"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Saturday, February 8, 2014

dear max, i sure love to watch you live.

dear max,
we told you your birthday wasn't until today this year.
a day late.
because you woke up on your birthday on the red eye flight home from hawaii.
and we just didn't want to do your birthday on 1 hour of sleep in an airport.
you were such a sweetheart all day,
and i spent the entire day just dying to tell you our secret.
before you went to bed i sang you the happy birthday song to "practice,"
but really,
i was singing it for real.
i told you about the day i had you,
and kissed you all over your face.
you giggled and squirmed and told me how excited you were for your birthday tomorrow,
and that i was the best mommy ever.
which was nice to hear,
because on the plane ride from LA to salt lake you told me i was the worst mommy ever.
this is just how 4 years olds are.
it's ok:)
i think you were mad about the way i buckled your seat belt or something like that.
your favorite color is pink.
you LOOOOVE shoes and clothes.
some kids are devastated when they get clothes for their birthdays and christmas,
but not you.
you take tons of time to look through each piece of clothing very carefully,
eyeing and commenting on them.
then you pick one outfit to change into immediately.
it is so fun to watch you open clothes.
even when things don't all the way match,
you wear them in a way that makes them match.
you've got this personal style about you that i love.
you ask me to paint your nails almost every day,
and love to help me wash my face in the mornings.
you hand me everything i need one at a time from the basket on our bathroom counter,
and love to have me put some on you at the same time.
you put your clothes in the dirty hamper without being asked,
along with both of your brother's clothes on some days too.
you pick out brennan's AND chase's clothes on most days,
and always notice when i wear something new.
sometimes i will get all dressed and come out of my room and you will tell me you love my new skirt,
you'll tell me you hate my shirt b/c it looks like "TA-damas" {pajamas}.
true story.
you love to go into my closet and pick out shoes to match my outfits.
you love to wear my shoes around the house.
today you even put them all away when you were done.
you love to "pay toys" {play toys}.
you ask me and everyone else to "pay toys" with you all day long.
you hate tv.
you love to water color paint,
and you always come up with new ways to use your brushstrokes on the plain white page.
you love play dough,
did i mention you really love "parkles?"
i love it when you say something is "park-el-ee."
you say your S's as Q's a lot.
"thiq one" {this one} is my favorite one to hear you say.
nobody can understand you better than me.
sometimes even i can't figure out what you're saying.
but not very often.
you don't ever stop moving.
from the minute you wake up until the minute you go to bed you are always busy.
not in a loud way, just in a lots of things to do because you love to be alive kind of way.
it is amazing.
you miss your binky.
you tell me that a lot.
when you gave your binky away you cried.
you still have trouble going to bed.
in hawaii you slept in grandma's bed and brennan had his own room.
you both went to sleep like the good old days of binky life.
we've been putting brennan to bed in our room every night since we've been home.
bed time is so much easier now.
you have been so CRAZY at bedtime since you gave away your binkies.
every night dad and i toy with the idea of buying more for you just to have you go back to sleeping the way you used to.
you love to have a nightlight.
you love to go to school.
you love to write you name.
about half of the time you write it backwards.
when people call you makenzie you get mad and tell them your name is "maxine!"
usually you yell it out in an annoyed high pitched way.
especially the "I".
you love princesses.
you told me today that when you grow up you want to be a princess.
you love to ride bikes and play outside.
you ask to have friends over all of the time.
everyone is your best friend.
you are sensitive.
super super sensitive.
pretty much if someone looks at you wrong you are mad.
you are my best helper.
i can tell you to get me something from anywhere in the house and you will find it and bring it to me.
you get yourself dressed in the morning in seconds,
and then you want to go ride bikes,
which is hard when you live in utah and it's winter.
you tell me all of the time that next time you want to move to where it's warmer.
you love markers
and baby dolls
and dress up.
you love to drink hot chocolate every day.
with whipped cream.
you eat your vegetables first,
and then we have to talk you into your entree.
which is basically 100% opposite from brennan.
brennan is your best friend.
you also say he is mean to you.
you love it when he plays toys with you.
scrambled eggs are still your favorite food.
you love my egg salad sandwiches with mayo.
you wanted macaroni and cheese for your birthday dinner.
no peas.
you don't like peas.
you love to take baths and showers.
if we let you, you would shower or take a bath three times a day.
you ask about hundred times a day to take one.
you love susie's sweet street stuff.
she let you borrow it all in two big pink tubs a month ago.
they are like polly pockets, but bigger.
even i want to play with the sweet street stuff.
brennan and chase LOVE to play with it too.
they were hadley and millie's, and probably brittany's too.
the sweet street stuff is about the only thing i can take away from you 
when you are being naughty 
that will get you to change your behavior.
god bless susie swensen and her sweet street stuff.
i will probably have two giant pink tubs full of sweet street stuff in my living room forever,
and it will be totally worth it because it is about the only thing you all play with these days.
i love it.
you are so happy and smiley.
you are a morning person.
you will believe anything brennan tells you.
he loves to tease you.
you hate it.
me too.
you love to organize and line things up.
especially your my little ponies in the window.
you are such a little mommy.
it's adorable.
you and brennan love to watch my little pony together.
i know that one of these days he will be "too old" for that,
but for now i love to watch you cross into each other's worlds.
chase adores you.
you have the cutest little relationship with him.
he calls you "mah!" from his crib sometimes.
different from "ma" when he calls for me.
you bring him his milk in the mornings,
and climb into his crib to play with him.
i can always ask you to tell me what's going on with anything,
and you will always give me a good honest answer.
you also will lie straight to my face.
but never about what's going on with anybody but yourself.
and i can almost always talk the truth out of you.
i think that's called karma though;)
you love dance.
it's so fun to watch you.
you are super SUPER clutsy.
linsey named you calamity jane because she said she was that way 
and that's what everyone called her.
so now we call you calamity jane.
you trip over your own feet on a daily basis.
you just bang into stuff.
like your head into a counter.
or into a wall.
it's like dominoes falling.
sometimes dad and i can't help but laugh at how clutsy you are.
we absolutely ADORE you for it.
it's endearing.
you hate to have your hair brushed.
i repeat,
you HATE to have your hair brushed.
i've talked you into a shorter hair cut twice,
but you want long hair so badly.
like Rapunzel.
i keep telling you Rapunzel is happier at the end when her hair is short.
and that we can have kim do a cute little pixie cut whenever you want.
you won't budge.
no idea where you got that from.
must be your grandfather;)
i can't tell you enough that
we just 
little miss max:)

classic gibson birthday breakfast:
it is my policy to make as many wishes over candles on your birthday as you can.
and then there was dessert:)
i whipped the cream and cut the strawberries.
harmon's made the cake.
best idea i've ever had,
last night at 10:48pm, 
that's when it came to me as i was walking toward the cake box and frosting aisle.
going on 1 hour of sleep in a 48 hour time period.
that's when it hit me.
that's what i said up in my sleep deprived exhausted head.
and then all of a sudden i knew it was genius,
and just how it was supposed to be.
go me:)
you should have seen your face when i told you there was such a thing 
as a strawberry shortcake cake.
instant joy!
i was so relieved.
i bought you cherry chocolate chip ice cream to go with it.
it was pink.
and it had cherries in it.
which you learned to love in hawaii.
and strawberry syrup.
you were in pink bliss heaven!
i was really wishing i had a pink "parkly #4" candle for you.
but you didn't notice or care.
little max,
i sure love to watch you live.
{the end.}

Friday, February 7, 2014

i'm still so proud about it {max's BIRTHday}

i guessed your weight 
before you came out.
right down to the ounce.
i'm still so proud about it.
the nurse couldn't believe how quickly you came.
you were my easiest labor.
and my best nurser.
it was love at first sight.
you ate so well,
you dehydrated yourself in the first 24 hours.
i cried about that the second night you were born.
i blame hormones.
and the passive aggressive nurse.
amanda and ann marie were there.
dad went home to see brennan and give him a bath.
they brought me peanut butter cheesecake and raspberry lemonade 
from cheesecake factory,
and we watched bachelor 
and held you.
you never cried.
you sucked your thumb.
you sucked a binky.
and you were fine with nothing at all too.
you loved to sleep with your pink and white holey blanket that grandma casper made you.
you would always pull it up over your face,
but i never worried because it had lots of holes for you to breathe through.
you'd poke your fingers and toes through the holes too.
you still sleep with that blankie at night.
all of the nurses in the hospital nursery couldn't believe how calm you were in the nursery.
when people came to hold you,
they told me they could just feel how special and sweet your spirit was in their arms.
it really was amazing.
you just had this aura about you.
dad and i knew we were was the luckiest parents in the entire world to call you ours.
you made us look like such pros.
i dressed you in obscenely large bows and the cutest little girly outfits.
some of the bows looked bigger than your head.
it was so SO cute.
every baby has a color.
pink was your color.
your cheeks were rosy pink,
and your lips were bright red and perfectly plump.
you were the most pretty little girl i have ever seen.
you still are. 
happy BIRTHday max.
i love you my little baby doll.

little miss max all dolled up and ready to go home.
we called her "kinzie" a lot back then.
brennan meets max for the 1st time at home.
i can't believe you're 4 today.