"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, September 20, 2013

you, you, you otta know

we're canning green beans once a week over here.
in the pressure cooker.
just thought you, you, you, otta know!
{are you singing the alanis morissette song in your head now too? sorry 'bout that.}
i have a strong yearning for 2 feet of snow to fall onto my front porch.
and all over my yard.
but not in an "i want it to actually snow tomorrow kind of way,"
just in an "i'm looking foward to the next few months kind of way,"
as the holidays all fold out in front of us,
without any of the rush b/c it's all just far enough away that there's still room to stretch out your arms in front of you and not touch any of them just yet.
but not the colds, and the flus, and the streps, and the pink eyes,
b/c i'm not interested in any of THAT kind of nostalgia.
just the kind that makes me want to pull up a spot on my couch in the big room,
with the shutters wide open,
and a fluffy blanket all around me.
the quiet dark streets of snow and slow.
with the hum of the furnace as the only sound running through my house at night.
and when i hear the wind outside,
my heart races a little,
but not in a scary way.
in an excited way.
and part of me goes to rush to the windows,
to check to see if there are any blustery flakes falling outside.
through the dim light of the street lamps.
and then i remember it's september,
not december.
and that THAT would just be rushing things,
so nevermind;)
because the perfect weeks of fall are here.
they are here,
and they are absolutely the most wonderful warm weeks of the entire year.
from now through the middle of october.
when you can wear jeans and a t-shirt with flip flops during the day,
and grab your extra layer by 5:30 at night.
where you can cool your house down with box fans as the sun goes down.
and leave your windows open to get your room into the 60's while you sleep at night.
and for a minute i can see why people want to live in sunny san diego.
b/c 70 and sunny is pretty great.
except there's just one thing.
i really love snow at christmas.
like i said,
i'm just a sucker for pomp and circumstance though;)

Thursday, September 19, 2013

maybe we could use some work on our camping squats {"awesome park"}

there's this awesome park.
let's call it "awesome park."
in the neighboorhood next to ours.
it has the sand toys that were my very favorite as a kid.
two of them.
{we really could have used 2 more, just saying.}
surrounded by a field.
there's just one issue.
no bathroom.
major flaw,
but it's still so awesome that it's worth going.
like, my kids played in the actual park for an hour and a half.
on the actual park stuff.
no whining.
no running off.
nothing that you have to worry about at all.
big slides,
twirly slides,
little slides,
spinny things,
climby things,
lots of swings,
and lots of baby swings.
and by lots i mean enough that all 4 of the kids that i brought could swing at the same time.
maybe this is not a park problem you deal with,
but sometimes we will go to parks that are more work and effort than they are worth.
this park is zero work.
just dumping sand,
going down slides,
climbing and swinging.
and every kid of 4 different ages i brought in tow with happy happy happy smiling faces.
for the entire hour and a half we were there.
maybe it was just my lucky day you say, to which i say no, this is "awesome park."
and the weather was just perfect.
so 5 minutes after we get to "awesome park" today max of course has to pee.
and when max has to pee that means she has to pee now.
like 5 seconds ago now.
not b/c she's a "holder."
because she's not.
her bladder was just not made to do anything except fill up and unfill.
if you get what i mean.
so i look at the 5, 6, and 1 1/2 yr old boys peacefully and happily playing in the sandbox.
making dumping and crushing sounds as they pick up their sand and twirl their diggers around in cirlces.
and i look around in the hopes that maybe there's a hiding bathroom i missed.
you know,
like one that's not so obvious when you are distracted by the 4 kids you brought with you to the park.
b/c how could a kids park not have a bathroom anyway.
no bathroom.
max is holding herself with her legs crumbled into each other,
and pure misery and urgency is pouring out of her little face.
and i was just soooo wishing she had boy parts right at that very minute.
b/c that would just be so much easier at a park with no bathroom.
and then i decided there were trees here,
so it was pretty much a forest,
and in forests you camp.
so i was gonna teach my daughter how to squat in the forest.
while we were camping.
at "awesome park."
so we ran over to a big tree,
and i showed her to to squat.
i leaned her back,
the girl has one heck of core muscle set,
and i gave her the green light to go.
chase had found us by now and was making his way over,
but i was feeling so SUPER resourceful,
and max was almost done.
and i was just so proud that i didn't get peed on 
and she didn't pee on herself.
this really was "awesome park."
this is what i was thinking.
and then i pulled up her pants.
and realized 
that i had angled her to pee right down the back of her pants.
and soaked her underwear.
i'm so awesome.
 and then chase walked right up to us and stepped all through the peed grass,
which was really a non issue b/c pee is like water around here anyway.
and you see,
some moms would throw in the towel at this point.
call it quits.
but no, not me.
a little pee is not going to ruin this trip to "awesome park."
i brought snacks.
and drinks!
we were staying.
i just needed to be creative here.
i could totally work this out.
like i said, pee is like water around here.
so i took off max's underwear and told her that going commando was good for girls sometimes.
then i tied up her pee soaked pants.
and sent her on her merry way.
the pants dried in the perfect fall heat of the day in 5 minutes.
ok, maybe it was 10.
and i'm pretty sure the grass cleaned chase's feet off before he even made his way back to the sandbox.
and do you know what?
it was the best park day we've ever had.
and i still think we should call it "awesome park."
just maybe we could use some work on our camping squats.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

the story of how i learned to put shinguards on {last saturday}

on saturday morning 
at 9:29am 
the following conversation occured...

somewhere in the middle a phone call was required.
b/c clearly it was obvious that shinguards are not meant to look 
like teeth hanging out of a jack-o-lantern.
and for about 5 minutes i sat there asking myself why 
on earth i had agreed to soccer taking up my saturday mornings anyway.
and then once we got there with a middle school field full of cousins it was all of a sudden exhilarating!
and i couldn't believe that we almost didn't let soccer take up our saturday mornings.
because spending saturday morning at the soccer field 
wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.
it was actually pretty great.
who knew?!
i left with the intense desire to own a soccer mom umbrella.
you know the kind.
not that it was hot enough to need one that day.
i just felt like one day i might want one.
and so that is the story about how i learned to put shinguards on last saturday.
the end.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

11 pounds

if you're wondering why your store is all sold out of nutella,
i'm here to tell you why.
we've got it all here in utah.
in 11 pound jars.
with handles.
a brown haired lady and i stood there in the aisle at costco this morning just staring at them in awe.
then she told me about this nutella recipe she found at harmon's this week.
something about corn tortillas,
spread it out,
then berries,
roll them up,
i tried so hard to listen to her instructions,
but all i could do was stand and stare at the 11 pound jars of nutella.
WITH handles.
i wish the picture could do them justice.
i felt like i was staring at gallon sized nutellas.

Monday, September 16, 2013


when i was a little girl i can remember pulling this Todo dog i had 
around my parent's kitchen with a string.
or some kind of leash.
i couldn't have been more than 2.
and i just remember looking down at my dog on its leash
feeling so happy to be pulling a dog around on a leash.
and i felt like Dorothy so that was awesome.
i think its little legs even walked on their own,
battery powered, 
so it made it feel REAL.
every time i see chase pull his little wooden wiener dog around the house 
i think about how much i loved pulling my little Todo dog around on its leash,
and i smile.
oh to be 1.

the oceanic effect {day 4}

 -DAY 4-
the thing about san francisco, 
{and half moon bay for that matter} 
is that when it's really hot,
all of the hot hair 
goes out to the ocean 
and gets stuck behind the hill.
the hill that separates half moon bay from the rest of the peninsula.
in high school mr. naazar taught us that it was called "the oceanic effect."
so the hot air gets stuck out on the ocean and it makes fog.
fog so thick that it rolls in over the hill and through the bay 
like the biggest blanket of fluffy white you could ever imagine.
and on the day we woke up to drive home, 
i woke up, 
and i could feel it through the closed window drapes.
the fog:)
the coziest, 
most wonderful feeling of peace and quiet on the planet.
so as we drove out of the city,
we drove through the fog,
and i couldn't have imagined a better end to our trip to san francisco.
the city by the bay.
and then reality hit about 45 minutes later when all of the kids were screaming starvation.
so we ordered $31 of breakfast foods from Mickey D's,
and 3 chocolate milkshakes.
i think it was only 2.
we made max and chase share.
b/c at 9:56am,
after 4 days of vacation,
and a 12 hour drive ahead,
there are just some battles not worth fighting.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

is "horah" spelled with or without the "h" on the end? {THE WEDDING!!!}

-DAY 3: PART 2-
max was convinced that jessie was marrying prince eric.
from the little mermaid.
she was mesmerized.
it was adorable.
jessie gave her a necklace with a little gold "M" on it,
and a red friendship bracelet that she had made.
for the rest of the day max told me jessie was her "best friend."
brennan made sure i didn't forget that wearing his suit was worth 2 scoops of ice cream.
with whipped cream AND chocolate sauce for smiling.
but he put his foot down about holding her arm down the aisle.
because "people will think we are marrying, and i am NOT marrying max!"
sean held chase in the back for most of the ceremony,
and i had to get up with max and brennan halfway through. 
b/c brennan kept asking when the kissing part was coming 
b/c he did NOT want to see the kissing part.
and then max started talking,
and they started laying on their seats,
and whispering really loud,
and pushing and shoving.
and then my parents gave me the "take them out now" look,
so i escorted them out and around the front 
with my high heels sinking into the grass with every step i took.
and max was pouting b/c brennan pushed her again.
and brennan was mad that i wouldn't give him a phone.
so we ended up standing in the back of the ceremony in the grass 
{and i'm pretty sure i ended up giving brennan a phone
so he would stop teasing max,
and keep quiet so everyone wasn't turning around 
to see who's unruly kids were screaming during a wedding.}
and so,
with the palm trees of treasure island, the naked dancing lady, 
and one of the most beautiful city scapes on the entire planet before us,
we got to see the bride and groom walking out as the official mr. and mrs. at the end.
dancing their way down the aisle with san francisco and the entire bay behind them.
complete with the golden gate bridge.
and you just felt like you were in some kind of a movie,
watching them walk out together,
hand in hand.
and i couldn't help but think about the Jewish traditions 
brought romance and courtship 
to an entirely new level for me that day. 
and sean and i agreed that it was truly 
one of the most beautiful weddings 
we had ever attended.
-Intercontinental Mark Hopkins Hotel-
San Francisco, California
-Across the Bay Bridge-
-Treasure Island-
"on my way, on my way
on my way, on my way

i would like to reach out my hand
i may see you, i may tell you to run
on my way , on my way
you know what they say about the young.

well pick me up with golden hand
i may see you, i may tell you to run
on my way, on my way
you know what they say about the young.

well, i would like to hold my little hand
and we will run, we will, we will crawl, we will
i would like to hold my little hand
and we will run, we will, we will crawl

send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
mm hmm, on my way

i would like to reach out my hand
i may see you, i may tell you to run, on my way, on my way
you know what they about the young.

now pick me up with golden hand
i may see you, i may tell you to run, on my way, on my way
you know what they say about the young.

well i would like to hold my little hand
and we will run, we will, we will crawl, we will
i would like to hold my little hand
and we will run, we will, we will crawl

send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
send me on my way, on my way
mm hmm, on my way

i would like to reach out my hand
i may see you, i may tell you to run, on my way, on my way
you know what they say about the young."
-"Send Me On My Way" 
by Rusted Root, shortened
{i can see all of their eyes, so we're calling this one a win.}

-San Francisco Winery-
 and then sean and i decided that we were converting to Judaism, 
and getting married all over again.
because that was the funnest wedding we have ever been to.
congrats to the mr. and mrs.!
with all of our best wishes to a happy and healthy life together.
{as in THE END.}