like if you're nursing

3 months ago, i was ready to throw in the towel.

it was my fourth baby after all.

nobody would have blamed. me.

we fought a good fight,

and the stress of it all had dried mama out.

but then brooke posted some silly little picture about breastfeeding and plexus,

and it was like i just knew i had to at least try.

now, 7 month old dean and i are 

i'm BEAMING over here at what my body is doing for this little man of mine. 

With each one of my babies I have plum RUN OUT of milk by this phase of the game, 

and even though I nursed the entire year, my babies were getting only an ounce or two once the afternoon feedings hit. I know I'm not alone with this. 

But that's not how things are shaping up with Dean.  

I'm here to tell you that blood sugar balance is REAL,  

and it affects more than just your hunger throughout the day. 

My milk supply has doubled since using Plexus (settle down ladies and gents, it does NOT make you make beast milk). Want to know why it's done this for my body? 

Because insulin is our dominant hormone, and it plays one of the biggest roles in milk production. 

I've always thought that my body just quit making milk the last 6 months, 

but guys, i don't accept that anymore.

When your blood sugars are balanced, your insulin can support other functions in your body. 

Like if you're nursing, it will help you drown your 7 month old DURING AN AFTERNOON FEEDING bc you just have that much milk 

BOO YA.

human sand bags

What, you don't lay 7 and 8 year old boys on your tree stand 

to keep the water from spilling onto your carpet 

when you're taking it down? 

so sad to see it go. most perfect christmas tree to have ever lived. 

and now christmas is cleaned up. 

the end.

also it's dark outside after church

I have NOBODY in the nursery and one guy in senior primary.

planking

NYE got chase like...

found him like this in the hall.

just balance like a human pretzel

At yoga today, the instructor said "don't FIND yourself. Let yourself IN." 

I stood there dripping with sweat, heart pounding, and legs feeling like jello 

from some pose I'm trying to learn where you rest your legs on your forearms 

and just balance like some kind of a human pretzel 

(I'm sure my kids would be able to do this like a piece of cake--

this is what I think every time I try to get it right), and it hit me. 

I spent so much time in my twenties trying to figure out who I was, and what do ya know!? 

I've been here all along. Just good ol' Emily, waiting to be let in. 

Or maybe just let out? Either way, here I am in the flesh, 

hot yoga, woo woo plexus and all. 

he looked like he had a rash coming on anyway;)

so giving away the binky on christmas eve was pretty much a disaster.

and by disaster i mean that he wouldn't leave the binky with the cookies.

brennan and max were so supportive.

told him what santa left them when they left their binkies.

brennan even put his hand on chase's shoulder.

it was pretty precious.

even when chase threw brennan's hand off of his shoulder and screamed 

"GET AWAAAAAAY FROM MEEEE!!!!"

i laughed inside a little.

and maybe smiled at brennan.

maybe;)

so sean put dean to bed,

read stories to max and brennan,

and i stayed in front of the christmas tree with crying chase,

trying to get him to leave his binkies for santa for 30 minutes.

then finally, after he had screamed in horror that he wanted to keep his binkies,

and me feeling like i was ruining chase's christmas magic,

we all agreed he could go to sleep with it,

and santa would come in and take the binky out of his bed.

and that is just what we did.

i may or may not be using benedryl to help him fall asleep this week without?

he looked like he had a rash coming on anyway;)

dear santa, more binkies. sincerely the baby man chase ray

me: what is santa going to bring you 

when you leave your binky for him on christmas this week?

chase: more binkies.

this one is gonna be a rough one i think.
he's smart, that's for sure.
my other kids were all sold on the bike.
nobody has ever even THOUGHT to ask for more binkies.
chase's second choice for the binky trade is a lightening mcqueen race track.
i'm going to miss his binky.
it gets him in and out of the shower.
it gets him into the car to get max from kindergarten when i'm in a pinch.
it lets me talk on the phone.
it basically gives me any immediate response like a dead ringer every single time.
and while he's not napping anywhere but in the car on the way home from afternoon carpool,
i'm gonna miss it.
he's gonna miss it.
at least there's always the blue dog.
i just don't think that's gonna be enough to get him back into his bed at 6am when he wakes up to pee.
oh man.
i'm gonna miss that binky.
have i mentioned i'm gonna miss chase's binky???
well i am.
there,
i said it
again.

in other news...

the train is up as of this evening.

which means,

only 5 days left of the train being out.

but who's counting???

just sayin'

5 days and counting.

also, max is a super champ at putting stamps on christmas cards.

this year was quite the stretch to get them out.

i sure hope grandpa's christmas present makes it.

aye, yigh, yigh...we're coming in on the wire this time!

is that a saying?

or did i just make that up?
maybe halfway right?

you get what i'm saying.

dear santa,

please get my christmas cards off and grandpa's present there on time.

xoxo,

emiline

Just like that.

And then all of a sudden everything in the house feels right again. 

I laid on the ground and let the kids decorate the entire tree. I didn't even move a single ornament when they were done. Sean moved some of the more fragile ones to the top. Man alive, I've gotta say, it's much more relaxing when you just sit back and let the cards fall where they may. I don't think I could have done a better job myself. It got darker and darker as they went, and by the end we had a glowing tree with the night in full glory outside. I hope they always want to decorate the tree for me. 

Let us not forget batman. 

We will leave it at that:)

Merry Christmas to all,

And to all a good night!