"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Saturday, May 4, 2013

club for cool guys

{yep, they're doing what you think they're doing in my front flower bed.}
Cade: "Brennan, you have to come over tomorrow so we can play stuff cause that's our club."
Brennan: "What club? Like clubs for cool guys?"
Cade: "Yea, we have a club for us cool guys and we do stuff at our club."
Brennan: "We're cool guys and cool guys are in a club."
{the boys would play and then max would raise both of her arms up and shout with joy "batgirl! i LOVE her!" every time she saw her come on the screen.}
max is in their club most of the time.
except when she's not.
she cries.
and then one of them says she can be in their club.
and then hug,
and make up,
or max sometimes still goes and pouts.
i like it better when they make up.
and then everybody usually cries when it's time to go home.
and they try to count out how many sleeps it's going to be until they can play again next.
Brennan: "mom, i wish cade was my brother so he could stay all night and sleep here. i wish that cade was my brother so i could have two brothers. cade and chaser. so we could all be brothers together."
there's absolutely nothing better than a best friend.
at any age:)

Friday, May 3, 2013

sleeping beauty {with a bite}

{max at about 4 weeks old}
{max at 6 weeks old}
tonight i laid in max's toddler bed as her eyes drifted off to dreamland.
brennan was higher than a kite in the bed next to us.
i kept rolling over to give him a snap here and a "look" there.
finally i threatened to take away his blanket.
that worked for about 2 seconds.
i sang all of my favorite songs as i held her hand and watched her eyelids get heavier and heavier.
i usually lay with brennan,
but tonight he told me to leave halfway through baby beluga.
that's when i know he wants to be naughty and not go to sleep.
with the freedom to bounce his legs around and sit up fifty times in his bed.
even though i only ever move 2 feet away and over into max's bed,
he feels like he has that much more freedom to not go to sleep.
earlier today he asked me why i still had boobs, while i was on the phone with sandie.
and i was all, "b/c girls have boobs."
and then {pointing to my boobs} he was all, "but they don't have milk anymore."
and i was like, "girls still have boobs even without milk."
and he goes, "oh....boys don't have boobs. 
except for wrestlers. those guys have boobs."
we had a good laugh over that one.
oh the mind of how a 5 year old works out the world.

so i laid there staring at the most beautiful angel which is max tonight,
with stars glowing green and purple across the ceiling and walls of brennan and max's room,
and there beside me was this creature,
with the most perfect nose, 
and the most gorgeous long eyelashes 
that i have ever seen in my entire life.
i remember thinking that from the first day she was placed into my arms.
and i couldn't help but picture her as a brand new baby,
laying there in her toddler bed tonight.
i ran my index finger down the slope of her nose,
over and over and over again.
i kissed the side of her head,
right beside her closed eyes,
about a million times.
and i tried to pretend that she was only 3 weeks old again.
i put my fingers into her little 3 year old hand,
and she took a few short studdered breaths.
the kind you take when you are just barely drifting off into dreamland.
and then she let out one big long peaceful sigh and rolled onto her side,
and we were all of a sudden laying there face to face.
and she was fast asleep.
so close that our noses were almost touching.
i could smell her perfect little miss max state,
and i decided that tonight,
i would lay with her a little bit longer.
wishing that i could scoop her up and onto my shoulder,
b/c the last time i blinked she was laying just like that,
only she was a newborn again
laying on my pillow, 
cuddled up to my face.
swaddled in her little pink blanket.
and we were snoozing away the last few early hours of the morning together.
she still takes my breath away.
and right then and there i prayed that she would always feel this loved for her entire life.
and then i got up to kiss brennan,
and run my fingers through his super awesome thick brown hair.
i love the calm that comes with night.
{max bit brennan today. 
for the second day in a row. 
except today was different...poor chap.
maybe NOW he will learn to listen to her when she wants him to back off.
b/c i'm sure this was a bite he will never forget...LOL.
it's unmentionable.
we'll leave it at that.
yesterday there was an incident with needle nosed pliers that she initiated.
let's just say she was Abraham and brennan was Issac.
is it normal for siblings to strip the flesh off of each other on a DAILY basis?

Thursday, May 2, 2013

like peter pan with a bar of soap.

{i love polka dots.}
it never ceases to amaze me what a long chat, a good laugh, and full night's sleep can do for me.
i woke up this morning ready to conquer the world.
just when i feel like i can't take max and brennan stripping the flesh off of each other every second of every minute of every single day,
and i can't muster the patience to pull chase away from the computer tower one more time while i'm trying to make dinner,
it all changes.
and life gets easier again.
and i can breathe.
and the clouds lift,
the sun comes out,
and the warm of it all hits my face like a Hawaiian vacation.
unless you've never been to hawaii,
and then maybe it hits you like the utah sun in july.
when troy is running his ice cream machine and making slushies by the pool.
tiger's blood slushies:)
or when i'm sitting on my back patio with brooke sipping strawberry lemonade, 
and the kids are eating an entire bag of twin pops and jumping between two baby pools and the slip slide.
slathered in so much sunscreen that their bodies are glistening in the light of the sun.
or when linsey and i are sitting on the front porch steps and the sun it setting, we are braiding hair, and corralling kids out of the street when the cars go by.
like when sean and i have just bathed all of the kids, tucked them into their beds for the night,
with the hot july sun setting in the west and wasatch mountains glowing pink behind our house,
sunflowers towering over freshley mowed grass, 
i can almost smell the grass.
and the pumpkin plants have grown a jungle against our fence,
the tomatoes are hanging off of their branches,
the red jumping out from a mile away against their green leaves.
and the corn stalks are stretching up to the heavens, leaving their shadows behind them.
like peter pan with a bar of soap.
kind of like all of that:)

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Sunday, April 28, 2013

letters to Beth {tinker bell's house, 100-30-17, and backyard shenanigans}

{sean proposed to me in this very spot, under the flag pole on temple square 9 & 1/2 years ago, 
in front of about 300 people coming to see all of the christmas lights--it was dec. 5th. 
i remember i was SO embarrassed! i love LOVE love the story of it all. sean is my favorite:)}

dear beth,
we celebrated our anniversary all week this week, but especially this weekend, complete with rock climbing, shopping, dinner, and a movie on saturday night. today we decided to take the kids to temple square to show them where everything became official. you'll be happy to know that brenzie {my mom was trying to say "chase" today, and somehow that was what came out, we all laughed, and i declared it was SO them and pure genius on her part}---so brenzie did not pull any tulips out of the flower beds on temple square today, NOR did they steal any money from the fountains, despite the fears i expressed to you on skype chat earlier. we are so proud:) sean and some of his siblings were left unattended once when they were kids, and when bill and val came back, they found them stealing coins out of the fountain by the old meeting house. hoodlums i tell ya! HAHA! my children did however run around with no shoes on {b/c the raised grassy parts are just too enticing for bare feet}, and on our way out max sprinkled black sparkly cigarette butt sand all in her hair. who even knew they had ash trays on temple square. well, they do. obviously, so people will extinguish before they walk through. such a nice gesture which i so appreciate, it just not on my max radar. after a lot of brushing, picking it out like a mama monkey {minus the eating it part}, and a bath with two shampooings WITH brushing WHILE shampooing, there were still remnants of it when i combed through her wet hair before bed tonight. she also pooped in our grass today. yep you read that right. brennan came in declaring it, i of course was in denial about it, and max was proud of it. i can't decide if i'm more happy that she pooped in the grass and not IN the sandbox, or if i'm just mad that she pooped in the grass at all. my backyard neighbors were on their porch when it happened. they promised me they didn't see it, and couldn't stop laughing when they found out she did it {which is why we love and appreciate them so}. i made her do her own poop patrol with a plastic baggy inside out over her hand. i was mortified. we now have to sell the house and move. the shame is just too great. also, i think it's stupendously hilarious, so that's an element of emotion going on too. mostly, b/c as i was scolding her and putting a ziploc baggy inside out over her hand, i could only imagine teasing her about that very moment in front of every boy that walks through our front door. "hi, i'm emily, max pooped in the backyard once when she was 3. have a great night! and don't have sex or do drugs, thanks!" good grief, i'm just so relieved she did it in our yard and not over at someone else's house. COULD YOU IMAGINE!!?? i would just DIE. after she did her "patrol" we made her sit in time out and then had a LENGTHY talk about how boys can pee outside b/c they don't have to wipe, but NOBODY and i emphasized about a million times how NOBODY not even boys can poop outside. brennan was brought in for this part of the conversation too, just so we were ALL clear on the rules:) i didn't even go into the camping rules b/c i was afraid they would play "camping" and i'd find people burying their poop out back. we just left that one for ten years from now when somebody finally convinces me to camp again, and let's be honest, i'm not going camping if there's not running water and toilets at the campsite anyway. so then, just to make sure we were all clear, i had her tell me the rules: boys can pee outside if they're kids, but only b/c they don't have to wipe, girls have to come inside, even though it's not fair, b/c they have to wipe, and NOBODY {say it with me NOBODY} poops outside. let's hope that one is behind us. ok, i can't stop laughing. this is just 100-30-17 funny. that's how brennan explains anything that's "big" right now. he tells me "mom, i love you 100-30-17!", and "mom, you're 100-30-17 beautiful!" {that one is my favorite of the "100-30-17's"}, and then yesterday i put some mascara on for sean and my anniversary date night, and i got a "wow, mom, you're 100-30-17-18 beautiful!" BONUS:) i absolutely love it. anything that's good around here is titled "100-30-17." like dinner tonight was carne asada fajitas, and it was "100-30-17." that's how you know you've hit the jackpot. when they tell you it's "100-30-17." i just think it's about the cutest thing he's ever come up with! {can you end a sentence with "with"? i don't think you're supposed to...} 

the blossoms on our trees out front our blooming this week. they glow pink against the blue spring skies. i can't get enough. they lift me up when i look at them. it's breathtaking.

i am just so in love with life.
especially all of the people in my life.
and PIP my dear, i really love food.
of course:)
and i wish you were here eating food with me right at this very minute,
but it's 6:02am in Heidelberg, so i'm hoping that your boys are letting you sleep.
tell me about bryce's trip to ireland.
why is he there?
when does he get home?
how are you holding up?
i've always wanted to go.
i have a mommy and baby matching hat and scarf set from there that my parents brought back for me when they visited a few years ago.
a cream knitted scarf and hat for me,
and cream knitted baby hat and gloves for the kiddos.
so unbelievably darling.
plus, it reminds me of the shire, and i would just love to go there someday.

i hope your morning finds you well dear beth,
full of lovely breakfast and happy morning rituals.


when we got to the temple today, max pointed at it and said "that's where tinker bell lives!" yep, pretty sure she thinks that's Disneyland right there. alicia put it best when she said "the original happiest place on earth." and that's what i want my kids to know, that the temple really is the original happiest place on earth. i am so happy whenever i am there:) can you believe all of the beautiful colors right now? tulips will always remind me of our wedding day.

 {the blossoms popping on our trees out front. JOY!}
{max, just BEFORE "patrol"--happy monday, as it already is where you are.}