"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Garage sale.

Garage sales are awkward.
The end.
 made $50.
and i only spent $10 on two razor scooters from my neighbor across the street. 
FOR 2!
watching my kids play with everything on my lawn
get paid for doing it.
i'd say it was worth it.
max stayed in her jammies until 2pm.
brennan ate...
i'm not sure if he ate anything other than cookies all morning.
still don't know what i'm going to do with that armoire.
it's sitting in my driveway.
if you want it,
it's yours.

Friday, May 20, 2011


 happy friday.
it's milk day.
and it's still raining.
the thunder and lightening woke us grownups up at 430am.
lit up our bedroom like an atomic bomb.
with big loud BOOMS.
we looked out the window to make sure the tramp hadn't blown away.
sometimes it does that.
and then fell back asleep.
today i realized that my lawn has been watered all week.
for free.
can't beat free.
the weeds are growing back.
i feel like i just pulled them all out.
(i thought this weed was beautiful. an oxymoron in itself.)
i keep reminding myself that i'll be
and heat
at the end of july,
wishing for the comfort of some good ol' fashioned rain.
i just can't kick this
antsy feeling
of wanting to sit on the back patio,
under my umbrella,
with the sprinkler under the tramp:)
i think it's b/c it's our first summer with a yard of our own.
i'm normally not this excited about sunshine and heat.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

chirp chirp chirp

{brennan dressed himself for the first time today. from head to toe. and then he walked around so proud. it was really cute. and perfect for a rainy day.}
i finally pried battery door open with a used grape Popsicle stick that has been stuck to the floor in the basement for a month.
i've been meaning to pick it up.
good excuse:)
so i pried the door open.
flipped the battery out.
and declared VICTORY!
and then do you know what that nasty little fire detector did.
it kept chirping at me.
"not so fast, emily! i'm smarter than you!"
so what did i do?
i yanked that fire alarm right out of my ceiling.
take that!
and then do you know what happened?
that fire alarm sat there on my floor,
battery out.
jacked off my wall.
so now, it's sitting on top of the fridge in the garage.
chirping at the jeep.
and thankfully not at me.
i wash my hands of you fire alarm.
we are not friends until you have your battery replaced and you are safely guarding max's room again.
it's a good thing we have a fireman in our house to keep us save.
the end.
it's still raining. 
by the way.
thank heavens for target.
it's a happy place:)
we were like hansel and gretel walking through there with our two bags of popcorn.

in the form of cardboard

i keep saying that once they stop playing with this box i'll throw it out.
except they won't stop playing with this box.
it's great and annoying all at the same time.
b/c right when you walk in my front door you see this cut up old box.
it's become furniture really.
sean's taped it in two places where it's given out.
and cut a big door on one side.
little piece of kid heaven.
in the form of cardboard.
chirping fire alarm.
i cannot figure out how to change the battery.
directions say to take off that circle part with the wires.
and then slide the door off.
except i can't get the circle part off.
so we've been listening to the chirp since 7:12am.
have mercy.
tell me you have the same one.
and know how to fix mine.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

lucky charms

i mean really,
pick out the marshmallows?
tonight was veggie burger night.
with roasted veggies on the side.
i'm afraid of how many diapers i will be changing tomorrow.
it was soooooo good.
and fast.
like under 30 min fast.
but make sure you buy the right veggie burger.
b/c last month i got some dr. veggie burger pattie from costco.
i couldn't eat it.
this never happens to me.
had to throw it out.
didn't even make the kids eat it.
it was that gross.
i bought the boca burger from costco.
we fought over the leftovers.
no joke.
{add cheese and all the regular burger stuff. can't go wrong.}

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


it's hailing.
so much for cloudy and a low of 40.


 day 1                                                                         day 2
he's still telling me,
"he's fine. don't touch it. don't look at it. and it hurts. but it's fine"
family night.
{max and brennan shook their little bums 
and nodded their heads to the music at our favorite yogurt place.
it was really funny.} 
last night we gave brennan benedryl.
{thank you kindra}
to knock him out.
it worked great.
when brennan climbed into bed with me at 6:30 this morning,
 i watched him fall back asleep,
 and then start laughing.
dead asleep.
deep chuckling.
i love this kid.
i'm not grumpy anymore.
despite the winter weather outside.
it's frightful.
my poor tomatoes and peppers.
the flannel sheets are draped over them.
covered in hail.
i was just getting used to dressing in summer clothes and figuring out the air conditioning.

Monday, May 16, 2011

poker face

the helicopter sounds scare max.
poor thing.
i want a refund for the last three days.
and when i say days,
i mean nights.
both kids are sick.
isn't it summer?!
i mean may.
either way colds and flu should be gone by now.
we are over colds and flu as far as my mind is concerned.
we've been in bathing suits all week for heaven's sake!
so for the last three nights,
brennan has taken to coming into our room at
then max wakes up crying b/c she can't breathe out of her nose either,
which we ignored,
bc she is still in a blessed crib.
glory be!
then Brennan comes back in crying around 5am
for the fiftieth time,
at which point last night i bribed him to go back to bed,
promising him that we could go to the discovery museum in the morning.
b/c at 5am there are really only two options: bribes vs. threats.
and threats never go the way i want anway.
so i bribed.
with the discovery museum.
which i absolutely did not plan on actually doing.
i mean really, didn't you just hear me say i have two kids with colds?
but he remembered {we'll get to that later}.
and then max was at the crying again.
so i swore we'd go if he'd just go back to bed.
and did he need dad to tuck him back in?
the next thing we knew,
he ran out of the room and we didn't hear from him again.
"you're not really going to take him are you?" sean said.
"no way, he'll forget by tomorrow." i said,
and then i rolled over and turned off the monitor.
i knew max was fine.
and would eventually fall back asleep.
and told sean that if brennan came in again i might yell,
so we'd better plan on him taking the reins for the next round.
mean mom was all i knew i was going to be able to muster,
and that was going to get us nowhere.
and then Brennan came in again sometime after the sun came up,
at which point i finally waved the white flag
and agreed to let him get into bed
and fall back asleep.
bc once the sun is up,
my bed is fair game.
so i finally let him climb into bed.
he snuggled right up to me.
stole MY pillow.
and we slept until after 9.
we are now all grumpy with snotty noses
AND we had to go to the discovery museum
bc the kid remembered,
and reminded me about fifty times,
and there was no negotiating another bribe,
post bribe given.
b/c he went back to bed in his bed,
this is what he told me.
{which he did in fact do}
so "he gets to go to discovery."
which we didn't even get to until well past noon.
i just didn't want to lose that bargaining power in the middle of the night,
and i didn't want to be a liar.
and let's be completely honest here.
i didn't want to spend the day listening to two kids whine and cry in the privacy of my own home.
i'd rather do it out in public where all eyes can judge  empathize with me.
really, it was our only bad option.
so i had to show my poker cards and play.
i am really grumpy now.
and yes,
i am the mom that brought two kids with runny noses to the children's museum.
spreading our germs like wildfire.
how insensitive.
i know.
have no fear,
no one has a fever.
and i'm sure there are worse germs there than the ones we brought.
we left with one black eye.
his left.
who ran into the edge of the chime playing thing.
after tripping over his own shoe.
it was really sad.
and he keeps telling me he's fine.
and his eye doesn't hurt.
so i shouldn't look at.
touch it.
or talk about it anymore.
tonight i will be much more careful about what bribes i give out at 3 in the morning.
or wait,
wasn't it 5?