"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, June 12, 2015

she wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny BLUE polka dot bikini {i've got rituals}

                                    {9.4lbs}                                                                   {7.14lbs}

                                       {9.6lbs}                                                               {??? lbs}

when you've been induced 
four times,
you come to have 
#1-get the hair colored and cut
#2-get pedicure
#3-take the bikini pic
and those my friends,
are my rituals.
my favorite one of them all is the bikini pic.
and i owe it all to my mama who started it.
there is nothing that brings me more pride and joy than comparing these 
pictures over the years when it comes to being pregnant.
and now that my kids are getting older they LOVE it!
and i love showing them to them.
also, the many hairstyles of emily kathleen are documented.
so that's pretty fantastic.
i love remembering and seeing the way i looked right before delivery, 
remembering the nerves, the excitement, the feelings of accomplishment,
and trying to guess how big the baby will be from looking at the pics the night before.
even though sean assured me tonight that this is NOT a scientific predictor of baby weight,
and he thinks my well wishes for an 8 pounder are historically out of the question.
to him i say,
we shall see my friend,
as it DID predict chase would be bigger than brennan.
even if it was only by .2 ounces, i'd say it did in fact show us he would be.
there you go.
decide for yourself,
that's all i'm sayin'.
and now,
ladies and gentlemen,
drum roll please....
i give you,
the woman who started it all!
Grandma Carol,
with ME in her belly,
in a bikini,
on her due date.
emily be white.
carol be tan.
aint no pregnant ladies be braver than us;)
2 legit 2 legit 2 quit.
yeah yeah!
and now,
for the record,
let it be known,
and going against my better judgement,
i'm guessing, 
based off of my 
very scientific 
picture comparing prediction methods,
that this baby will be..... 
8lbs and 14 ounces.
{or 9.11, whichever. i get two guesses 'cause i just do.}
it's officially been placed on the betting books.
and now it's your turn!
place your bets folks.
'cause it's GO TIME:)

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

2 more sleeps.

just keep swimming.
just keep swimming.
just keep swimming.
max graduated from pre-k today.
she was beaming.
god bless miss monica.
i don't think max will ever take off the friendship bracelet she made for her.
i did that once with a necklace a boy made me at sleep away summer camp.
we smooched in the bushes.
just on the lips.
i'm pretty sure our camp counselor and all of the other kids watched.
and made fun of us for it for the rest of camp.
sleep away camp was THE BEST!
and not just for the smooching in the bushes in the hundred degree heat.
the waterskiing and the horseback riding were my favorite.
by the end of the 2 weeks i was doing all of the horse vaulting where you stand up on the horse's back and ride around all fancy.
i had this green trunk i brought.
and we slept on bunk beds.
and we put on the little shop of horrors play the very last night.
i played the bag lady and sang the opening song.
top 5 of my favorite childhood memories was that 2 weeks at sleep away camp.
man oh man,
i literally wore that yarn necklace that gave made for me around my neck for the ENTIRE year of 6th grade.
seems pretty gross now,
but it was beyond awesome back then:)
and then i deemed a song from the forest gump soundtrack "our song".
the one that went like "sugar pie honey bunch, you know that i LOVE YOU! i can't help myself, i love you and nooooobody else {dun dun DUN DUN}."
do you know it?
he was my fake boyfriend that entire year of my first year of middle school.
back when there was no facebook or instagram to connect you to people.
those were the days.
the good old days!
i've officially become that lady who tells her kids about the good ol' days.
my favorite part of the whole thing was when they did a little number with the charleston in it.
every time the chorus part came around, they bent down and did their little charleston moves.
nobody does a Charleston like max.
TOP NOTCH and dead on the beat every time.
who knew?!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

i think we're gonna make it {brennan's baby belly}

i didn't feel pregnant for 2 whole hours.
my kids literally had to DRAG me out of the pool last night.
just keep me in the pool until saturday please:)
also, please note:
i live with the funniest humans.
brennan's baby belly.
my baby belly.
4 more sleeps.
i think we're gonna make it guys.
{thanks for the bikini audrey. god bless you.}

Monday, June 8, 2015

to my lolly pop {a letter to max}

dear max,
i LOVE watching you dance.
you had the biggest smile on your face,
and you could just tell that you love to be dancing.
it's so fun to see you doing something that you love.
at age 5.
sometimes i just want to pinch myself because i can't believe i get to watch something so beautiful as you.
you were most excited to wear makeup.
you always want to know what makeup i'm putting on you.
the powder.
the pink eye shadow.
mascara next time.
that's what you decided.
then we curled your hair.
i burned your little left arm so badly that your tears washed off most of your make up.
i felt so badly.
we put a cold wet towel on your arm,
and dad got you an ice pack.
for sure i've traumatized you for life.
i showed you the scar i have on my forehead from when i was in 7th grade and burned my head curling my bangs with my cordless curling iron.
you never forget your worst curling iron burns.
by the end of the night you said it didn't hurt anymore and told me how you showed all of your dance friends your burn.
i'm still just so sorry!
you said it's ok.
you might not be getting a sister, but i swear to you, you're getting something way better,
and that's brothers.
because when it comes to brothers,
you've hit the jackpot.
nobody has better brothers than you.
they clapped for you,
yelled "GO MAX!" when you walked out on the dark stage,
and brennan told you at dinner after that he loved all of the dances,
but YOURS was by far the best.
i thought this was so so cute.
chase smooched you on the lips.
brennan said no way,
but you could tell he was so proud that HIS sister 
was the best little lolly pop he'd ever seen up on that stage.
we ate mexican take out,
and then dad took you and chase to the mcdonald's drive through for vanilla cones in a thunder and lightening storm {you wanted shave ice, but we had to knix it b/c of the storm},
while brennan and i stayed home to clean up toys in the big room and read books because he was too scared the car was going to get struck by lightening and kill us all.
my favorite part of your outfit was the little sparkly pink hats positioned off "slightly right" as we were instructed to do, along with the hot pink 80's finger gloves.
your little leap across the stage and partner bit were my favorite parts.
after dinner, you wrote miss emalia a third letter telling her how much you love her,
put it in an envelope,
with your name, her name, and about 500 stickers on top.
you had me put your rose in water that brennan gave you,
and then we all went to bed late.
i'm so glad we all got to be there to watch you.

Sunday, June 7, 2015


sunday night sack races at the family yard.
i'm so glad it's summer,
i can hardly stand it:)
i love my cousins,
and this greatest place on earth.
also, chase pooped in the potty,
so i was basically feeling like a million bucks the rest of the night after that.
the end.

just trying to be free from it all, and out into that sun.

i needed the tv turned off saturday morning,
and i wanted the kids outside.
so i made them all grab a plastic bag, and we sat down to pull some weeds.
we talked about rolly polly bugs and how they are crustaceans and not insects.
you learn things like this when you take zero period marine bio senior year.
there was a LOT of whining.
and at one point everyone wanted the giant orange bag that max had,
and chase and max had a full on brawl to fight for it.
9 month heavy with child emily just didn't have the gusto to do anything other than take pictures of it all.
they might actually be my favorite kid pictures of all time.
i can't stop laughing still. 
max won,
chase found a bucket,
and brennan and i talked more about bugs and spiders,
and he told me everything he learned this year about caterpillars and butterflies at school.
and i was just so glad that i made us all go out and pull weeds in the garden for an hour together.
it was worth all of the whining,
and fighting,
just to sit there and talk about bugs with brennan.
and watch max run back and forth in her elsa nighty helping chase learn which ones were pumpkins and sunflowers, and which ones were seeds.
god bless max.
also, the flower beds looked a lot better after,
and i felt pretty awesome that the corn was now completely free from that darn morning glory that loves to choke it right at the roots.
i showed my kids how amazing it is to watch the green beans push their way up 
through the hard cracked dirt.
lifting their heads straight for the sun.
it never ceases to amaze me how strong one little seed can be.
and when i'm out there in my garden i start thinking about life, and analogies,
and really deep stuff like that because it's just peaceful out there, and you have time to think about that kind of stuff.
like how strong we can be,
especially if we're pulling the weeds away from around us,
just trying to get free from it all,
and out into that sun.
amazing i say.
and so i told brennan about this as i was thinking about it,
because he was the lucky weeder sitting beside me in the shade while i was thinking about all of this.
brennan of course thought i was JUST talking about green bean seeds,
but one day i think he'll get what i was saying.
and i think that will be really great.
just sayin'.