makenzie maxine pushed brennan out of the window.

do you see this rosebush?

look closer. 

in

the

middle.

how about now?

can you see it? 

how did it happen you ask?

well, let me tell you.

makenzie maxine pushed brennan out of the front window.

yep. ya read it right.

remember how i don't have screens?

and how much i love not having screens,

but have always secretly worried about someone falling out into the rose bushes.

because there aren't any screens.

well, now i wish i had screens.

because when max wanted to sit in the window,

and brennan was already in the window,

she pushed him out of the window,

and

then he landed

IN

the

rosebush.

i was trying to cook meatballs at the stove,

and i could tell they were on the edge of erupting.

at each other's throats all day.

5:30pm.

ya know the time of day.

and then i heard this scuffle,

and muffled cry coming from brennan.

like max was punching him from underneath a pillow or something.

but i could tell she was really hurting him because it was the saddest most helpless cry,

and i remember thinking, "come on brennan, just push her with your pinky and she'll fly across the room and away from you."

except not really, but you know what i mean.

he's bigger than her!

but she's always beating him up.

and so i went around the corner of the kitchen to tell mean old max to let him up,

and there i saw him.

standing in the grass whimpering.

choking out the words that max

pushed him out of the window.

and into the rose bush.

so of course i did the complete rational and in control thing.

wait no.

i yelled in pure panic for sean to

"GET IN HERE!!!!!"

ran out the front door in a furry of "i have zero control over these kids in my life,"

and told max she was in "BIG TROUBLE"

and was going "STRAIGHT TO TIME OUT" for the REST of the night.

of course my neighbors were in their yards and probably saw fire spurting from my eyes,

and my hair standing straight up on my head all disheveled from the lunatic which i was.

i carried poor brennan inside.

he was shaking.

shaking and crying,

screaming that he was stinging all over.

bleeding on his neck,

knees,

arms,

tummy,

back,

scrapes and bloody pricks EVERYWHERE.

everywhere!

and then he yelled out "his leg HIS LEG his LEEEEEEG!!!!"

and when we pulled up his right pant leg there we saw the most GIANT rosebush thorn 

you had ever seen, poking into his leg with blood streaming down his leg.

i yanked that thorn out,

sean slapped a ninja turtle band aid on it,

and i combed his body for the other 43 thorns we pulled off of him.

actually, it was just that one giant one,

but there were 43 scrapes and pokes from the ones the rose bush kept.

we cuddled him on the couch, put max at the bottom of the stairs in the big room for 45 minutes,

and tried to take some deep breaths instead of giving our second child away to the authorities.

of course i spent the rest of the night feeling like i was the worst mother in the world,

who has still not accomplished teaching her 4 yr old how to use her words instead of pushing,

hitting,

biting,

scratching.

i really don't think she knew he was going to fall INTO the rosebush.

but i just can't figure out how to get her to stop being so aggressive when things don't go her way.

and then when sean and i were going to bed we laughed in agony for our poor poor brennan,

and the look he had on his face standing there in the grass 

after he had pulled himself out of the thorny rose bush.

and then we talked about how we are gonna have to put some extra time and attention into her so she doesn't end up in Joo-vee by age 12 and stuff like that.

and then i fell asleep reading the sister of the traveling pants because it's always the book that makes me reconnect with the insecure teenager that lives deep down inside of me.

and on bad days,

sometimes it's just nice to go and be in that place.

away from all of this grownup stuff that's hard.

#it'salwaysmax.

#middlechildsyndrome.

#iwasonetoo.

#ican'tbelieveshepushedhimoutthewindow.

#crap.

THE END.