"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Sunday, October 17, 2010

NEW

i love this picture.

we are the new ones.
church is from 2-5.
so not only are we the new ones,
but we are the ones with the outrageously ill-mannered toddler.
who screams through church.
throws gigantic tantrums.
and roars like a pirate during all of the quiet parts.
really, he did.
"arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg!!!!"
all of which i completely blame on the fact that church is exactly at nap time.
the once was scout master and i just look at each other.
laughing.
with wide eyes.
the kind of laugh where we come to terms with the side show we must be looking like at that very moment.
and then you really do laugh b/c it feels like we're on some kind of reality show.
our kids would make great tv.
b/c really, it's funny.
baby is throwing her red bird thing b/c she wants to eat.
or sleep.
or chew on it.
or something.
once she's finally entertained,
and talked into the toy,
brennan wants her toy.
so he steals it.
then she screams.
so we make him give it back.
then he screams b/c he wants the toy we made him give back.
then we expertly convince him to love another toy.
which he drops.
then when he picks it up,
he bangs his head on the pew.
then he screams in pain,
but it really doesn't hurt as badly as he is putting on,
but it's nap time,
so everything is more dramatic.
then we pick up him for a hug,
and end up going for a walk in the hall b/c now no one can hear over his wails.
one of us stays with the baby who is crying by now as well b/c she is bored with her toy.
give her a rice cake,
bring brennan back,
he finds the baby's yogurt puffs.
he pours them all out,
and proceeds to eat them in large handfuls.
i keep seeing the $2.59 price tag in my head and realize that half the bag has just been devoured NOT by the baby they were purchased for, but by the toddler who now wants "more purple!"
then he finds his sister chewing on his choo choo track,
and it all starts again.
thank goodness, it's finally time to leave.
well, kind of.
i try to remember if i can remember anything the speakers said.
i know our neighbor was talking about home teaching.
not home school.
home teaching.
church at home.
and sometimes they take out our garbage.
there's nothing like good home teachers.
so today we left early.
but really, we were late,
b/c we had already been to church at our old church.
now we're in our quiet new house.
we will be recovering the rest of night.
see?
funny.
told you it was funny.
not funny?
when brennan drew dry erase marker on the pew.
that was just embarrassing.
and it made me wish we were in uncomfortable woods seats with no cushions for dry erase marker to stain.
two words my friends:
WET WIPES.

7 comments:

The Jackson Family said...

Dry erase marker on a pew is still funny :D

Wendy Williams said...

Hi! I came to your site from "mormon moms who blog" and I'm thoroughly enjoying it! Thanks for sharing your toddler filled life!

Wendy

Gilbert Family said...

youre hilarious! it will get better. who makes church that late? oh yeah, in utah...haha

Katie said...

We had church at 2:30 last year. Worst time ever! It made me truly truly love the 8:30 that we got switched to this year.

Sue said...

I thought our church was bad, being at 1 PM. That really is LATE.

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Emmy said...

LOL! Weeks like that make you wonder why bother. We had stake conference last week, so woohoo only two hours.. too bad it went 30 minute over! 2 1/2 hours sitting in the chapel, so not good

Amy said...

I love that he makes pirate noises. Glad my kids aren't the only ones who create scenes. Church at that hour is torture. Not only for the kids who are missing naps, but also for adults. Torture. Good luck with a smoother week next week.