"boys come out nice, but then they get mean." -max

the night we told the kids we were having a boy,

max cried for 25 minutes.

non-stop for 25 minutes.

like she couldn't breathe she was crying so hard for 25 minutes.

devastated might not even do her feelings justice.

it was sad and a little bit funny.

mostly sad because we knew this was the first time in her life where she was really having a real life moment.

i told her we could get him little pink bow ties for church,

and use him as her baby doll all day long,

but nothing would cheer her up.

finally, between sobs and gasping for air she choked out why she was so sad it wasn't going to be a girl baby. 

she just kept telling us over and over and over again that she just wished it was a girl baby so BADLY because "boys come out nice, but then they get mean!!!"

my heart ACHED for her.

and then i stifled a laugh at her honesty.

and told her that this baby has already proved me wrong about everything i've ever known to be true about being pregnant with boys,

and maybe if she gave him a chance he might surprise her.

and maybe she could train him to be a brother that grows up to be nice???

then she said "maybe the next baby will be a girl"

with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

we didn't even get into THAT.

after about two weeks of that i think we've finally got her convinced,

plus we told her she got to go with just me to pick out an outfit for the baby to wear home from the hospital, and that basically made her entire life,

and now she's planning his entire ensemble down to every detail from head to toe.

she still will say she would really just rather the baby be a girl,

all with a "but this is life" kind of smile on her face,

and it just makes me smile to watch her through it all.

oh how i LOVE this little girl!!!

in brennan's defense, he really is a sweetheart,

but max and brennan are either best friends or best of enemies.

there is no in between.

but when it's good, it's GREAT, and those are the moments that are my favorite.

chase is her little boyfriend that calls her mom, but she told me she thinks is going to grow up and treat her like the enemy times with brennan too.

being almost 5 is a complicated time in a girl's life i guess.

i'm just so glad she gets to be almost 5 with us. 

the boys on the other hand have all of the plans in the world to have bunk beds,

lego tables, and basketball teams.

thrilled is how i would put it.

thrilled beyond measure.

i've never had so much fun being pregnant than i have watching the kids this time around.

also, i've never been so tired.

i'm in heaven.

must be the second trimester:)