"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

there's more to this story, but that's for another day {maxine turns 7}

Happy Birthday ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ‰ to my little miss Max!!! Things about Maxine you should know...She loves #emoji ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ, shopkins, making arts ๐ŸŽญ and crafts ๐ŸŽจ, #shopping ๐Ÿ›, #dance ๐Ÿ‘ฏ, and riding bikes ๐Ÿšฒ. Her nickname is HP. It stands for Hell ๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ‘ธ๐ŸผPrincess. She doesn't know that's what it stands for, but she will flip on a dime and you won't even know what hit you ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘น. One time when she was 2 ✌๐Ÿป️, she and Brennan took two bags of pb and regular #chocolate ๐Ÿซ chips out on the tramp. It was hot. They melted. I used to think Brennan was the one causing the trouble bc he's older, but we now know the common denominator for events such as this is always Max ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ˆ. It's just her gift ๐ŸŽ to always be thinking and creating and planning. It may look like mischief now, but I know it's going to take her big places all through life ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’•. She's learning to play piano ๐ŸŽน, and her teacher tells me she's in the lead for practicing minutes. Every day she sets a timer ⏲ on #Alexa , and we go down to the keyboard in the basement to take turns practicing together ๐ŸŽถ. She's a perfectionist, and I #love watching her wrestle and learn through it #thestruggleisreal ๐Ÿ˜ณ. When she gets hungry, watch out. She'll eat hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ lunch, but asks for home ๐Ÿก lunch ๐Ÿด about once a month, and this all came about because Brennan was going through the hot lunch line ๐ŸŒฎ๐ŸŒญ๐Ÿ— #adventuresinhomelunch every day without asking, and eating his home lunch too, which went unnoticed for about three months until max ratted him out and it alllllllll made sense ๐Ÿ˜‚. There's more to this story, but that's for another day ๐Ÿ™ˆ. So now I've just succumbed, and basically they know they've won and are in charge #thestruggleisreal ✌๐Ÿป️. At bedtime she asks me to scratch her back and tickle her arms and face. She loves to read chapter books ๐Ÿ“š "quiet and in her head," and her teachers tell me that if they could just have a room full of Maxine's, the world ๐ŸŒŽ would be a perfect place. I love you #littleMissMax ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ˜!!!

Monday, February 6, 2017

but without all of the static {those Chocolate Whipping Cream Bowls & Red Velvet PB cookie recipes!}

Chocolate Whipping Cream Bowls

1pkg Chocolate Almond Bark
8-10 balloons {blown up softball size}
1qt Heavy Whipping Cream, powdered sugar
Berries, Chocolate Sauce, Mint for garnish

Make Chocolate Bowls:
Blow up the balloons (you want them small and round, like little bowls). 
Next, carefully dip each balloon (about 1/2 to 3/4 of balloon) into the melted chocolate and set on top of the chocolate disks on parchment paper.
Let set in fridge for about 30 minutes.
After 30 minutes take the cookie sheets out and let the bowls sit for about 5-10 minutes. While pinching the tops of the balloon snip or poke a hole to release the air…SLOWLY. 
Hopefully, the balloon will release freely. If it doesn’t, do not pull the balloon away from chocolate just let it sit for a few more minutes and the chocolate should release the balloon on its own.
The bowls are delicate. Keep the bowls on the cookie sheet and put back in fridge.
Make whipped cream as directed.
Spoon whipped cream into chocolate bowls, top with berries. YUM!

i can't even wrap my 
head around this day.
i've been to Good Things Utah 7 times in the last 8 months,
and I LOVE these people ahhh!
i love cooking for people.
just standing around in a kitchen is my dream come true.
i love to do things with my hands, and pour into people,
and i'm convinced that there's no better place to do that than a kitchen haha!
Good grief...
i remember struggling when my sugar cravings went away 16 months ago.
it was like i didn't know how to connect with my food people if i didn't have those passions for food like i'd always had.
it has been the weirdest thing.
because i just can't connect with you about feeling bloated after the super bowl...
because i'm not.
in fact, i haven't felt bloated once in over a year.
not even you know when!
i can't relate to waking up tired.
or being an insomniac.
i can't relate to being in a sugar coma.
i mean i can, 
because i remember living in that rollercoaster since at least middle school,
but now i can't.
{sometimes i'll still eat something fun, 
like that whipping cream 
chocolate bowl thing up there. 
i had some of that today just for fun. 
i couldn't take more than a few bites, but i ate it because why not.
and sometimes when we go out to dinner i'll have a dr. pepper just for the bubbles.
but i can't ever finish it. and sometimes it give me a headache.
and i tell sean to remind me that my body doesn't like sugar anymore ok? ok}.
maybe that sounds silly to you,
but to me, i had this inner struggle over it all.
almost like a writer's block.
because i was that, and i remember that,
but i'm not that, so where did i fit now?
i felt like there was this part of me that had disappeared,
but not because i couldn't have it,
but because i didn't want it.
it was like this part of me was in limbo,
mostly alone,
and i couldn't quite figure out how to get it back.
when i didn't want it back,
at least not the way it was before.
i could feel deep down inside that what i had was something even better.
i think that some people look at me now and think i deprive myself.
how can she REALLY look at that and not want it.
{well my friends, that's for another post LOL,
or just go scroll through my instagram ok? ok.
@emiemiemi82 ya'll.}
i really just don't crave sugar.
sometimes i wish i did.
i miss it.
but not in the way you think.
soooooo not in the way you might think.
what i DO NOT miss is waking up tired.
being controlled by my sugar cravings.
never having energy.
taking hours to fall asleep at night,
waking up anxious at a pin dropping,
my hair falling out,
my clothes never feeling like they fit right,
and being dependent on ice cream and sugar to calm me down at the end of the day,
or perk me up in the afternoon.
so when you hear me say i miss ice cream,
or whipping cream,
or living to eat in general,
it's not because i'm abstaining from it,
or not letting myself have it.
and it's not because i'm just "lucky to be skinny with a great metabolism either."
{it's called blood sugar balance fyi}.
and it's because i truly don't want it.
i don't need it.
it's like my entire relationship to food has evolved into something more powerful than before.
it's like this deeper need to take care of my body is there. 
in a way that i couldn't understand before 
because it used to be all about filling something,
rather than regenerating something.
it's like i can hear myself more clearly now,
because i'm not drowning it out with static.
{and i'm not saying that if you like sugar that you are the opposite of everything i have just said,
insert a positive affirmation for yourself here ok? ok},
so i've had this inner turmoil and struggle about missing everything that had defined me before with it, to that being gone now because the essence of it had changed all around me.
and even though i'm better for it,
it was like there was this mourning of it.
i think that comes any time a piece of you changes.
and this is where today comes in.
because today i realized that i've recreated it,
in a completely different way.
it's like i've circled back around.
almost like a mom that had her first baby.
or her 2nd.
or her third.
and then her fourth.
and there's that reckoning and adjusting phase.
you moms know what i'm talking about.
and even if you don't have children,
i know you've been through change in the way i'm talking about.
in the same way,
just a different chapter of the book.
you men too! we can't forget about you men too ;)
where you have to find your new normal.
and you're not quite sure when it's going to come,
or how you're going to find it.
until it's there.
because there's something so present in your life that changed everything 
the way you thought you knew it.
it's like i've come back around and found where i was,
in a whole new place.
the same.
but different.
all at once.
and i get to share this amazing part of me,
that i've always dreamed of sharing in this way,
but in completely different way than i could have ever IMAGINE'd it.
and i just can't explain how satisfying it is to be here.
living inside everything i never knew could be.
inside of this person that's been here all along.
still loving on people,
in my kitchen.
but without all of the static.
i think it's also called your mid thirties.
what happens when you twirl the balloon in the hot chocolate too soon?
it explodes chocolate all over you,
your computer,
your toaster,
your pajamas,
your hair,
your kitchen floor and cabinets 
{p.s. they're white}
and then you spend the next hour using a toothpick to pick it out from in between the keys on the keyboard LOL!
really though, it could have been worse.
and i'll never forget what it looked like as wet chocolate was spraying
maybe one of my favorite cookie memories ever.
at 12:45am on a sundee night.
Peanut Butter Red Velvet Blossoms

1 bag Hershey's Kisses
pinch salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
1 teaspoon red gel food coloring {Red Velvet at Harmon's by the birthday candles!}
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 tablespoons milk
1 egg
1 1/3 cups sugar
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, room temperature
1/4 cup red sanding sugar


Heat oven to 375
1. Beat butter, peanut butter, and sugar in stand mixer for about 2 minutes on medium speed. Turn mixer to low and add in egg, milk, vanilla, and red food coloring. Mix for about 30 seconds to incorporate, then turn mixer to medium high and blend until light and fluffy.
2. In a separate bowl sift cocoa, flour, baking soda and salt. With mixer on slow add flour mixture to sugar mixture and beat until just combined.
3. Remove mixer bowl from stand. Shape dough into 1 inch balls. Pour red sanding sugar onto small plate or bowl. Roll dough ball in sanding sugar and place on prepared cookie sheet about 2 inches apart.
4. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes.
5. While baking unwrap Hershey\'s Kisses. Once cookies are done baking, remove from oven and immediately press a chocolate Kiss into the center of each cookie. The cookie should crack around edges.
6. Allow cookies to cool to room temperature.

Cupid's Floats
Cherry 7up
Vanilla Ice Cream
Red Vines

Pour. Top with Ice Cream. Insert Straw.
It fizzes. Plan for that. It's fun.
You're welcome:)

email me at emilygibson82@yahoo.com

Sunday, February 5, 2017


BE a Patriot ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ‼️ This #cheerleader tunes into the #SuperBowl for the commercials, but oh my word THIS GAME TONIGHT!!!! I am truly #inspired  by watching a team come back from the largest deficit in Super Bowl ๐Ÿˆ history. I am SURE that the Falcons ๐Ÿฆ thought they would win that game, and I THOUGHT the Patriots were thinking that they were going to lose bc when the stats say you have a 99.6% chance of losing, most people would probably think why even try? BUT the fact that they just WON that game shows me that the #Patriots ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿˆ did NOT #believe they were going to loose that game, even though they were down 19 points in the 4th quarter. They BELIEVED they were going to win. Even when everything proved they would lose, THEY WON. They did this with positive thinking. What in your life makes you feel like you're 19 points down in the 4th quarter? Sometimes as a #mom , that's me ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผ. Yesterday we forgot about Max's friend's birthday ๐ŸŽ‰ party. She's also missing something like 9 #homework assignments. My #kids are the rowdiest kids in the entire congregation at #church ⛪️ (no really, I'm not exaggerating). And I'm pretty sure Chase will never learn to follow directions ever #thebabyman ๐Ÿ™ˆ. Where did all of this negative thinking get me? NOWHERE. I am choosing right here and now, to come back from this 19 point deficit this weekend called #motherhood in this #gibsonhouseofchaos TONIGHT, because ain't nobody got time in this 4th quarter called #life to waste another minute in negative thinking ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ.