"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

the year of the "talk boy"

tonight i dragged my family to REI.
i've never wanted something so badly that i just didn't go out and purchase.
this whole budget thing is tough work.
i've done my research on my prized item.
i've pushed said item around the store on multiple occasions.
i see them at the zoo.
at discovery gateway.
in the airports.
i love this stroller.
santa, are you reading this???
the scout master is home for thanksgiving break and mama C is here from the land of aloha.
i was so excited to have mom and sean push the pork loin around in THE stroller.
i wanted them to see how light weight it is.
how you can change the incline position of the back support for each child!
one child can lay down, the other can sit up.
how the sun visor can be down for one and up for the other.
i wanted to show them the cup holder attachment.
the infant car seat attachment.
the brake.
the storage bin underneath!
the big, beautiful wheels!
and where was the dang thing?!
up in the lofts.
one in the entire store, completely out of my reach.
just as it is right now in reality, i guess.
i wanted the store keeper to bring it down so badly.
i knew i wasn't buying it today.
i just wanted to feel it in my hands!
to push it around.
oh, swivel wheel, i love thee.
and then,
i took pity.
i didn't demand that he take down the stroller.
i smiled and said,
"ok, no problem."
and what have i been whining about the entire night?
how the salesman didn't insist that he get it down for me.
how he didn't want to get it down, so i could stroll around the store with my hopeful stroller to be.
how if he only knew how badly i wanted to test that stroller tonight, he would have gotten it down.
"it's my red rider BB gun!"
i wanted to shout.
but i didn't.
i thought it though.
for now i am sitting here looking up at you, dreaming of the possibly that you might just be mine after a bountiful birthday and christmas next month.
this feels just like that christmas where i wanted the home alone talk boy...
that was a great christmas.
i think sandie searched every store in the state of california so my stepsister, stepbrother, and i could each have one.
the excitement has me feeling like i'm 10 again.
in a really good way.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

she grew

just took this.
can't believe this was only a week ago.
i guess she grew!
or i did.
*child was napping, otherwise i'm sure he would have been at his tv spot for the 28 week shot. oh well. better luck next time.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Dr. N says i'm boring.

on dec 2nd i'm wishing and hoping to wake up to snow.
it came true once when i was in elementary school.
i jumped out of bed to look out my window.
i had put lots of stickers on my window.
quite a little collection it became.
i remember there was a unicorn with a rainbow.
and lots of others too.
thank you mom for letting me:-)
i bet those were a pain to get off when we moved out of that house.
i'll try to remember to let my kids do those kinds of things.

even if it doesn't match their rooms.
when i peaked through the stickers i saw the only present i remember for my birthday that year.
last night it snowed.
let's hope it was a sign of good things to come,
wink, wink mother nature!

and then we went inside,
put the pork loin in jammies,
put ourselves in jammies,
read books,
and went to bed.
a really good sunday night.
we had a pre-thanksgiving dinner before the snow.
or maybe it was during the snow.
it was with the cousins.
have you ever put butter in your turkey while it cooks?
my cousin does.
it makes the white meat better than the dark.
a feat i thought was previously impossible.
so come thursday,
stuff that bird full of butter.
you won't be disappointed.
like i was when i woke up to hives all over the pork loin's upper half.
we're talking hundreds people, hundreds.
itchy, red, splotchy hives.
it was sad.
1 tsp of benedryl (you know i don't buy the name brand, it was equate) later and the pork loin was stumbling around like a man who had just downed a bottle of tequila.
i fed him a pb sandwich, and then he took a nap.
a really long one.
mama nacho (grandma gibson) came to take over while i hustled to Dr. N's.
this is where he informed me that i am boring.
i have few to zero questions.
other than,

"i'm drinking dr. pepper once a week. ok, maybe it's twice."

so maybe it's a statement more than a question, but he still answered it like a question.

"fine with that."

it's not that i already have the answers or know everything there is to know,
it's just that i'm not reading anything this time around.
i'm not googling.
it's much more peaceful this way.
my blood pressure is normal.
i'm measuring normal (this is not normal for me).
everything is normal.
this makes me happy.

REALLY happy.

i've never been so grateful to hear the word "normal."

and "boring."

even though i still think "normal" is a made up word.

there is just no such thing as normal.
believe it, you'll be happier if you believe it.

so when he says,
"you're boring."
he actually means it as a compliment.
and that is just how i'm going to take it;-)