"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Sunday, September 27, 2015

letters to Emily {German Flea Market, America not Being #1, and thoughts on Smith & Bear}

Hello Mrs. Beautiful Emiline Gibson!
I am writing you a letter letting, in response to your amazing letter you wrote me.... Oh how funny! Shaving cream, spider dreams, popsicle apologies. You got it all in there. I must say, you are such an inspiration to me. You definitlely know how to endure. I am so proud of you. Germany is great, it's all boots and scarves around here. Full on fall time. Still nice but sweater weather. these pictures are from the Heidelberger herbst. It is a HUGE flea market and so much fun. They have good food and fun things to buy. I didn't actually mean to send all of the ones I sent but it just all downloaded. I started taking a german course on Monday and Wednesday nights. It's been really fun, other than riding my bike home in the rain at night. Luckily it's only an 8 minute bike ride. I met a really cute Russian girl that is so sweet. Her name is Alla. Of course I am only brushing the surface with all these updates, because we all know there is deep and profound things happening inside most people. Especially innocent and anxious mothers full of anxious love. (a line from a song) I have been able to relax and reflect since I have been, now what I call "home", which is so strange to me. If you don't want to confuse your self just stay living in the states for the rest of your life. Because once you live over seas you are never the same. Your perspective on your home country is forever changed and you long for that sweet innocent memory of America being #1. Not that it isn't because it is great, but I don't think there is a competition for it anymore, not with me anyway.

As I wake up Smith everyday, I feel such immense gratitude that I get to be the one that does this for him, of course that is buried down deep inside when my alarm goes off at 6:30, but once I walk into his room and pick him up from his bed and dress him, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. How did I get so blessed to have this sweet boy. Who is always happy. He is such a light in my life. Bear's cast comes off in a couple weeks, and I cannot tell you how ready I am for his cast to come off. I want to get a saw and saw it off sometimes!! He keeps saying, "I'll be big when my cast comes off. I will run really fast when my cast comes off." It's really sweet and sad at the same time. I cannot wait for conference. like, CANNOT. WAIT. I love conference so much. The news of elder Scott dying was so sad, because his talks are usually some of my favorites. Anyway, I love and think about you often and I hope you are happy and you have a fabulous fall!!

love you
and a day,
beth jane.

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