"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, August 28, 2009

birds & bees

i grew up in a home that was very open about sex education.
our family dinner discussions would make many a person blush.
we had sex education in school as well.
despite ms. macintosh's 7th grade science class, and all of those books and conversations with my parents, i still seemed to miss quite a bit.
call me naive, but i thought a woman could get pregnant any day of the month.
man and woman "lalalala" and "tada" baby made!
oh how i have learned;-)
i even believed that the worst thing that could happen to you being sexually active was getting pregnant.
it seems like there are many other life altering/fatal outcomes that can come with being a sexually active teen, although being a teen mother would be life altering (and i obviously don't have any experience to really have an opinion about this).
just saying: aids, chlamydia, herpes, etc, and the emotional stresses that come with moving a youthful relationship to that level.
is it really only 9am?
this might be too intense for 9am...
as we struggled to have our first child (no jokes, my dad reads this!) i began to realize that we were not going to be one of those couples to look at each other and "tada" baby made.
if you've been on this ride you know.
no romance.
no spontaneity.
emotional roller coaster.
and we were the lucky ones that actually have a success story.
the more i've talked about our story i've found friend after friend going through their version of infertility.
i might even dare say that every person reading this knows someone who has had problems or is currently having problems with infertility?
or at least will meet someone at some point who has had or is having problems with infertility.
so why are so many couples struggling with infertility?
there's always the birth control controversy.
that it somehow alters the body from being able to conceive.
there's pollution, pesticides, sleep, stress, age, and the list goes on.
what do you think?
personal experiences?
on a completely unrelated topic,
if you are ready for something inspiring,
click here to read about "the comparing disease."


Gilbert Family said...

when we are little, things seem so simple. i remember when i was like, 12, eating a big big dinner and thinking i was pregnant, and actually freaking out about it. umm, yeah. the innocence of youth. love your blogs recently. sorry i havent been commenting.

Lauren said...

Stace-- when Will and I eat too much we joke we are growing a "food baby" haha...
I think a lot of infertility struggles are definitely environmental... and no matter what the Rx label says, birth control hormones can mess you up-- not common, but it happens, it's just hard to find the cause when there are so many different contributing factors... that plus the environmental estrogens in pollution and pesticides... plus stress... and a myriad of other things...
Reading this reminded me how very, very lucky I am... some days I forget that.

Beth said...

My Sister Laura is an herbalist and has helped many women become fertile. SHe has a theory that stress is one of the biggest factors of not being able to get pregnant. She has herbs that specifically target the woman's oragans to calm them down and get ready to have a baby. If you are wanting to get pregnant she can help by doing a phone consultation... she is pregnant right now as well. Love you Em.

Jess said...

I know all too well the infertility curse, thankfully there are fertility programs and what-not to help us out. You'll die laughing but my mom is a nurse and we never had a 'birds and bees' talk.

Amy said...

What a deep topic to be talking about! I personally am one of the very lucky ones that has no problem with infertility but have seen siblings, family and very close friends having to deal with it. I have always wished there were a way to take some of the fertility of teenage girls who don't want to be pregnant but still want to be promiscuous and give it to the women who are desperate to have a child of their own. I do think that infertility is increasing and it can only be due to environmental reasons. Hopefully one day there will be a cure for it, but then again, would that cut down on adoption? Who knows.

Sue said...

I've thought about this before, and I usually chalk it up to something in our environment, because they still had birth control pills when I was reproducing, but I don't remember there being as much infertility as there is now.


PS. On thing I AM sure of...I'm glad YOU have managed to get pregnant again!

Emmy said...

If I try it doesn't seem to work.. when I don't really try it works.
So I agree with Beth, stress can mess it up.

Fiauna said...

Ooh, sensitive topic. I went through some infertility. That led to some serious thoughts on the subject. I personally feel that Heavenly Father doesn't punish or reward His children through their children. I think, for me at least, my infertility was part of The Plan. You know what I mean?

Bonni and Pete said...

Why is it that those who are really wanting to have a baby and will bring the child to a good home are the ones who have the infertility issues. Almost every one of my family members have been through this. My sister has had 3 miscarriages in the last year! While my 19 y/o cousin totally got knocked-up (can I say that?) and thinks it's so fun, like it's a doll or something. Anyway, it's super frustrating. Please bless that we don't have to deal with that when we decide to start having kids.