"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, March 9, 2012

letters to Beth {echinacea, getting dressed, & richard simmons}

Dear Beth,
max had a runny nose glimmering on wednesday night, so i took your sister laura's advice and decided to give the echinacea drops a go. 15 drops in a shot of orange juice for both of my kids yesterday and this morning. we shall see if i become a believer. i picked them up b/c we were out of garlic drops and i knew max would be needing them to avoid the ear infection that always seems to come with her runny noses. oh how i love that you've educated me in all of this. did i ever tell you about when i worked for melaleuca and a customer asked me to read the ingredients on a bottle and i tried to pronounce echinacea like "etch-i-nay-sea-uh" and she corrected me and i felt like a fool. duh emily. too big of a word for me i guess. it was just not my day for sight reading that day.

i have yet to mail you the lotion and paci plushie binky holder. my goal is to do it before this little egg on my tummy hatches. i'm hoping i can tackle it monday. be on the look out for a package from the U-S-of-A soon.

max spoiled us so much as a newborn that i think i am going to be feeling a little like you are with bear needing more attention than smith did. i always get really overwhelmed around the time the baby is 3 weeks old, have myself a good long cry, and then take a hot shower and get on my way. how are the showers in germany? hot? i hope they are hot enough, and i hope the water pressure is good b/c it's not a good enough shower without some good water pressure. it's amazing how a 10 min. shower without interruptions can feel like an entire day at the spa after you have kids.

i don't know how you are surviving without cheddar cheese. i honestly eat it or cook with it almost every day. i just don't think i could come to love any other animal's cheese like the cow that gives me colby jack and cheddar.

i got a new coat rack in my bathroom and splurged on some $3 frames and new red towel from walmart. i love it so much that i find excuses to go into my downstairs bathroom just to look at it. i don't know why a new coat rack could make a girl so happy, but it does. it has 5 hangers! 5! now sean can even have a hanger for his coat. he is so excited. or not. but i am!
i have been teaching brennan to dress himself this week. yes, i have been doing it for him this entire time. it's just so much faster when i do it, but when we went to his 4 yr old well check it listed it as a skill they should be doing, so i of course checked yes that he could do it b/c i know he is capable and vowed to give myself a raise in my own time and get him to do it himself. it took him 45 min. to dress himself in t-shirt, jeans, underwear, socks, and shoes the first time, with 40 min. of him crying about how he couldn't do it and "could i please just do it for him." oh the woes of a first child. max of course dressed herself in 5 min., including shoes and then sat looking at him in confusion as to what the big deal about putting a shirt on by yourself could be. did that sentence even make sense??? you know what i mean. yesterday i used a cadburry egg to bribe him to do it faster. he did it in 20 min. and almost no crying. today, we are going on 30 min. and he has only underwear on. we are out of cadburry eggs AND peanut butter. i'm going to have to give up one of my precious reese's pb eggs to get him motivated. and then i'll have to give one to max too. minus 2 from my personal stash. i am such a reese's pb egg hoarder.
max is all of a sudden going through some extra terrible two's. she is very needy and whiny. last night i put her in her crib to brush her teeth b/c i just couldn't chase her around anymore. she tells me when she is going to go poo, asks to sit on the potty, pretends to push, then asks to put her diaper on, and goes in her diaper. it's quite the spectacle. brennan had zero interest until the day i potty trained him so this is exciting business in our house. although, i have no plans to do anything about it until she is 3 unless she really starts being more aggressive in wanting to go. i think she just thinks it's a fun game and is not really ready, and i am in no rush to add anything extra to my life right now, especially potty training. she's saying words, especially "no" and is full of personality. you would not believe how grown up she acts.
the weather is hot here. at least 50* feels hot. i put on a short sleeved shirt today b/c yesterday i felt like i was sweatin' it out with richard simmons in my long sleeve black and white striped sweater. i am just loving this spring weather. it has me in a good mood and feeling very hopeful and happy in general. my tailbone is all better and the aches and pains of pregnancy are annoying me less and less as i see the light at the end of the tunnel. except when my kids are cranky or when 2pm hits and my tummy is tired. or if i'm hungry or thirsty. but other than that i am feeling quite pleasant. i have the uncontrollable urge to clean everything, but nothing can feel clean enough. i want to clean the walls and the baseboards and the carpets. i vacuumed last night, and that seemed to suppress my urges a little. so very strange.

love to you all,

Monday, March 5, 2012

an old chevy {35 weeks}

if i lean forward i can see my feet.
my belly button is completely popped out.
even with a shirt covering it you can see.
if i sit on the floor,
there is no getting up gracefully.
in fact,
it's downright heeth-en-istic. {is that a word?}
not pretty.
crawling is more difficult than walking and bending over.
i had to learn this the hard way today at church.
{nursery leader, picking up toys, you get the idea...}
TUMS. don't leave home without them.
yet i keep forgetting them.
do not expect me to be the one to move out of your way.
and i won't apologize or excuse myself for it either.
it just is.
dresses and skirts that used to go past my knees now go above my knees.
tights fix this issue.
thank you tights.
my tummy is tired by 7pm,
or 2pm,
or both.
and i feel like it can't hold itself up anymore.
the skin just starts to feel like it's going to rip at the seems.
sometimes i hoist my belly onto the counter or try to hold it up with my arms and hands.
either way,
i don't look very cute in the process.
you'll either pity me or laugh.
i prefer you to laugh.
the same goes for my bra.
it cannot be worn past 8pm
if i have been sitting for more than a few minutes i will get up and walk like an 85 year old woman.
grunts and wincing almost always occur during this process as well.
but just like an old chevy,
give me a few minutes to warm up, and i'll be on my way in no time.
just don't downshift.
or make me stop at a stoplight.
i may not restart.
when choosing between sitting or making food i've been choosing sitting.
food can wait.
my achy body cannot.
this is foreign territory.
i don't like it.
someone bring me a snack.
and some lemon ice water.
with a straw.
and ice.
not to be demanding or anything {big smile here}.
tell me you are tired and achy,
i can talk with you and empathize all day about it.
and then i will feel guilty about talking about it so much and wonder if you are thinking i am whining.
but then i won't worry anymore b/c i won't care what you think.
i will just care about trying to sit down to rest.
have mercy,
i don't remember the end being like this with the others...
and i mean that in a bad way.
all at once.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

the booger on my shoe {happy 4th B}

 "mom, can i just have whipped cream in my mouth now?"
-brennan 4 yrs old
brennan woke up before dawn and snuck downstairs to steal my camera.
and peak at all of his birthday breakfast table surprises.
he then took about twenty pictures of the table, carpet, us sleeping, his bed, and his face.
the ones of us sleeping are my favorite.
although i wish he would have taken them of our faces.
maybe some good drool shots.
they only show our bed in the dark.
oddly hilarious when you imagine what his little 4 year old mind must have been thinking.
he finally woke us up sometime after 7,
demanding to know where his spiderman guy was b/c he needed him.
i was tired from yesterday and grumpy.
sean was much more chipper and tried to coax brennan into bed with us.
to no avail.
i was mad that he changed the settings on my camera yet again b/c now it only takes blurry pictures,
and blurry pictures on your birthday are just not what i call a kodak moment.
and i can never figure out how to change it back.
i eventually got out of bed and tried to put my best birthday face on for my first born's 4th.
it was a fight.
not even the whipped cream in my mouth was pulling me completely out.
not my finest hour,
but thankfully sean was on his game and awfully perky for the both of us.
brennan gladly put his crown on and the games began.
we somehow managed to open presents, eat our waffles, get ready, and make it to church by 9am.
truly a christmas miracle.
and do you know what my 4 yr old did at church?
besides put on a circus with his 2 yr old sister that is.
well, he had a booger.
which he never picks.
b/c that's gross.
this i have taught him.
this he has learned.
only mommy is allowed to pick your boogers.
which he has to be bribed to let me do anyway.
"they're good in there, they like it! leave them!"
this is what he says to me about his boogers.
they are his people up in his nose.
it's gross.
and i have an obsession with getting them out.
so he hid under the pew while i dug for a wet wipe.
and when he came back up i was like a booger ninja there to swipe it out.
quick and painless.
but no booger.
b/c i had JUST seen it.
so i asked him,
"where did the booger go?"
{oh how fun it is for the people in front of and behind us at church}
"i picked it out," he said.
"oh. gross. where did you put it?"
{for sure it was on his shirt, this is what i thought.}
and then he answered.
very matter-a-factly,
"on your shoe."
and then i gasped.
and checked both my shoes.
finding the booger.
right where he left it.
sean and i laughed until we cried.
very irreverent.
but really,
there is no such thing as reverence in our pew anyway.
after cake and presents with cousins and grandparents we cleaned up
{thank you mom, so glad you're home},
and put the kids to bed.
when i went to tuck him in,
i found brennan's new gold power ranger toy in bed with him,
fast asleep on his pillow.
when i went to tell sean,
he confessed that when he told brennan he didn't think it was a good idea for the power ranger to sleep with him tonight,
brennan told him,
"he's ok. i'll just hide him under my pillow so mom won't find him."
sean said he couldn't take it away after that.
it was just too cute.
a smile came over my face,
and a new warm fuzzy place etched itself on my heart.
i love that little boy.
 happy happy to my little pork loin!
you really know how to make me laugh.
and i absolutely love it.
except when it's before 7am.