the girl who cried wolf

dear dad and sandie,
good news. the water heater is NOT broken like we thought. phew. max just turned the dial down to pilot lighting. she told sean it was brennan on the way to school. brennan denied it. then she told me later it was brennan, and wasn't he so naughty for doing it? then after asking brennan one more time, and him denying it so fervently that i believed him, she finally fessed up. at which point i told her about the boy that cried wolf. i don't think she got it at all. especially because she kept telling me that she likes being the wolf a lot because wolves are so cute and cuddly. welp, i'm sure you are laughing and smiling right now thinking about how great the circle of life is because i'm getting back what i put out as a child. i'm not giving up hope here, but man, i can't help but laugh about how funny it must be for you to watch me be a mother and go through the same things you went through with me. signing off now to go save the world one lying child at a time!
all my love,
emily

"aseeeeeeeping" {dead bird}

while driving in the car the following conversation occurred on my cell phone...

EM-hello, hello?

SEAN-ummmm, so today when i was swimming with max at the pool, 

i was thinking she just had a really good imagination...

EM-oooookaaaaaayyyy?

SEAN-b/c she told me about how she saw a dead bird, 

and i was just thinking she had a good imagination.

EM-huh?

SEAN-yeah, i just found a dead bird in the sandbox. 

EM- WHAAAAATTT???!!!

SEAN-ask her if she touched the bird!

EM-{over my shoulder} max, did you touch the dead bird?

MAX-yep!:)

EM-how many times?

MAX-one...two, TREE times! {smiling and very proud}

EM- did you pick him up?!

MAX- nooooope!:)

EM-which hand did you use?

MAX-dis one. 

{holding up her left hand.}

{really, i'm asking the 3 year old which hand she used? yep, i sure am.}

EM- why didn't you tell me???

MAX- 'cause he was assseeeeeeping:)

EM- we don't ever touch dead animals.

MAX-oootttaaaaayyyy:)

EM- and we always come and tell mommy and daddy if we find any dead animals.

MAX- ooooottttaaaayyy:) don't touch dead animals. 

the birdy was aaaassseeeeeping mommy. his eyes wouldn't open!:)

EM- i'll wash her hands right when we get to nordstroms.

call natalie, and find out what we should be keeping an eye out for.

SEAN- yeah. i think we need some new sand.

EM- i'm so grossed out.

SEAN- yeah.

EM- bye.

SEAN- bye.

click.

note to self: 

when max tells you that she saw a dead bird in the sand box this morning while she's swimming with you in the pool, she's not just entertaining a good imagination. 

she did IN FACT find a dead bird in the sand box this morning. 

she also pet it one or two or three times to see if it was awake.

it was not awake.

in fact, in the words of max, 

"it's eyes would not open 'cause it was aseeeeeeeping."

yep we're all pretty grossed out over here.

especially b/c we didn't actually find out that she pet the dead bird 

until 

8 

hours 

after 

she pet the dead bird.

nice:)

time for some new sand in the sand box.

i think yes.
should we have called somebody???

lately, i need more laughing.

(he offically hates wearing diapers, but has zero interest in anything other than flushing the potty)

every day i fight myself inside.
let him be 2?
or
teach him how to grow up.
YES.
or both.
whichever answer you like.
the answer everyone will say is "let him be 2!"
it sounds really good.
i know.
but really, there has to be a level of healthy boundaries somewhere.
"moderation in all things," my mom's voice chants in my mind.
laugh, cry, get irritated, or become irate.
those are my most common options of reaction.
right or wrong, they are on the front lines of defense.
laughing usually means he is not touching or breaking anything.
lately, i need more laughing.
did i mention he tore the cabinet off a week ago?
sorry annie, we're on it.
he threw a bottle of my nail polish on the tile floor yesterday.
i was so scared he was going to cut himself on the glass and then i'd have to deal with that too, that i didn't get angry with him.
i threw out my butt and leg and barricaded the spill off from KOO-JO the destroyer while i unwound toilet paper to clean it up.
it was a five year old bottle of 99 cent sally hansen clear polish that had a red tint from using it too soon on red toes.
it's a good thing it wasn't my deer valley and spice OPI.
i may have been angry if it was that.
i WOULD have been angry it it was that.
ironically, those are the moments i am most excited to share with sean in the evenings about our day.
those are the moments that have us rolling at the dinner table.
saying how cute he is.
how wild and crazy.
and they are the moments that i decide really didn't matter that much at the end of the day,
when he's fast asleep and perfect in his bed.
sometimes i'll just start hugging him tightly and kiss his gushy cheeks when i'm so frustrated i want to cry.
or i walk out of the room and pace the house trying to ignore the tantrum in the other room.
stopping to give him the time of day for his feelings seems to help.
everyone just wants their feelings to be noted.
right?
...
i really like the holes he has put into his jeans.
the dirt on his pants and hands is "so brennan."

but i'm glad she's not putting holes in her dresses.
yet.