"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Thursday, September 19, 2013

maybe we could use some work on our camping squats {"awesome park"}

there's this awesome park.
let's call it "awesome park."
in the neighboorhood next to ours.
it has the sand toys that were my very favorite as a kid.
two of them.
{we really could have used 2 more, just saying.}
surrounded by a field.
there's just one issue.
no bathroom.
major flaw,
but it's still so awesome that it's worth going.
like, my kids played in the actual park for an hour and a half.
on the actual park stuff.
no whining.
no running off.
nothing that you have to worry about at all.
big slides,
twirly slides,
little slides,
spinny things,
climby things,
lots of swings,
and lots of baby swings.
and by lots i mean enough that all 4 of the kids that i brought could swing at the same time.
maybe this is not a park problem you deal with,
but sometimes we will go to parks that are more work and effort than they are worth.
this park is zero work.
just dumping sand,
going down slides,
climbing and swinging.
and every kid of 4 different ages i brought in tow with happy happy happy smiling faces.
for the entire hour and a half we were there.
maybe it was just my lucky day you say, to which i say no, this is "awesome park."
and the weather was just perfect.
so 5 minutes after we get to "awesome park" today max of course has to pee.
and when max has to pee that means she has to pee now.
like 5 seconds ago now.
not b/c she's a "holder."
because she's not.
her bladder was just not made to do anything except fill up and unfill.
if you get what i mean.
so i look at the 5, 6, and 1 1/2 yr old boys peacefully and happily playing in the sandbox.
making dumping and crushing sounds as they pick up their sand and twirl their diggers around in cirlces.
and i look around in the hopes that maybe there's a hiding bathroom i missed.
you know,
like one that's not so obvious when you are distracted by the 4 kids you brought with you to the park.
b/c how could a kids park not have a bathroom anyway.
no bathroom.
max is holding herself with her legs crumbled into each other,
and pure misery and urgency is pouring out of her little face.
and i was just soooo wishing she had boy parts right at that very minute.
b/c that would just be so much easier at a park with no bathroom.
and then i decided there were trees here,
so it was pretty much a forest,
and in forests you camp.
so i was gonna teach my daughter how to squat in the forest.
while we were camping.
at "awesome park."
so we ran over to a big tree,
and i showed her to to squat.
i leaned her back,
the girl has one heck of core muscle set,
and i gave her the green light to go.
chase had found us by now and was making his way over,
but i was feeling so SUPER resourceful,
and max was almost done.
and i was just so proud that i didn't get peed on 
and she didn't pee on herself.
this really was "awesome park."
this is what i was thinking.
and then i pulled up her pants.
and realized 
that i had angled her to pee right down the back of her pants.
and soaked her underwear.
i'm so awesome.
 and then chase walked right up to us and stepped all through the peed grass,
which was really a non issue b/c pee is like water around here anyway.
and you see,
some moms would throw in the towel at this point.
call it quits.
but no, not me.
a little pee is not going to ruin this trip to "awesome park."
i brought snacks.
and drinks!
we were staying.
i just needed to be creative here.
i could totally work this out.
like i said, pee is like water around here.
so i took off max's underwear and told her that going commando was good for girls sometimes.
then i tied up her pee soaked pants.
and sent her on her merry way.
the pants dried in the perfect fall heat of the day in 5 minutes.
ok, maybe it was 10.
and i'm pretty sure the grass cleaned chase's feet off before he even made his way back to the sandbox.
and do you know what?
it was the best park day we've ever had.
and i still think we should call it "awesome park."
just maybe we could use some work on our camping squats.

1 comment:

Amy said...

hahaha! What a great sport Max is. I love this. Now I have a question for you. How on earth do you get your kids to drink? Especially water? Keith will have organ failure before he will get a drink. He had brown pee last month and we went on emergency drink patrol, but he fought the whole time. What is your secret?!