"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Thursday, October 15, 2015


september was rough.
i felt like i was constantly drowning.
like i was in this state of ongoing anxiety
that wouldn't even leave me alone when i was sleeping.
i kept thinking,
i see why people take prozac.
and then i started thinking,
maybe i need some prozac!
remember the eggs that needed mayo?
that was my breaking point.
and somewhere along the way my milk all but dried up.
and somewhere in there i cried about all of it while making sewing cards at a relief society activity i had helped plan at the church.
very therapeutic, i assure you.
5 days of pumping and a couple of early bedtimes later,
my milk was back.
heavens don't make me do that again.
the making my body think it was nursing 12 times a day part.
don't make me do THAT part again.
the early bedtime part though.
i like that part.
THAT part can stay.
and stay forever:)
i just keep doing over and over and over again,
going to sleep early.
like 9pm guys.
i go to bed at 9pm.
and i keep wondering why it took me four kids to figure this secret of sleep out until now???
i don't watch tv.
it's weird.
who have i become???
a person that sleeps 8 hours a night,
that's who:)
so when my boobs wake me up at 6am,
and i lay there for an hour waiting for my alarm or my baby to get me up,
i'm not even mad about it.
because if there's one thing nursing 4 babies has taught me,
it's that having too much milk is always the problem you wanna have.
and also,
a baby that sleeps in 12 hours stretches:)
at 4 months old.
on an only breastmilk diet.
who ever even HEARD of something like that before???
god bless baby dean:)
and god bless sleep.
it cures all the world's problems overnight.
{my money's on hazel, by the way.}

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