"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Saturday, June 18, 2011

another one of those father's day posts {from yours truly}

dear dad,
you are my hero.
i adore you.
i really believe you can do no wrong.
happy father's day.
and thank you again for letting me borrow your ski mask.
and goggles.
last time we skied.
even though you were probably cold.
i love your rosy cheeks.
baby blue eyes.
and silver hair.
i love you,
your baby em
dear sean,
and i was like
i'm so glad you'll always be mine:)
watching you with our children takes my breath away.
i love to see your smile in max's face.
your eyes in brennan's eyes.
and your melow sense of humor in everything you do.
you make me want to be a better mother.
you change diapers.
you get up with kids on sundays so i can sleep.
you jump on the tramp with both kids and keep them entertained when you can see i need a break.
you try your very hardest to keep max out of the kitchen when i'm trying to make dinner.
it is so cute.
you teach brennan how to do man things.
football games,
being a gentlemen.
snow shoveling.
house cleaning.
and nose hair trimming.
you are a human jungle jim.
you show max how a woman should be loved.
you hold her.
you sing to her.
you rock her in the middle of the night.
you are wrapped around her teensy little finger.
and she loves you.
you tell me i'm beautiful.
you tell me you adore me.
you make me feel like the most important person on the planet.
i am so lucky to have you.
but the kids are even luckier to have you as their dad.
my love.
i love with you.
always and forever.
{the first night you became a dad}
the day we brought brennan home from the hospital.
we video recorded the entire drive home.
and i made you pull over twice on the way home to check on brennan.
we were so cheesy.
{baby max below, born Super Bowl Sunday}
you held her the entire game.
i don't remember anything about the game.
or seeing any of the commercials.
just sitting in the room with you holding baby max.
watching football.
and last,
a happy father's day to my
father in law WILD BILL,
grandfather ryan,
grandpa dick,
grandpa casper,
and grandpa mehr.
i am so lucky to have so many amazing men in my life:)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

and then we were all tired and grumpy

today brennan figured out that max will be his personal slave,
no questions asked,
whenever and for whatever he wants.
"max, i want my water."
max brings it over.
"max, i'm done with my water."
max takes it away.
"max, i want my water,"
max brings it again.
"max, i'm done."
max takes it away again.
and so on and so on.
this went on for ten minutes.
and no matter what she was doing she would turn around and walk over to give him his water and then carry it away for him.
it was pathetically cute.
i went to yell call at him to stop,
but she just seemed so happy bringing him his sippy cup of ice cold water.
my roses bloomed over night.
and while max took a nap brennan and i went on vacation in the backyard.
whereupon i learned he makes a fantastic laying out buddy.
i have never seen him so calm for such a long period of time.
and i quote,
"i like this mom. i warm."
when we got too hot we put our feet over the side of the pool and threw rocks in.
add it to the top ten favorite moments i've had with brennan.
 and then we were all tired and grumpy from being out in the sun all day.
and i declared to sean that i absolutely canNOT wipe max's nose one more time.
i told him
that i had to call poison control again
{weekly occurrence}
b/c when i called to ask the pediatrician how much allergy medicine max could have
{hoping this cold is just hay fever or whatever}
i found out that i've been doubling the dose brennan is supposed to get for the past two years.
so i've been double dosing him once a day for the entire time he's been taking it.
and when i joked with the nurse on the phone about him having that third arm and well,
"this would explain it,"
she didn't laugh.
she recited the poison control number.
to which i said,
"well, he's been fine this far, does it really matter?"
at which point she AGAIN did not think i was funny.
so i called my favorite number with all of the 2's in it,
and they took my name and number,
and told me to cut the dose.
but really,
he's been fine so far.
and all i really want is for max's runny nose to be allergies.
b/c i just cannot wipe her nose one more time.
but i can definitely put my feet in the baby pool.
for hours at a time.
it's a happy place:)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

cute like mine.

there were certain things about my body that i didn't like hated growing up.
i would stand in front of the mirror and obsess over them.
there was an overall self loathing.
and don't even get me started on the scale.
i looked at my kids today in their little swimsuits.
playing in the sun.
and the heat of june.
and i couldn't stop myself from thinking how cute their little bums were.
the little bits of this and that here and there.
and it got me thinking,
man, their stomach's are cute like mine.
their legs are cute like mine.
their arms are cute like mine.
their bums are cute like mine!
this body that i have.
that grew and born the two most beautiful bodies i have ever seen.
that fed and nourished these two tiny people.
{tiny is of course relative with brennan}.
and i couldn't believe i spent so long hating my body,
loathing my body,

that's perfectly cute like theirs.
and it's been that way all along.
lesson learned.

Monday, June 13, 2011

tomorrow: you'll find us in FRANCE

 good night.
for tomorrow we will be
my kids have colds.
in june.
i am ignoring the issue.
the show must go on.
and i thought about wiping the cart down after their sick little germs touched everything.
but then i forgot.
i wonder if the "thought counts" in this situation?
probably not.
about halfway through the store,
the show was over.
but i still had half of the list to get through.
and half a cart already full.
then it hit.
the moment where we had to just plow through,
despite the train wreck that would ensue.
we survived.
and i only had to carry one out on my hip.
my friend keri has the funniest analogy about this:
"being in the grocery store with a toddler is like being pregnant.
you don't think it is really going to be that bad.
b/c you forget how awful it is until you're in it,
and then there's just no getting out of it until it's over."
not that the entire thing is awful.
there's just that moment.
you know the moment.
where the only thing you want to do is flee.
now i go with two toddlers.
and definitely want to be pregnant again at some point in my life.
but really,
it's can't be THAT bad;)

  thank goodness for family night:)
germs and all.
the family yard hosted foods from around the world.
i brought enchiladas.
and ate Korean meat.
and Egyptian rice wraps.
with two helpings of troy's slushie homemade root beer.
brennan loves his "uncle" troy.
b/c really,
only great aunt carol cares that he's brennan's
1st cousin once removed.
or 2nd cousin.
or something.

 i just can't get over how much she reminds me of ET.
it's the walk.
you just have to see her walk.