"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, April 13, 2012

letters to Beth {3 kids, night sweats, & fighting kids}

Dear Beth,
        I am so glad you finally got my package! I can't believe it took two weeks, but I am just glad it made it. That little lamb is so darling. I love it so much. Today was the first day where I was bored and agitated since having Chase. I chalk it up to the weather and no visitors. We just had a normal day at home. Brennan was whining all day and fighting with Max the rest of it. Fortunately, Chase still sleeps all of the time so I don't really feel like I have 3 kids yet. Just a little toy to play baby doll with all day. I particularly like to smooch his amazing cheeks. Sean says all during the night he hears me say "Chase, I love you. Chase you're so cute" when I'm up nursing. Since he pointed it out it now seems like a cliche when I say it, but he is right, I really do say those two lines over and over again. I can't help myself. He's just so wonderful. Max has been sick since Sunday. We have gone through soap like I go through water. You KNOW how much that is. I have been wearing two shirts so that I can take one off to hold Chase and put the other back on to hold Max. Her little germs are everywhere, and I look at her hands like they are poison, but I don't want her to feel that way, so it's been quite the juggling act. I'm worried that despite all of my efforts the bugs have finally caught up with Chase b/c he has a booger in his nose this morning and has been sneezing, and not just the newborn sneezes, as I know those are normal. Let's hope I am just being paranoid. We will keep anti-back-ing still the same.

        I just think you are amazing to nurse on such a strict diet for allergies. I admire you so much for being able to do that, AND you made my boring agitated state this morning smile and laugh over your conversations with croissants. Your banter is just so entertaining, and I wish for nothing more than for you to come home immediately and banter in my kitchen. I could really use those chocolate covered strawberries rolled in peanut butter cups right now. I think every person in my house today needs a nap, especially me. It appears the newborn honeymoon is not in affect as of this moment. Pity. I am so glad that you got your craving for chocolate fulfilled. I laughed really hard at Bryce saying they couldn't even be called cookies.

        Chase's hair looks blonde in the sun and red inside. It is definitely more red than blonde though b/c even in the sun you can see red kissed with streaks of sun kissed blonde. It is the most beautiful hair color you've ever seen, especially when it is all washed. We had his newborn pictures taken on Thursday, and I can't wait to see all of the prints. The photographer let me take one shot on my phone to take home. Click here to see it. He was so adorable and didn't pee or poop on any of us the entire time. There was one shot where I was holding him really close to my face, and I was VERY afraid that if he peed it would shoot me straight in the face. He was a good boy and didn't. Bless him. Now that I have oodles of milk he is a happy happy man all day and all night. It is wonderful. The new baby is always the easy one in the beginning if they are healthy and well fed. It is definitely the other two that are the most challenging when it comes to being a mother of 3. When the "bigs" fight and go stir crazy things get rough REAL fast. {pardon my misuse of grammar for effect/affect?}.

        I've had the night sweats with post birth this time. Did you have them? I got them with Brennan. Not with Max. I swear it makes the LB's come off faster. Nursing is my favorite thing on the planet. Not only do I get to sit down and relax every three hours for 20-30 minutes, but I get to eat everything and anything all day long. It is lovely, and I want to thank my body for being so good to me. It is truly amazing. I will say that it is still harder to recover from a 9lb baby than it is to recover from a 7lb baby, even when it is your third. The first three days were not too fun, and the epidural site hurt just as much as everything else b/c the anesthesiologist said I had small spaces between my vertebrae. I thought it was weird that the other two previous doctors never had problems with this AND never mentioned it either when they placed my epidural. He on the other hand just kept shoving and adding more numbing medicine to shove some more. I knew it was going to be sore the next day, but I was ever so grateful for the good block that he gave me, nonetheless. It is not as hard to get up and nurse in the middle of the night with Chase, and I've been taking afternoon naps when Max is down while Brennan plays computer games. He calls his games "dot com," and I think it's really cute. He is a great kid and is so sweet with Chase. Max likes to hit Chase on the head when I'm nursing and won't let her sit with us in the recliner b/c of her cold. Then she kisses him on the head and thinks everything is right again in the world. It makes me not happy. She doesn't really care that much.

        Despite my "whining-s" from today, I have been blissfully happy with our new addition. I could not have imagined a smoother transition, and know it will not last, but am enjoying it while it lasts. But am secretly hoping it will last forever, all at the same time.  The weather has been wonderful until today, and we have all been happier for it. The "bigs" have been out on the tramp {which Sean and my dad set back up after we brought Chase home}, playing in the sandbox, and going down the slides all week in the backyard. My weeds are growing like wildfire, and I just hope I can motivate myself to plant all of the seeds I bought at Macey's a few weeks ago. Chase is the sweetest little baby, and I adore him for sleeping great at night, and being very low maintenance during the day. He has the cutest little face. Brennan adores him, and calls Chase "his baby." When he wants to hold him he always reminds me that he needs to wash his hands so he doesn't get him sick with germs. Then he sits and holds him, and kisses him on the head so softly that I feel like I will burst with pride and joy. Max wants to be his mommy, and pretend cries whenever Chase cries, pointing at him so that we know Chase needs our help. I gave in and let her hold him a few days ago after washing her hands and making her promise she wouldn't touch his face. She was in heaven...and then she coughed right on his face. I'm awesome, I know:). Sean is still changing diapers for me at night, and I love him for doing it. Whenever he is home he is helping with the kids and Chase. I sure lucked out!!! He is the greatest dad and husband.

        I am going to attempt making dinner for the first time tonight since having Chase. Pizza/soda night. If the kids are still cranky we will be bagging it and going to Little Cesar's. Pray for me!

Hope the lotion works out!
So glad Bear loves his Binky Buddy!
Tell the croissants you're coming in T-minus ____ months!
And keep on the hunt for better ways to get your chocolate cravings...maybe bananas are not the right thing to mix with it?

Tell me all about Smith's school. I want to know everything about the first day. What he did, how it went, what he wore, how you did with him being gone, etc. Exciting times!

Love you,

letters to Emily {packages, binkies, & allergies}

My Dear Emily mother of 3,
Wow, three kids! You are amazing! And Chase is one cute boy if I say so myself! He has blonde hair?  I love it. Anyway, life here is going well. We got Bear's allergy test back and boy oh boy, he is allergic to pretty much everything under the sun. Soy, dairy, wheat, egg, nuts, potatoes (uncooked), I think that is it. But hazelnuts scored the highest on the allergy chart, he wasn't too allergic to peanuts so I hope he won't have to be the kid that eats at a separate table in the cafeteria during lunch. Bad news is I can't eat any of those things while nursing for a while, we are going to see a specialist in a few weeks and go from there. So I have been to the Asian food store and the natural food store to get a lot of allergy free food. I made a trip to five different stores to find allergy free chocolate, but with no avail I couldn't find any. That is okay. But I did find cocoa so I made chocolate banana oatmeal cookies, I used banana, natural sugar, cocoa, and baking soda. They turned out good, not great, but good. Bryce thought they were the sickest things on the planet and he told me they could not be called cookies. I laughed so hard when he took a bite from my cookie, but I ate them anyway, and they fed the craving for chocolate, I was happy. Some good news....I got your package today!!!!!! I was so excited, it felt like Christmas, I ripped the package open with my teeth. rather barbaric, and I put his cute little lamb on his Binky.... heaven! I will try the lotion tonight and tell you about it, but it does look mighty fine. Thank you so so so so much!! You are the best! Smith starts his school next week! I am so excited, it will be an adjustment though. You just get so used to their cute little faces during the day, it will be really good for him though. His teacher called me and told me how excited she was to have Smith in her class. That made me happy.
Before this allergy fiasco, I was in search of the most delicious croissant in Heidelberg, and I found it. A chain bakery called Grimminger. They have two kinds of croissants. Butter and Laugen. The Laugen is to die for. When I pass it now I just look at it as it calls my name, (we are on a first name basis), and it even talks to me. It says, "Beth, hello, I am so flaky on the outside and so tender and soft on the inside. I am baked to perfection and someone else in Germany is going to enjoy me today. Sorry it can't be you." See, the Laugen Croissant is nice even when I can't consume all his glory in my mouth.
How are things with three?
How is Chase?
How is post birth body?
How are your kids handling it?
Is Sean in heaven?
Tell me all about it!! I love you and hope you are so happy on this Spring day!
love you

Thursday, April 12, 2012

just be

i'm so happy:)
i have wanted to be a mother my entire life.
and on the good days there is nothing more intoxicating than watching my children just be.
just be little ninja's with ribbons around their heads from gifts brought over for chase.
doing "cowa-punch" kicks to fight off the bad guys.
having talent shows in the big room.
showing us how to "rock it."
having races around the kitchen table.
having really loud burps and then spitting up all over himself and me,
only to have a face of absolute and utter relief.
like it was the best burp of his 10 day old life.
b/c it probably was.
having perfectly warmed milk send him into a state of utter drunkenness.
laying curled up on my chest,
sweet little noises of newborn chase.
singing twinkle twinkle little star and baby beluga to brennan,
running my fingers through his hair as he doses off into dreamland.
with sean making max giggle in the room next door.
warming my feet on sean's side of the bed after nursing chase in the middle of the night.
with a quiet house and eyes that i can hardly keep open.
i have wanted to be a mother my entire life.
and it is the greatest life i could have ever imagined.
to just be
a mother.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

while i was nursing...

"sand party."
that's what they said.

the leaky faucet

{after i took this she said "NO!" in a high pitch and shot spiderwebs at me.}
 this one up there is sick.
chase might be on the counter for two weeks.
good thing he's not my first
or that would be illegal.
it's a good thing she's cute.
that is what i heard sean say when he took her downstairs last night around 10pm to cuddle.
b/c max & sick=DRAMA.
it's cute.
until it's not.
poor thing.
her nose is a leaky faucet.
this one down there officially has my heart.
and hopefully not max's leaky faucet.
brennan has never been sweeter than he is with baby chase.
i'm so
with this little man.
spring babies.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

we survived

{while i was nursing...}
yesterday i was crying by 6am.
chase and max were up the entire night.
it wasn't pretty.
i forgot how hard it is to get to know a new person.
who knew babies cried when they were hungry?
yeah, we're super smart at 3am.
after 4 hours of sleep i decided to NOT kill the cat.
good thing too.
the humane society would not have been pleased.
then the good lord above graced me with summer weather AND 2 kids that didn't fight the entire day.
in fact,
they jumped on the tramp and spent the day outside in the backyard.
on what planet has that ever happened on a day that ever mattered?
that's what day.
and it was glorious.
my cousin andrea brought us milkshakes,
and the neighborhood came alive with kids to play with and neighbors to chat.
i read a chapter of my book on the couch,
looked around my house,
and saw sleeping baby chase,
with two happy kids playing popcorn on the tramp.
everyone got fed.
everyone got their teeth brushed.
and it only took until 3:30pm to do it.
AND i got a shower.
go us:)
i wish every day could be as good as today.
now about these nights...

Monday, April 9, 2012

clothing optional

who knew that something so silly
could be
for the next 4-6 weeks:

1. everybody fed
2. everbody's teeth brushed
{clothing optional}
{me included}

it's my due date

the greatest doctor on the face of the planet:
dr nielson
greatest husband on the face of the planet.
fattest baby i've ever had.
for coming out fast.
good baby:)
right after i delivered chase,
nurse jodi and nurse laura kept saying,
"wow, that's a big baby!"
i assured them,
it wasn't as big as my first.
{i had very confident hand gestures to go with my comments too. very believing. third time moms know it all, you know.}
and so i told them,
"my first was 9.4, HE was big, this baby is not as big."
while chase got some oxygen to "pink up" they continued to comment on how THIS was a big baby. look at those cheeks!" 
{he does have great cheeks.}
i again made sure they knew
he wasn't that big,
brennan was big!
this baby was not that big.
{did you get that he wasn't that big?}
and then they moved him to the scale.
and i heard sean,
"OH!! OH!! WOAH!!! WOAH!!! he's bigger than brennan!!!"
and dr. nielson and i looked at each other with our mouths dropped wide open.
so much for brennan being big.
chase wins.
by 2 ounces.
2 weeks earlier than brennan.
the nurses were right.
i feel much better about how i couldn't get around that last week.
and losing over ten pounds in less than 10 minutes.
that was really great.
b/c there was one big fat baby inside of me.
i asked dr nielson that if there is a next time,
could we do he/she at 38 weeks instead?
good grief, he was 9.6 at 39 weeks!!!
he just shook his head in disbelief.
and told me to just be happy we didn't go to 40 weeks.
the kid measured right on at every visit.
i guess i just make huge boys.
that measure right on.
good thing my pelvis is
the morning before...
we should have known all along!
worth it.
SO worth it.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

rabbit race {an egg hunt & feast}

they filled their buckets until they couldn't carry them anymore.
and then we unloaded them, and they went back for more.
brennan wanted the green ones.
max wanted the pink ones.
and squealed when she found the glitter ones.
it was so warm that the chocolate treats inside of the eggs melted.
i put one in sean's mom freezer and forgot it there.
 chase was the life of the party.
my mother in law has a honey glaze that will knock your socks off.
i don't like ham.
and i LOVE THIS HAM of hers.
you had ham right?
we went home fully fed.
and fully exhausted.
i all of a sudden got tired.