i go to the store by myself, hip hip hurray!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
i go to the store by myself, hip hip hurray!
Friday, March 6, 2009
weight 24.9 lbs. (75%)
dad was running late,
amazing taco soup.
leah, recipe please:-)
i must mention jess and keri brought dinner too.
i don't have pictures, boo!
i love my friends.
thank goodness for friends.
should i be worried this is his favorite song?
naw, too cute for worry!
are you reading with us?
i'm on pg. 188.
so glad i still have the rest of the month to finish. how about you?
note: i've heard some of the colors i use are tough to read with my blog's background. i love my background and can't part with it, so please, which colors can you read the best? which ones are impossible? jess informed me that she's had many a nights scrolling the page slightly up and slightly down to see what a word is. oh my blogging goddesses, i am sorry for your vision! love to your eyes in green and blue today:-) and please, highlighting will help with those older posts in hard to read colors.
love to you and yours.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
brennan thought he had won something too;-)
where do you think he got that facial expression from????
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
yellow cake with chocolate frosting.
did you know it took us 2 years to get pregnant with brennan?
thank you clomid. (did i spell that right? or is there an "h" in there???)
thank you Father in Heaven.
for 2 years my heart ached. i know, dramatic, but really, i wanted to be a mother more than anything. i was so afraid i would never be able to be pregnant. ironic too b/c once i was pregnant i didn't fancy it as much as i thought i would. now that i'm not pregnant it seems so magical again. it must be that glow from afar;-)
everyone kept saying, "oh, but you're so young! enjoy this time, it will happen."
so easy to say. not so easy to hear.
the tears, OH the tears!
everywhere i looked i saw babies. everyone i knew seemed to be having a baby (i lived in idaho. rexburg, idaho. there are lots of babies there.).
i taught 3rd grade in rexburg. i loved my students. i poured my heart and soul into their success. it was a great year.
i can remember feeling like i would die if i had to go to one more baby shower. after my 7th friend (yes, 7th, who happened to be family) told me she was pregnant i had to pass the phone off with an excuse. i could barely hold the tears in. it's still tender to write about...mainly b/c i know my family is reading what i'm writing;-).
i prayed, attended the temple, searched for strength, received strength. strength i have drawn upon in the past year. strength that has continued to grow.
yet, i'm still nervous. nervous for those emotions to return.
despite the level of difficulty a big family brings, i want nothing more than lots of little kids running around my house. this is scaring sandie;-) it's not for everyone, and maybe it's not for me, but for now, it's my dream. i like my dream. maybe because i was an only child (this can be a confusing statement b/c i talk about my brother and sister on my blog. they are step siblings that i grew up with). i love having people around me. i love my alone time, but i absolutely love being surrounded by people. now, i'm not talking 14 kids people. i KNOW i don't want 14 kids;-) it's just not for me.
i don't know how many i want. sometimes i think about all of the reasons it took us 2 years to get brennan. there have been so many insights i've gained. so many lessons i've learned. some to share, some to not.
to share: i love motherhood. (deep breaths family ,deep breaths)
let me dream for now:-) it feels good to dream. i'm not having all of them at once.
just one at a time.
and we'll see.
i know for sure that being a mother has changed my life. it's made me a better person. a stronger woman. it has pushed me to change in ways i never thought possible. to be more tired than i knew existed. to feel successes and failures in the same moments. to put someone else first, above and beyond serving my sean. i love my sean. i don't want to leave him out of the puzzle. he is the finishing piece.
so tonight, i'm laying it all out.
b.c i like you;-)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
it's my birthday tomorrow. did you know that? i've been sneaking around the house trying to find the presents mom has hidden from me. i've already unwrapped part of some that were in the corner on the floor. books! i hope there are more where that came from:-) i am a little wheezy today, but slept 12 hours last night. i never even woke up once! mom and dad were so happy. i could tell they were happy b/c when mom came into my room this morning she was smiling and clapping. i just kept jumping up and down in my crib. she thinks i'm so cute. dad, i'm sorry i made you late for school this morning, but i hope you enjoyed your guilt free sleeping in! it's not your fault i didn't wake up early. just have your teacher squeeze my cheeks, all will be forgiven;-)
i am very glad to be home. i missed my little red piano and walks around the coffee table. mom told me i'm not allowed to play with kids under 3 or go to the store for awhile. madison, please don't go out with any other guys while i'm getting better. i still get to have birthday cake, but only with the really tall people who are not sick. i get to go to grandma's today while mommy gets her hair done. i heard her tell daddy last night that she needed to get out for a couple of hours. she painted her toes red today too! so shiny! i love to grab her piggies, that's what mom calls them.
mom says it's time to eat and you know how much i hate to miss a meal! i hope you have the loveliest of days ladies;-)
the pork loin
Monday, March 2, 2009
taking my daily stroll around my crib rocked!