"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, February 8, 2013

"tree" {max's bday}

max woke up asking for whipped cream in her mouth and presents.
after breakfast brennan told max "you're birthday's over now, my birthday is next!"
and then spent the entire rest of the day asking when his birthday was going to be,
and if i ordered him a cake too.
she did this excited gasp when she opened each present,
and stacked an entire sheet of stickers on top of each other to wear all at the same time.
she wanted her hair in a "punzel" {rapunzel} braid after her bubble bath.
and picked to wear her mermaid shirt, new tutu, black pants, and sparkle shoes for the day.
after lunch she ordered a pink milkshake at the ice cream counter,
brennan picked peanut butter {he is my kin}.
she walked around the house saying "it's my birf-day" to herself all day with a little smile on her face.
and was too shy to blow out her own candles on her "punzel" {rapunzel} cake.
we put them to bed after all of the grandparents went home,
and she woke up crying around 11:30pm for the second night in a row,
saying brennan hit her in her crib.
even though he was snoring in his bed.
pesky nightmares.
so i brought her downstairs and rocked her back to sleep.
i sat there staring at her,
amazed at how much she has grown.
my tiny baby max.

dear max,
you love pink.
little mermaid and Rapunzel are your favorite princesses.
you also love "bave" {brave}.
you love to play in your room in your doll house and kitchen.
especially with the door closed.
you get mad when chase is napping and you can't go in.
you wink with your right eye and then raise both of your eyebrows up and down at just the right moment.
it is HILARIOUS!!!
your favorite food is scrambled eggs and peanut butter toast.
you ask for eggs at 3pm a lot.
you will eat 3 bites of a dessert, get full, and say you're all done.
we are all amazed at you "off button."
at dinner you usually eat your vegetable and then we have to bribe you to eat your entree.
we always joke that we could make one plate of food for you and brennan to share b/c you will eat the vegetable and he will eat the entree.
you want everyone to "pay" {play} with you all day long.
especially on the potty.
you always want to pick out a handful of princesses and super heroes to bring to the potty,
and then you say "you be dis, i be dis" and hand them out.
you love to be outside.
you are REALLY REALLY good at hide and seek.
especially the hiding part.
you don't move a muscle,
even when we close the door and turn off the lights.
you hide behind the laundry room door or under the coats in the bathroom every time you go to the potty.
you love your binky.
you love "bow-way" {ballet} and tap.
you ask everyday if it is "bow-way" day.
you wear your ballet shoes all day every day, and sleep in them too.
you like to do things by yourself.
you want your hair braided, but you hate getting your hair brushed.
i ask you if you want to cut your hair everyday b/c you hate it so much,
you get mad and say "NO!!!!"
you love to brush other people's hair.
you love all things grown up and girly.
you love to dance and can sing the chorus to phillip phillip songs.
you ask me to sing the "ariel" song almost every night at bedtime {"look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"}.
you want a bath every day.
chase thinks you are the cat's meow.
you whimper when you walk up to a potty without a child seat on it.
every time.
you ripped every page of the lion king book last week in your crib.
i taped every page back together.
dad was so impressed.
you love to color at the table.
i can take you anywhere and know you will sit and be quiet the entire time.
even while i'm getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist.
it is amazing to me.
brennan is your best friend.
you fight with him a lot too.
you get offended REALLY easily.
you huff and puff and fold your arms when you're mad.
you charge people and get in their face to intimidate them.
brennan forgets he is twice your size when you do it.
it's funny FUNNY to watch.
we always scold you and then laugh about it later.
you are animated with your personality.
you love barney.
you follow brennan around and play super heroes and princesses with him all day.
when you use a stool you always push it into our feet.
i just get out of the way now b/c i've lost so many toes.
you love to be with me.
i love it. 
you love to read books in your bed by yourself before you go to sleep.
and always want toys to sleep with you.
lately, you've been throwing every stuffed animal and blanket out of your crib in the middle of the night.
you love it when dad comes in and hold your hand through your crib bars in the middle of the night when you are sick.
you still sleep in a crib,
and have never climbed out.
we love it.
you get nightmares when you don't sleep in the same room as brennan,
and for the past two nights have had nightmares that brennan is hitting you.
he is not.
you know what you want.
it is hard to convince you otherwise.
you are shy.
people always tell me you look like a porcelin doll,
and will stop me in the store to tell me.
almost every time we go out.
sometimes it scares me how beautiful you are.
you love to sleep and ask to take a nap on most days.
sometimes i let you.
i love you, love you, love you!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

it was magic

3 years ago tonight i put my almost 2 year old brennan to bed for the last time as an only child.
i was completely prepared and amped up to have a screaming baby that never slept, with no breast milk  and a 2 year old to care for on top of it all.
i was scared.
what we got was the most perfect little angel girl god ever made.
that never cried.
always slept.
and had more milk to drink than anything i could have ever imagined.
it was magic.
and i drank in every single second.
brennan was older when we came home from the hospital.
and not just by 2 days.
i remember thinking he looked so huge when we came home and too big for a binky {but that didn't keep me from letting him keep it for another two years--you're only little once}.
that was the year of the horrendous H1N1 scare, so no one under the age of 12 could even come to the hospital.
i called the hospital at 6am that morning in the dark, standing in my kitchen, waiting to hear if my induction was still on. when the nurse told me brennan couldn't come to see us in the hospital i started to sob.
i blame pregnancy hormones entirely.
i still remember how the lights made the kitchen look when i was standing there crying on the phone.
i don't remember what the nurse said after that at all.
i remember we blew the fuse in our apartment when i was drying my hair, and it turned all of our power off.
sean had to climb through the cold storage to flip the breakers to get the power back on.
and i started getting all nervous and snappy with him.
he always knows how to calm me down with a swift dose of perspective.
i love him.
then we hit every red light on the way to the hospital.
i was chomping at the bit.
and we got there fifteen minutes late.
and even though i was completely NOT in labor i still had that little miss max in my arms 5 hours later.
it was amazing.
3 pushes and 6 minutes.
i remember dr. nielson laid her on my chest right after i gave birth, and her little soft cry was instantly quieted when i brushed my fingers next to her left eye.
she had me at hello.
it was magic.
she was so calm.
so sweet.
she looked like a skinny brennan,
so tiny, 
so delicate,
with pink rosy cheeks, pouty lips, a little button nose, and george castanza hair.
that looked red in the light.
sean took my most favorite newborn picture before she was even 30 seconds old.
i couldn't wait to put an obscenely large bow on her head and paint her little toes.
then the nurses weighed her and dr. nielson couldn't believe that i had guessed her birth weight right down to the ounce.
i was so proud.
i felt amazing and back to myself within 4 hours, even with an epidural.
it was amazing.
sean held her wrapped up in the hospital blankets all afternoon while we watched the super bowl on the tv in my room.
it was a sunday.
super bowl sunday.
it was magic.
i wish i could do it all over again.
click here for the before. 
and here for the after {ignore the obscenely large headband that overdid the bow. have mercy....lol}
happy birthday little miss max.
i can't believe you're going to wake up tomorrow and be 3.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

PTSD {skull and cross bones}

i have self diagnosed PTSD from this cold and flu season.
it's making me a little punchy.
or jumpy.
brennan lost his voice today.
and after listening to him cough/sniffle "kind of" for the last few weeks on and off, 
i decided, really, what's one more visit at this point.
so i told him he could bring his batman valentine cards with us, and that we'd get a treat after.
they ran the good ol' pulse ox that we remember OH so dearly from 4 years ago.
but the lost voice and barky cough had them thinking croup.
just think asthma attack,
minus the asthma.
in the middle of the night.
that's my best description for you.
the throat swells up when they're coughing {usually kids outgrow it around age 6-7}.
and it's just REAL{ly} scary.
remedy: cold air, humidity, and steroids.
so being a little punchy/jumpy i decided to just go for the steroid b/c it can only help, even if it's not croup.
they crush it up, and mix it with cherry syrup.
brennan burst into tears when he tasted the it, but swallowed it nevertheless.
the doc told me it really is the most awful tasting thing on the face of the planet.
and then he said that this is the busiest their office has been in ten years.
b/c there has never been a cold and flu season year as bad as this since then.
illnesses coming out of the woodwork and overlapping on top of each other like nothing they've seen before.
we could be their poster child.
or poster family.
just put the skull and crossbones on our front door.

all in favor of JUNE 1st tomorrow say "EYE".
{i know that's not how it's spelled. do you get it?}

Monday, February 4, 2013

only when it's tactful

this weekend was warm.
40* warm.
the inversion is back,
but the sun is shining where we live.
at the pediatrician's office on friday there was a kid that came in wearing shorts, snow boots, and a sweatshirt. i laughed b/c that is something i would totally let my kids wear right now too.
b/c 40* and sunny feels like 65*.
really, it does.
i swear.
{but only when it's tactful.}
so today max and brennan are out swinging, sliding, and playing in the sandbox.
with unzipped coats, no gloves, and no hats.
except i think it's only about 30*.
i spent the weekend putting drops in chase's ears and max's eyes.
and rotating everyone's motrin and tylonel.
minus brennan and sean who continue to be immune.
lucky dogs.
so far max is the only person in the pink eye posse.
i'm still holding my breath.
chase's ears healed without a hitch!
we are thrilled.
too bad he's still waking up ALL NIGHT LONG.
a bottom tooth has been trying to pop out this weekend.
i love rocking him in the middle of the night when the house is all asleep,
with his warm little body snoring on my shoulder.
but i would LOVE it if he didn't wake up too.
b/c the 2am shift and the 6am shift have our heads spinning by morning when brennan comes in bright eyed and bushy tailed before the sun has even really come up.
i know this is just a season in our life.
and i'm grateful for it.
b/c i just love having a baby around the house.
but man, a full night's sleep just sounds like the most glorious thing out there right now.
knowing me, i'll get some sleep and miss being up in the night with chase.
this week's plans:
order max's cake
more sunbathing in my snow coat
make max's birthday crown
make lists for valentine's things in my head
think about writing my lists in my head down on paper
{below: sun bathing in my snow coat}
{below: chase snoring on my shoulder}
 favorite quotes from the weekend:

brennan {in timeout for hitting chase}: "i am mad at you. i'm gonna go nuts at you! that means REALLY crazy."

max {when i was trying to put her eye drops in yesterday for the 100th time}: "just let my eyes fall out!!!!!" b/c clearly that would be better than getting rid of pink eye with the drops.

brennan {after he asked if we could buy him smash brothers wii game--we said no}: "i need a job!" {and then he tried to bust open his pirate piggy bank. unsuccessfully, hehe}

brennan {while washing his hands in the bathroom this morning}: "do you know when you're a teenager you go to high school? yep, i'm going there next year with cade. to high school. where you get to get your own food. there's table there. where you sit. with your own food. and it's a "whittle" scary b/c sometimes there's mean high schoolers who want to beat up kids that are 4 (shows me 4 fingers on his hand). yep, next year cade and me are going." LOL!!! he totally thinks they are going to the high school next year for "big school."

brennan {out of the blue}: "i'm going to cade's house on vacation!" after i texted cade's mom brennan's vacation comment, she texted back to me that last time brennan was over he told cade that he was at a beach house. cade asked what that was, and brennan told him that was "vacation."

brennan {while i was helping him get dressed for church yesterday}: "after church let's go to the lake house." {my parents have a lake house that we go to in the summer.} my dad replied with "how about next weekend?" yessssssss pleasssssseeee:)

and that my friends is how to make your monday a happy one.
reading the thoughts of an almost 3 and 5 year old.
they hilarious little people!!!
over and out.