"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, April 1, 2011


after spending the entire day outside in the sun,
my first seed sprouted.
and i got a sunburn.
no joke.
no fooling.
just the plain truth.
i'm serious.
and some more freckles.
i hate walking around with a red face.
there's just something embarrassing about a sunburn.
time to break out the sunscreen.

the president of the utah blaze called and said we could have the all star suite for the game last night.
i'm still not fooling.
 he happens to be my father in law.
i give you,
president of the utah blaze.
bieber fell asleep in the car on the way home.
stayed asleep while we carried him into the house.
and continued to stay asleep while we took off his clothes,
changed him into jammies,
and brushed his teeth.
 no joke.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

who knew?

the mall.
cotton candy machine.
old fashioned candy shop.
and $5 sunglasses for me.
who knew?
now THAT'S how to spend a rainy cold, cold, wet day.

and wax lips.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

waving the white flag.

for the past two nights i have cried for half an hour after putting the kids in bed.
"it was his idea to potty train! not mine. he did it for two days! poo and all! nights and naps, no leaks. what kid does that!? it's a dream! amazing! i guess he really was ready!"
this is what i was saying in my head.
and then he decided he didn't want to anymore,
so he held his pee for 15 hours in defiance.
so much that as you recall, i thought it was a bladder infection.
it was not.
i figured he would just get over it.
b/c he loved his underwear,
and didn't want to wear a diaper.
didn't want to pee in a diaper.
he did not get over it.
so after three days of him holding his pee for 15 hours straight,
i am waving the white flag,
and have finally convinced him that diapers are cool again
i am both happy and sad.
happy b/c maybe we can have a life back again.
sad b/c man, i LOVED that he used the potty.
sad b/c i feel like i've failed.
maybe b/c i was too pushy?
this is always my biggest insecurity.
and for some reason,
it made me feel more like a real mom.
the kind that really knows what she's doing.
who's children listen to her.
pee in the potty.
sleep great.
never get sick.
never throw tantrums.
always eat their vegetables.
share with others.
are sweet and nurturing to their siblings all of the time.
sleep in every day.
have everything together.
a real mom.
whatever that is.
it doesn't exist.
that mom is just a figment of my imagination.
but some days it think she is there.
my kids get me instead.
and that's the best version of a mom i can offer.
and they are darn lucky to have me.
too pushy and all:)

Monday, March 28, 2011

sit! sit! sit! sit!

the sun did not shine.
it was too wet to play.
so we sat in the house
all that cold, cold, wet day.

i sat there with sally.
we sat there, we two.
and i said, "how i wish
we had something to do!"

too wet to go out
and too cold to play ball.
so we sat in that house.
we did nothing at all.

so all we could do was to
and we did not like it.
not one little bit.
spring snowy day.
baby with a runny nose.
and a toddler that won't pee.
which better than a toddler that pees everywhere.
less laundry.
summer is sounding very romantic right now.