"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Thursday, October 2, 2014

road trip secrets unveiled TO YOU!

when we were kids,
my dad and sandie would wake us up before the sun came up,
drive to SFO international airport, and standby on flights all day across the country to make it to iowa every june.
and do you want to know what i remember most about the getting there?
the gallon sized treat bags, and activity sets sandie would pack in our bags for the trip.
she put reeses peanut butter cups in mine every time. and giant everlasting gobstoppers, or whatever they were called? the big white ones with spots on the outside that you had to suck down through the rainbow layers, and they were just a sugar cube ball like the grandparents put out for the deer in their backyard, and they were awesome.
we always went to TCBY frozen yogurt if we went through denver,
and we were always super disappointed if we went through chicago and missed out on the soft serve ice cream with sprinkles. at least, i was. i don't think adam liked going through denver. he called it the "black hole." i think that was because the layovers there were always longer or the standby flights were harder to get on from there and so we got stuck there more. it's just ALWAYS been about the food for me, hahahahaha. really though:)
so today,
as i was packing our food bags for our upcoming road trip,
i was remember those treat bags that sandie always packed for us on those iowa trips,
and it hit me.
i've turned into my parents.
and it felt pretty awesome.
there are two things that make a successful road trip:
#1. food
#2. movies
because if you don't have food, the movies don't even matter,
but if you're dvd player breaks, let's say 2 minutes into your trip {which actually did in fact happen to us last april on our way to arizona}, you know you'll be ok, as long as you have food.
true story.
here is my method:
one for the way there,
and one for the way back.
this includes breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, treat, treat, treat, snack, snack, DRIIIIINKS.
both ways.
did i mention i do one bag for each way?
i learned this lesson the hard way.
two summers ago.
so now, i'm smart about it.
i even label them.
and sometimes i draw a picture of the state of utah.
or a huge sun for the states of arizona and californa.
last time, my arizona bag also got a cactus.
i'm actually feeling like i cheated myself not drawing waves on my CAL bag 
this time, as i sit here and typing this.
the feeling will pass.
or i will doodle one in the car on the way there.
so these are the necessities in each identical bag i pack
road trip.
{in no particular order--this is serious guys, PAY attention}
1. teddy grahams, entire box in each bag.
2. red vines {barf--these are for sean.}
3. twizzlers for me 
{this time i bought the bite sized ones, so excited.}
4. pringles snack packs
5. pb m&m's {i eat these WITH the pb m&m's when i get to that hour of the trip where my mouth starts screaming 
mmm i can hardly wait for the salty, chocolaty, sweet goodness.}
6. apples, strawberries, and grapes
7. veggie sticks {this is second breakfast for me, 
always with a coke. oh yeah}.
8. speaking of cokes...COKE. don't leave home without them.
they will fix all of your wake up at 5am after you went to bed at 1am and now you feel like you're gonna puke woes.
9. juice boxes and chocolate milks for the kids, and usually i let brennan have half of my coke in secret in the back. max is banned because her bladder is the size of an actual black ant. i kid you not. i am already freezing hi-C's AS WE SPEAK as an added surprise for them on friday. they are gonna flip. slushie orange hi-C as it melts. mom.of.the.year. yesssssss.
10. bags of cereal {this is breakfast. you don't like it, you go hungry until mom decides to open the veggie sticks for her mid morning snack.}
11. granola bars and fruit snacks.
12. keebler elf striped cookies
13. fishie crackers
14. reese's sticks {walmart was out. i almost cried.}
16. peanut butter sandwich crackers.
17. regular crackers
18. ham and cheese sandwiches for max, sean, and me.
19. peanut butter and honey sandwiches for brennan and chase.
20. six empty sandwich baggies for me to fill with fruit, cookies, or whatever else i need to shuttle launch back to each kid from the comfort of my netflix on my phone watching self 
in the front shotgun seat. i am the smartest:)
21. one empty gallon sized bag for puking purposes. this was a recently added item, as brennan got carsick last sept, and my catlike reflexes dumped all of the treats out of their gallon bag {i have all the fruit/healthy stuff in one gallon bag and all of the shelf sustainable/not so healthy snacks in another}, and had max throw it back to him to barf in. then we zip-locked that barf baby up, and never even had to stop. GENIUS, i know:). ok, right now though it sounds kinda gross...
we only stop to pee and get gas.
and we only spend money on gas and sometimes sean needs a fountain coke, because let's be honest, they're just better from the fountain than in a bottle/can/whatever.
that's it.
the peeing machine max usually ads about 3-4 road side pee stops to the trip. heaven bless the life of littles who have no nudity shame. we can be off the road, and back on in 3 minutes. it's amazing. sean strips her from the waste down, carries her around to a downhill pee spot in the dirt, i hand a baby wipe out the window, we put it in the car garbage, and off we go. it's magic folks, MAGIC:)
brennan can go 16 hours without peeing. we found this out NOT on purpose, i swear. he just held it once for that long and refused to pee when he was potty training the first time, and we took him to the pediatrician because we just assumed something must be wrong bc WHO ON EARTH can go 16 hours without peeing and not die?! brennan. brennan can. and god bless him for it. he's our best traveler. chase is too, but he's still in diapers, so the verdicts still out on if he will be able to hold it as long and also receive the prestigious award of 2nd mate to brennan and his road trip traveler status--i vow to do a better job at changing chase's diapers this trip. he's just easy to miss when he doesn't make a peep the entire way. NOT A PEEP. it's amazing. we also let him have his binky the entire time. guys, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
all shoes are kept in a shoe drawstring bag.
for easy locating.
no searching for lost shoes under seats when we need them. 
nope, my genuis husband came up with the shoe bag method, and it's been road trip life changing ever since.
each kid has a backpack at their disposal with books, toys, clipboards, paper, markers, and drinks in their cup holders.
i have mastered the art of changing the dvd player without even having to look at the buttons.
oh yeah.
we are this fine tuned, well oiled road trippin' machine!
it just makes things painless, and actually pretty fun.
i love our little rituals, and that i always pack all of the same snacks and treats,
and i just know that when our kids are all grown up,
these 10+ hour road trips will be some of their very best and favorite family memories.
all together in the car.
or maybe max will say that she was tortured to pee on the side of the road,
and brennan will have life problems for being forced to puke in empty gallon sized bags,
and chase will never learn to say his "S's" right because his parents let him suck his binky for 10+ hours straight...
they'll love it!
i give you....
my road trip food shopping partner in crime.

who decided today that he actually doesn't fancy the actual doughnut,
{at least not the hostess packaged ones--FAIL!}
just the chocolate around it.
and by the end of his doughnut pack,
he even spit that part out too.
thumbs down on the packaged doughnuts for him.
they used to be brennan's favorite.
but not chase ray.
negative ghost rider.
next time, i'm buying him the real deal. 
note: see those yellow packages right there??!! 
THOSE are caramel wraps folks,
say it with me:
i absolutely will not make carameled apples without them anymore.
you peel the caramel off like a sticker from the paper it so beautifully and perfectly lays upon 
{i think 5 wraps come in each pack for about $3},
cover your green sour apple in it like a sticker, pop the Popsicle sticks in your apples
{which are provided in the pack--the sticks, not the apples;)},
heat them in the oven as explained on the back for about 5 minutes,
and BAM you're done.
no peeling caramels,
no melting caramels down,
and no too thick caramel that sags down your entire apple 
leaving your apple naked from the waist down.
{please hold your applause until the end}.
they are hard to find, and go really fast.
i've only found them at winco the last several years,
so i literally screamed in walmart today and loaded 4 packs right into my cart.
the lady next to me FOR SURE was not sure about me.
i wouldn't have been either.
good times.
no shame!!!
it's all for the caramel wraps:)
i can't wait to make caramel, white chocolate, oreo dipped apples when we get home.
adios muchachos!
see ya real soon!
vacation life is upon us.
and i just can't wait:)
{now...applause. A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E.}
{sing the song, go ahead. applause, applause, applause, 
i live for the applause...A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E.}

1 comment:

Amy said...

You are really making me want to go on a road trip. Except Jeffrey doesn't do well with lots of traffic, so I would be the one driving the whole way, which wouldn't be all bad, but it wouldn't be as much fun as sitting shotgun with my feet up on the dash handing things back to the kids. Still, I have a hankering now. :)