"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

at least we know he's not a serial killer {a thank you note}

Dear Mrs. Ames,
Thank you for giving us 
the mellow group of girls, 
and the quietest boy in the entire Kindergarten.
It made for the best 
Kindergarten zoo field trip 
I've ever been on!
Anyway, now I know 
FOR SURE you really do love me.
Because I saw some of the other groups.
God Bless you:)
Brennan's Mom
Also, Brennan was in tears in the snake house.
Like he couldn't even speak because he was stifling a cry that gasped for air, and then burst into an I can't breathe 
because I'm so scared 
and I'm holding my breath so i don't cry kind of cry,
with huge tears rolling out of his big brown eyes.
And I was all whispering in his ears,
"Did you poop in your pants???"
I was panicked because you know,
NO extra underwear-O folks and we're on a field trip at the zoo.
Phew, he shook he his no.
What on earth could it be though???
that's what i was thinking.
and then it hit me.
the upside down turtle.
because the dad in other group was all,
"should one of us flip it back over?"
and i was like,
"i don't think we should touch it."
and he was all,
"they can die if they're on their backs too long."
and i was like,
"really?! wow, i hope someone gets a zoo helper. 
ready to go brennan?"
and the man goes on,
"yeah, they suffocate on their backs because their big shell makes their lungs collapse!!!"
and i'm sitting there giving him the "wow that's interesting" face that i do when people tell me factual stuff.
but mostly i was just trying to bribe the 4yr old and 2yr out of the stinky snake house with fruit snacks and pirate booty and cars for their 16th birthdays--anything to get them away before someone had to start CPR on the upside down turtle.
and that's when brennan started crying.
but he wasn't even that close to us so that's why i thought he pooped his pants because why else would a child burst into tears in the middle of the snake house anyway?!
but you know he didn't poop his pants,
he was just worried about that little upside down turtle dying.
and so that's when i said,
"yeah, why don't YOU flip him over, that was a great idea!"
because he was also talking about how his dad raised giant tortoises, and how he was trained in 
flipping them over and stuff like that.
and then i was like,
"don't forget to wash your hands."
after it was clear that the turtle was now safe and sound on the right side of his belly again.
and then brennan told me about how the two turtles were fighting and the one turtle flipped the other turtle over, and that's how it went down.
and on the way out i let the zoo helper know 
we already had it covered.
go us.
so happy that brennan is NO animal killer or torturer.
and that he did not poop his pants.
chase on other hand was completely fascinated,
denying me as his mother on the way out because i dared to pull him away from the front row show of it all.
and then we had to wait on the other side of lawn while the entire group took a picture with the giant metal elephant 
because brennan is still petrified of that darn thing.
going on 5 and 1/2 years folks.
5 and 1/2 years.
note: field trips are so much easier when you're not the teacher that has to ride the bus with 120 kindergartners:)
love, emily

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