"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, April 17, 2015

the day they installed the carpet and chase was in the way

today they installed the carpet, 
and everyone was at school except for chase.
it was a big day for him.
he pooped in the potty.
for the third day in a row.
so when one of the installers came through the garage door carrying his 400 pound roll of carpet on his back i of course was going potty in the bathroom off the garage.
locked in there in my own beautiful peace and quiet.
which is why i could quietly hear the carpet guy nicely saying to chase "excuse my please."
except he was grunting out the words very softly
because of the 400 pound roll of carpet on his back.
and then i heard chase's voice chipper as the birds in the morning,
and the carpet guy just repeats, "excuse me please."
really out of breath now.
and i'm pulling up my compression tights as FAST as humanly possible,
but let's be honest,
there's just no fast way about it,
so i just start yelling through the door to chase,
"CHASE MOOOOVE! get out of the WAY!"
and chase is all,
"i open my buzz lightyear! mommy give me a TICKER {sticker}! I POOOOOOPED! on the potty!"
and i'm just dying inside because i can't get my tights on and get my maternity skinny jeans up fast enough for this poor man trapped by 3 year old chase with what definitely feels like a 400 pound carpet roll on his back, desperately and very politely just asking him to move out of the way.
so i keep yelling "CHASE MOVE HONEY!!! GET BAAAAACK!!!"
and i can tell by the carpet man's grunting that chase is most certainly NOT moving.
and i'm just dying inside,
breaking a sweat trying to get these DARN tights up,
cursing them and all of my layers along the way.
finally after what feels like an eternity i have wrestled enough decency onto myself to FLING the bathroom door open and pull chase into the bathroom with me,
and put the poor carpet installer out of his misery.
my face was red by now.
it was awesome:)
upon which point i apologized and felt embarrassed that i was peeing on the potty while chase was blocking the carpet guy carrying the 400 pound roll of carpet, talking to him about going poo in the potty.
good grief. that was funny.

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