always

september was rough.

i felt like i was constantly drowning.

like i was in this state of ongoing anxiety

that wouldn't even leave me alone when i was sleeping.

i kept thinking,

i see why people take prozac.

and then i started thinking,

maybe i need some prozac!

remember the eggs that needed mayo?

that was my breaking point.

and somewhere along the way my milk all but dried up.

and somewhere in there i cried about all of it while making sewing cards at a relief society activity i had helped plan at the church.

very therapeutic, i assure you.

5 days of pumping and a couple of early bedtimes later,

my milk was back.

heavens don't make me do that again.

the making my body think it was nursing 12 times a day part.

don't make me do THAT part again.

the early bedtime part though.

i like that part.

THAT part can stay.

and stay forever:)

i just keep doing over and over and over again,

going to sleep early.

like 9pm guys.

i go to bed at 9pm.

and i keep wondering why it took me four kids to figure this secret of sleep out until now???

i don't watch tv.

it's weird.

who have i become???

a person that sleeps 8 hours a night,

that's who:)

so when my boobs wake me up at 6am,

and i lay there for an hour waiting for my alarm or my baby to get me up,

i'm not even mad about it.

because if there's one thing nursing 4 babies has taught me,

it's that having too much milk is always the problem you wanna have.

ALWAYS:) 

and also,

a baby that sleeps in 12 hours stretches:)

at 4 months old.

on an only breastmilk diet.

who ever even HEARD of something like that before???

god bless baby dean:)

and god bless sleep.

it cures all the world's problems overnight.

{my money's on hazel, by the way.}