lists {38 weeks}

i have become obsessed with making lists.
lists for jobs i would like done.
around the house.
outside of the house.
home depot.
best buy.
haircuts.
lists for next month.
lists for june.
{thank you sean for humoring me}
lists for what brennan is supposed to bring for his preschool snack on tuesday {just in case}.
lists for the hospital.
b/c really, what is the point of packing a bag?
other than the fact that if you pack a bag, you surely will NOT go into labor early.
i've packed two bags before.
and i always end up needing everything i've packed before it's time to go.
and then re-pack the night before anyway.
so no packing a bag this time.
just a list.
for what i might pack if i were going to pack.
which i'm not.
i'm living on the edge!
my belly button is so far out that you can't help but push it in when you walk by me.
it's softer than a baby's bottom.
and clean as a whistle.
my outie,
not the baby's bottom.
side hugs are officially the only kind i can give.
straight on just ends up with my face in your chest.
it's awkward.
and my hands barely make it to you.
i'm not a huge fan of hugging anyway,
so it's really working out for me.
i haven't worn socks in three weeks.
too much work to put on.
and take off.
i don't plan on wearing socks for the next week.
thank you toms.
and hopefully for the next 6 months.
thank you 70* weather.
minus today b/c it snowed.
and a few more days before june when it will probably snow.
note toms option above.
i've been staying up late indulging in my books.
enjoying my last moments of time where i can actually keep my eyes open to do such a thing.
my towel doesn't wrap around my belly after i shower.
not even close.
it makes it around the top and then forms a christmas tree from there on out.
yet i still try to wrap it every time.
and realize it doesn't fit each time.
just like i have never realized it before.
habit.
perfect posture is a must when bending over.
particularly to get something out of the two lower drawers in my fridge.
otherwise, i fear i might actually tip over.
no joke.
my undershirts don't cover my belly.
they make it to the outie, and that's about it.
i want to stay pregnant forever {in no universe could this be true} for another week,
and secretly pray to be put out of my misery.
all at the same time.
i can't imagine our life with another little person.
yet i know i won't be able to remember what we ever did without him.
i hold max a little longer and find myself begging for an extra song every day before her nap.
enjoying her as my baby once more each day.
as if it might be the last.
i have stocked up on every food, toiletry, and storable item i could possibly buy for the next month.
possibly the year.
as if i won't be going anywhere.
ever again.
so much for the budget.
i remember my cousin telling me that even after having two babies she was still nervous about delivering her third.
i couldn't understand why.
until now.
i am still mortified of my water breaking in a public place.
every time i go out.
i wake up excited.
and excited is a nice place to be:)