"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Thursday, April 24, 2014

BE KIND, REWIND {#decade}

dear sean,
last weekend in arizona when you had the guitar duo come over and sing me a special love song,
i really really love that.
it made my heart flutter!
especially when you whispered the English words into my ears,
as they sang in spanish.
it reminded me of our honeymoon.
the most beautiful beautiful spanish.
and they were singing about i am nothing without you.
you make me whole.
really heart stopping, i'll love you forever, you make all my dreams come true stuff like that.
i can still hear those guitar strings strumming,
and feel your arm wrapped around mine.
how warm you are.
how warm you always are.
10 years ago feels like yesterday.
like no time has passed at all.
but like we've come so far together.
can you believe it??!!
it was 70 and sunny.
i remember watching stacie sitting in the grass and putting sunscreen on.
and then putting some on my arms and neck too.
i remember the japanese tour bus unloading and taking pictures of us 
while we were taking the picture below.
on our wedding video is shows me waving at them, lifted up on your shoulder.
i wonder what they did with those pictures?
i remember the tulips were blossoming all over temple square.
the most perfectly bright and beautiful tulip blossoms.
i remember thinking there was no one around but just us.
even though i know there were TONS of people everywhere.
i remember not really knowing what to do with my bouquet in some of the pictures.
this was before the invention of pinterest and tutorials about how to pose for your wedding pictures.
i remember the wind was blowing,
and it made my veil blow up above me,
and it made for some really cute pics.
i remember being sealed to you in the temple,
watching your eyes tear up across the altar from me and we both said yes,
knowing that i was going to spend forever
with no one but you.
and i remember thinking that forever just might not even be long enough to satisfy me.
i love with you.
10 yrs ago...
there was no such thing as "social media," not even MySpace was out yet, let alone Facebook or Instagram.
there was only one laundry detergent that came for "he" washers 
because front loaders were JUST hitting the stores and they were the "new retro."
nobody had wireless internet because ethernet was a luxury, but most people still used dial-up 
{like us because we could use mom's password to sign onto her AOL account for free}. 
It took about 5 minutes to log on to check your email, which you only did every couple of days anyway. sometimes i would take a shower while it was logging on 
because i knew that by the time i was out it MIGHT be connected.
there were no smart phones, and nobody texted because it was just too expensive. the hot new cell phone was a tiny motorolla with a green light screen that came with one of the first interchangeable covers offered. i remember i found a cute pink hibiscus flower one at the mall and everyone wanted to know where i got one that wasn't just a plain color. right after that the NOKIA phone came out that lit up WHITE, and it had lots of different cases you could switch out for. you could also personalize a message to pop up to yourself when you turned it on.
we checked when our favorite tv shows were on by the TV Guide channel, 
and it was always a bonus when you caught it rolling in on channel 2. winning!!!
there was so such thing as a DVR, and if you wanted something recorded you had to tape it on your VHS recorder, which i did until maxine was born because i just didn't see why on earth someone would need a TeVo or a DVR anyway {wow. WOW.} the worst was when you set your show to record on the wrong speed and it ran through an entire tape in 30 minutes, cutting it off halfway through oprah, OR when the programming changed due to some fluke of scheduling and there was no such thing as just 
watching it online later, or better yet catching it on demand.
there was no netflix. we rented our VHS tapes from horkley's {gas station in rexburg} for .50 cents 
{BE KIND REWIND}, and if we wanted to splurge on a DVD it was $1.50. we always bought sodas for .60 cents and 100 swedish fish out of the penny candy tub, 
with a bag of popcorn to share. those were the best date nights.
plasma tv's were the new rage.
iMac's in different colors were the computer/laptop everyone wanted, but everyone still had PC's.
gas was less than $2 a gallon. WAY LESS. like it was $1.05 or something like that.
"distressed" jeans were brand new, with bleached crease lines and holes. OH HOLES!!! holes were BIG BIG BIG business in fashion.
the atkin's diet was the diet everyone had just done or was about to do again.
thin thin thin sunglasses were in style. the thinner, the better.
and platform flip flops by Rocket Dogs. WOAH BABY. they were my FAVORITE:)
everyone carried around Kodak disposable cameras to take pictures.
digital cameras were just coming out, but no one had them.
we went to the drug store to develop our film. 
i loved printing them with the white border around the outside.
you could do black and white film if you had a high tech "professional" camera to load it into, but you had to wait until your film was DEVELOPED to see how they turned out, and it always took about a week unless you paid mucho bucko's for 24 hour developing. 
you would order "doubles" so you could share your pictures with your friends or give one to your mom.
and the best part of picking up a roll of film from the photo place was standing there looking through each picture and laughing about them with your friends about how claaaaasic each shot was.
we have about 8 pictures from our entire honeymoon because we just didn't take that many pictures.
there was no such thing as a "selfie," but of course we took them, we just didn't call them that. what did we call them anyway?
we bought things in cash, but didn't balance our checkbook because online banking had JUST come out,
so we could check our balance every day on our home computer.
people left VOICE messages, and if it was a boy you were dating or wanted to be dating, my friends and i would analyze the message about 5 million times, before we CALLED him back, which of course we would rehearse our exact reply and sometimes write it down {wait what?} before we called him back, 
just in case we also had to leave a message back.
it was NOT to call more than once. that was too desperate.
call waiting and caller ID was a luxury.
nobody had GPS--they used paper maps or SUCKY MAP QUEST directions that you printed out online before you left--the directions were always wrong. 
i once got lost in san francisco on my 18th birthday for 3 hours. SCARRED for life.
there was no pinterest.
"googling it" was even new, but sometimes we still used "ask jeeves."
does that even still exist?
we bought CD's from tower records or whatever record store was in the mall.
if you didn't want to buy the entire album you'd buy just the single.
there was no such thing as "get it on iTunes."
the Napster scam was big news because it happened right when we were graduating from high school,
but you could still download music for free on some file sharing sites 
like Audio Galaxy when we got married. i'm pretty sure i made our entire wedding CD gift from there.
We made our friends/boyfriends/girlfriends mix CD's. Labeled and decorated with sharpies.
the more intricate the design and colors the more they loved you.
and yet sometimes less was more too.
tapes were a thing of the past, but i still had a tape player in my Jeep, which i loved to play my paula abduel tape on with the volume turned up as loud as possible. also, i really loved your praise to man tape on sundays. where did that cassette go anyway?
nobody had heard of rascal flatts, but they were FAMOUS in idaho, 
and their "Melt" album was our favorite.
wedding dresses were WHITE WHITE WHITE. the most beautiful crisp white, 
and the bigger the poof at the bottom, the better!
in utah and idaho it was super trendy to color the bottom half of your hair dark deep red. 
my dad was horrified.
you could buy a full-fare ticket on southwest one-way for $79 ANYWHERE, and sometimes you could even score a $59 or $69 ticket if you didn't mind 2 or 3 stops along the way.
white puka shell necklaces and white tennis shoes were so in style for boys, and sean was OVER THE TOP AMAZINGLY JAW DROPPING GORGEOUS in them.
spikey hair, especially when it was pushed up straight in the front.
all of my friends and i had a least 2 pairs of lucky jeans and 3 pairs of steve madden shoes.
everybody went to tanning beds--is that really still something people do??? except for my roommate dolly who did the european spray tan before anyway had even heard of it. i love that smart girl!
i took my CD player {anti-skip} to the gym with my favorite running CD mix, which i labeled with a sharpie.
some people used MP3 players, and ipods were JUST coming out.
no one had ever seen WHITE headphones before.
and hashtags were just a symbol on the computer we used 
when we didn't want to take the time to write out the word "number."
i can't believe how much the world has changed in the last 10 years.
i am so glad i've gotten to watch it all with you.
te amo, mi amore.
te amo.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

letters to Beth {arizona easter 2k14}

{how'd your family easter pic turn out? my boys were super happy about ours.}
{we love to look at this picture and laugh. chase's face and brennan looking down. bahahahaha!}
dear beth,
last week we hopped in the car and drove to arizona for spring break.
how many countries would you drive through if you left germany and drove 12 hours straight?
i think you've told me you can be anywhere in europe in 3 hours or something amazing like that.
well, let me tell you,
i always forget what a beautiful drive it is to go through southern utah and northern arizona.
we went right around the grand canyon, and the red rock against the blue sky is just always so breathtaking.
sean and i vowed to take our children to the grand canyon one of these times.
how is it that when you live so close to amazing things it can take YEARS to go see them?
while we were in arizona i learned:
fake grass is the cool cool thing to do to your yard and there are lots of different ways to do it.
also you pay by square foot, but it pays for itself because you don't have to water it:)
having a pool is the most important thing.
people "trick out" their pools with slides, grottoes, fences, splash pads, water fountains, etc.
and they are the most amazing looking pools you have ever seen in your life.
mature palm trees either cost $5,000 or $15,000.
everyone has different amounts they say they cost.
also they take a long time to grow and you have to train them.
and the short fat ones attract scorpions.
but they are the cutest looking.
some neighborhoods have scorpions.
some don't.
my sister in law told me hers didn't, which i was VERY relieved for.
and even though i believed her,
sometimes i still felt scared to put my hands between the couch cushions 
and walk in the backyard without shoes on.
true story.
i'm such a wuss and also i watched too much oprah as a young child.
but trust me, once you've heard your niece tell you about the time she got stung by a scorpion,
it's enough to make a person decide right then and there to never want to meet one.
splash pads and parks are extra fancy with some of the coolest toys you've ever seen.
we are talking zip lines, some with seats, some with just ropes.
scooter and bike roads around the parks.
like people have weddings at the parks because they are so awesome.
we are talking outdoor adventures to the max.
when it's cloudy in april there it's like the most perfect temperature you have ever felt.
and then when the sun comes out it spikes up to 100* and you're feet are scorching on the pavement and all your brain is telling you over and over again is "water, water, water, water."
there are mormons everywhere, but still tons of diversity.
it's like the perfect mix. i loved it!
the gilbert temple looks so perfect and beautiful that it looks fake in pictures.
i swear to you.
i went on a ride along with my brother in law in his patrol car.
we took someone to jail,
chased down flier passer-outer people,
where i learned the difference between soliciting and advertising.
there's a difference.
who knew?
also, i got a tour of the mean streets of gilbert.
2 hours of crime fighters USA.
it was so much fun.
brennan loved to see the lights and sirens,
chase HATED the sirens.
he's never been a fan of loud noises though.
sean got in the back of the patrol car.
did you know there's no cushions back there?
just hard plastic with long looking seat belts.
also, once you're in, you can't get out.
sean locked himself in on accident.
then natalie teased him about all of the germs and disgusting things that go on back there.
we burned his clothes after.
ok, not really, but you get the idea.
police officers are so awesome.
everyone should do a ride along once in their life.
also, police officers always have the best stories to tell.
for example, another police officer in natalie's ward told a story over the pulpit on easter sunday at church and the entire congregation was crying because it was so touching.
see, police officers are amazing.
and they are always someone's brother, son, husband, father.
how was your easter?
we corralled all of the cousins in one wing of natalie's house and made them wait with their eyes closed while we took pictures of them, 
{note: chase eating reese's pb cup egg at about 7:09am--so proud.} 
then let them loose while they opened all of their loot,
ate reese's peanut butter cups and cinnamon rolls for breakfast,
and then we made it to 8am church 5 minutes early in puffy dresses, ties, hats, and suit coats.
{chase was too busy playing cars for taking pictures. i love this picture so much because of it.}
whoever heard of 8am church anyway?
arizona people have.
chase cried the entire morning,
all through church,
and i ended up watching pbs kids on my phone in the hall outside of the primary room,
which made him really happy.
even though max called me mean mommy in the middle of sacrament,
brennan yelled in my face with a bright red angry color,
and chased whined the entire time,
i'm still happy to report that i love this life with littles.
there's no better saturday night live skit you can play in your head during all of the chaos than what i just described to you.
i must admit,
i was NOT laughing when i was threatening brennan with losing all of his easter toys and basket if he didn't "sit down RIGHT now and be reverant!"
after which point he did that red faced yelling thing at me,
and then proceeded to crawl under the pew and kick it.
not my finest hour, i must say.
this picture of chase sums up what church did to us that day.
now, when i took this picture i WAS actually laughing because i couldn't help it when i was describing the entire thing back to sean while we were waiting for everyone to walk out from church.
and that's when i realized that i could have done a better job in sacrament meeting on easter sunday.
ya win some, ya lose some.
{brennan's cactus picture complete with flowers}

{sean locking himself in the back of the police car--note the big rifle.}
 {brennan's dream job. he's still talking about when he got to do this.}
after easter dinner made by natalie's gourmet cook neighbor across the street,
we went on an easter egg hunt where chase started off with the baby stroller as his basket.
in the most perfect weather imaginable.
oh what fun it is to grow up with your cousins!
{the men explaining the rules--they were the official egg hiders and executers--
and also that chase was going to get a 1 minute lead on everyone else.}
{the moment chase realized what an easter egg hunt was all about. he made out like a bandit with 11 eggs. the most out of everyone. blame the 1 minute lead if you must.}
{afterwards they all played at the park and the slide did this to max's hair. 
or the static electricity. whichever. i thought this was the coolest thing.}
and then we drove home.
 {the end.}