used? yep, i sure am.}
EM- why didn't you tell me???
MAX- 'cause he was assseeeeeeping:)
EM- we don't ever touch dead animals.
EM- and we always come and tell mommy and daddy if we find any dead animals.
MAX- ooooottttaaaayyy:) don't touch dead animals. 
the birdy was aaaassseeeeeping mommy. his eyes wouldn't open!:)
EM- i'll wash her hands right when we get to nordstroms.
call natalie, and find out what we should be keeping an eye out for.
SEAN- yeah. i think we need some new sand.
EM- i'm so grossed out.
SEAN- yeah.
EM- bye.
SEAN- bye.

note to self: 
when max tells you that she saw a dead bird in the sand box this morning while she's swimming with you in the pool, she's not just entertaining a good imagination. 
she did IN FACT find a dead bird in the sand box this morning. 
she also pet it one or two or three times to see if it was awake.
it was not awake.
in fact, in the words of max, 
"it's eyes would not open 'cause it was aseeeeeeeping."
yep we're all pretty grossed out over here.
especially b/c we didn't actually find out that she pet the dead bird 
she pet the dead bird.
time for some new sand in the sand box.
i think yes.
should we have called somebody???

Thursday, August 1, 2013

it was a beth day. {pizza rolls recipe}

{note: i have something in my teeth.}
beth came over and doted 
on us yesterday.
in her honor i made us pizza rolls.
while i cooked,
she fancied us with her artistic talents,
and played dolls and super heroes with my babies.
i give you,
cheesy, gooey, home made bread doughy goodness.

4 tsp yeast
2 cups warm water
4 tsp sugar
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
4 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp salt

1. yeast and sugar into the warm water. sit it your microwave for 10 minutes while the yeast rises. DO NOT COOK.
2. flour, salt, olive oil into your mixer. add water, 
yeast, and sugar mixture once yeast has turned 
yellow and bubbly {after about 10 minutes}.
3. mix with dough hook in your mixer 
or knead on counter top for about 5 minutes. 
i added about 3/4 cup water to it while it mixed.
click here and scroll down about halfway for tips 
about what your dough should look like.
4. put half of your dough into a greased bowl, cover and sit in the microwave for 45 min-1 hour. DO NOT COOK. 
{put the other half of the dough into a greased 
ziploc freezer bag and freeze. you can thaw on your counter 
another day and let it rise as it thaws 
to make another batch of pizza rolls, 
but without all of the work of making your dough.}

28 cut up square pieces of cheese {i used colby jack}
1 package of pepperoni {or at least 56 slices}
1 stick of butter, room temp {for spreading on top}
garlic powder
italian seasoning
freshly grated parmesian {i was out, didn't use}
ranch or marinara for dipping

1. flour your counter, roll out your dough. 
get it thin. see below. 
{or use pilsbury canned dough if you fancy.}
2. use a pizza rolling cutter to cut your dough into squares. they don't need to be perfect.
3. make a pepperoni and cheese chunk sandwich.
{i cut up pieces of colby jack, but i'm sure you could do shredded mozzarella or any cheese really.}
4. fold in each side like you're wrapping a square present.
and let me tell you, these little balls of joy 
are INDEED presents for your mouth:).
5. pinch and stretch the dough to get them to 
cover the pepperoni and cheese.
6. place seam side down into a greased pan.
7. once your entire pan is lined up with little bundles of joy, slather the tops with butter, sprinkle garlic powder and Italian seasoning on top. 
{i was out of fresh Parmesan  but i'll be sprinkling that on top next time too. 
they were amazing without it. not necessary to include.}
8. bake 450* for 15 minutes or until they are golden on top.
serve with ranch or marinara.
whichever you fancy.
"when i shed my skin, i grow a mermaid tail. good thing i'm by salt water." -beth 
 i'm just so glad that liz and joe raised a beth:)

better than a toothbrush

i don't know why i haven't thought of this before.
better than a toothbrush.
little push of the soap,
swish of water through the faucet to get the suds going,
wipe away with a wet cloth.
ignore the chipped paint.
kids and stools=lost toes and chipped cabinet paint.
the 1st cabinet pic up there was actually the right hand cabinet i did second. 
i took a picture further away of both of them and it just didn't do the filth justice,
but i couldn't believe how clean it got the first one, 
so i went back and took pics of the suds and the cleaned cabinet of the 2nd one i did.
the first one i did was so much dirtier than the second one in the bottom two pics shown above.
i still can't believe how clean it got them.
i will forever clean my cabinets and baseboards this way.
 it worked on my baseboards too.
their idea not mine.
child labor at its finest:)
and i'm proud to report that this is an emily original special.
i saw my handheld bristle cleaner sitting on my kitchen sink this morning and thought,
why not?
is more like it.
faster and easier than any other way i've cleaned my cabinets.
and i've never cleaned my baseboards before,
but this was the golden ticket.
go buy one for yourself and every one of your kids.
or train your dog.
or cat.
if you don't have kids.
and get your cleaning army scrubbing.
we are doing one room a day for the next however many days there are rooms that we have.
did that make sense?
don't want to overwork or break a sweat here.
my cabinets and baseboards are sparkling.
there were some marks from toys that didn't come off.
they had more of a waxy texture to them.
like the blue color from the bottom of chase's teeter totter giraffe 
that had scuffed up on onto the baseboards by the couch.
so my worker bees and i either weren't scrubbing hard enough, 
or it needed something a little stronger than the dawn dish soap and water we were using.
maybe the magic eraser would do it for those target spots.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

if you ever get stung by a jelly fish...

chase peed all over my foot while i was taking off his shirt to put him into the bath with max.
like i was sitting there, 
and my foot felt like it was in a small luke warm pond.
but all wrong.
b/c i was in the bathroom with my feet on the cold tile floor.
and there was definitely not supposed to be a luke warm pond at my feet.
so when it finally registered in my brain what had actually happened,
i went into my bathroom to get a towel to wipe it up,
and i left chase and max in an empty tub full of bath toys.
boats that weren't floating,
super heroes and princesses that were half jammed into the empty plug-less drain,
foam letters and numbers sprawled all about,
and dried up loofah sponges dangling from the tub's spout. 
stuff like that.
only to return, 
towel in hand, 
to max squat peeing all over chase's back.
and chase putting his finger through the center of her jet stream.
spraying a waterfall down his chubby little arm.
smiles all around.
like there couldn't have been a happier baby on the face of the planet 
than chase in that very moment right then.
and the entire episode had me in an instant rolling fit of laughter,
covering my mouth with one hand,
the other one outstretched waving no,
trying to choke out some kind of a cue to get max to stop 
the events unfolding before my very eyes!
which i had halfway squished closed as if closing them would get her stop sooner.
my eyes.
and then right then i started imagining how i was going to tell chase 
about how max peed all over him in the bath that one time,
but not until he's like 16 with his girlfriend over for dinner for the first time, 
or something really horrific like that.
and all the while i was relaying the play by play to sean as it happened down the hall, 
as he was doing the day's dishes downstairs.
and i could hear him trying to choke out words through his laughing,
and he was all,
"what in the heck is going on up there?!"
and i was all,
"baaaaahahahahahaha bshhh, gack gack gack gack!!!"
because it didn't even require a response from me.
b/c we were both just laughing so hard with each other in completely different parts of the house, 
knowing exactly what was happening,
and that was enough of a response to justify exactly whatever else we could have said.
and i stood there staring at a pee soaked chase and an eyes wide open max,
and i couldn't help but think about how much
i love this crazy life of ours.
and then about how it was a really
good thing we were already going to take a bath.
totally convenient.
and about how at least we know who we want to be with us at the beach if we ever get stung by a jelly fish.

googley eyes compliments of linsey.
hours of entertainment.
go buy some.
i promise,
you won't regret it.
note: when googley eyes go through the washing machine,
they actually come out stickier than before they went through.
and it's like you have new ones all over again.