"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Monday, April 14, 2014

from the glow of the hall light behind us.

tonight chase ran into the corner of the wall by the big kid's room.
one minute he was headed for the doorway squealing in pure joy,
and the next minute brennan was jumping out of the dark
roaring like the t-rex in jurrassic park,
and our little carrot top flinched himself RIGHT into the side of the wall.
like SMACK he bounced off of that wall, and then he was down on the ground wailing in agony.
i scooped him up, and he buried his instantly bruised goose egged face into my hair.
and i could smell my hairspray from his breath breathing into my hair so hard,
and i wondered if when my kids were older if that's one of the things they would remember about me.
my Aussie brand hairspray smell.
from the aerosol can.
one thing's for sure.
i know they will remember how i hummed them the stay awake song.
but never sang it.
because i never learned the lyrics.
sometimes they hum along with me.
always by age 2, sometimes a note or two around age 1.
every time i love to look at the shadow on the yellow curtains,
from the glow of the hall light behind us.
little baby legs draped off on each side of me,
like some kind of pinch that this amazing dream we're living in might actually be real.
and so sometimes i hum it about 100 times to make it go on until their almost fast asleep.
{would you look at those chubby fingers though! SWOON:)}
"Stay awake, don't rest your head
Don't lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake, don't close your eyes.

Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow's soft and deep
You're not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake, don't nod and dream
Stay awake, don't nod and dream."

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