"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

the "surprise" in the car magazine {awesome mom}

this is the story of the "surprise" in the car and truck magazine.
one day about a year ago.
or six months.
or some time a long while ago, that's all i know.
long enough that it was basically a staple around our home.
a car and truck magazine that came in the mail.
that's what i'm talking about.
this is basically chase's favorite thing to come in the mail EVER since he doesn't know about money and grandparent checks and boxes that say amazon on the sides yet.
so this car magazine came,
and he would sit in different places all over the house looking at it.
awe-ing at the different cars and trucks and tanks and boats.
it was such an entertainer that i KNEW it needed to be in the church bag.
and believe me,
it held his attention there too.
it was the magic car and truck magazine.
that's what i thought of it.
so when we went to our nephew's baptism in arizona last month,
knowing how LONG baptisms are in arizona i packed church bags with the regular garb for all three kids to have.
have you ever been to one? an lds baptism in arizona?
it's like 20 kids all on the same day. sometimes more.
it's organized. 
SUPER organized. 
like i sit there and think about how these people are pro's 
at massive primarys with millions of 8 year olds.
they have it down to a SCIENCE i tell ya,
a well oiled machine,
but depending on where you fall in the line up, there's usually a video involved, some talks, a musical number, and sometimes a congregational hymn.
you know, not quite as long as a sacrament meeting that goes over, but about as long as catholic mass on christmas and easter,
which means it's just a little bit longer than the norm b/c well, it's a special occasion.
so i made sure to slip chase's special awesome car and truck and boat and tanker magazine into his monkey backpack for the pre-baptism stuff in the chapel on baptism day,
and let me tell you, we were prepared.
fruit snacks,
granola bars,
and car magazine.
we were one happy of row of out of town gibson's.
and i was feeling pretty awesome.
prepared and awesome:)
oh yeah.
and then chase took his awesome car magazine over to sean and they went through it page by page together with a super spiritual movie about jesus playing on the projector at the front of the chapel,
and i was sitting there looking at my reverent family just feeling, like i said before, awesome:)
and that's when sean looked over at me and was all,
"honey!!! WHERE did you get THIS magazine???"
and i was all, "it came in the mail. isn't it awesome:)"
and i had a huge smile on my face because i just KNEW my husband was thinking how awesome of a mom i was because my kids were being so reverent and out of town church going awesome.
and then he was like,
"um honey, come here..."
and so i scooted over for him to whisper sweet praises into my awesome mom ears and that's when i heard it.
"there's PORN in here!"
and i was like
"excuse me?"
and he was all,
"on page 41 and 42, between the tractor page and tank page!"
"whaaaaat??? what do you mean??"
that's what i said.
and he was like, "naked girls and girls wearing skanky stuff!"
and that's when my eyes got all big,
and i covered my mouth,
mostly because i was laughing and feeling all IRREVERENT because who laughs about porn in your kid's magazine IN A CHAPEL at a BAPTISM anyway???
well, we did.
mostly because it was just so ironic that such a discovery would be made in such a holy place.
and also there's the question we were wondering which was how many times has chase looked at those pictures, and how crazy it is that you can just miss something 
like this IN your home for so long.
so we swiftly closed up that car and truck and tank and boat magazine,
irreverently laughed over the matter for about 5 minutes more because there just couldn't have been a worse place to find such a thing.
and also a funnier place to find such a thing.
and REALIZE such a thing.
and then we walked into parker's baptism with our 
by that point, 3 irreverent kids,
'cause ya know we are SO awesome and prepared and stuff:)



who puts porn in the middle of a mailer car and truck 
and boat and tank magazine anyway???
sickos.

1 comment:

Amy Involuntary said...

Oh my goodness, that is the funniest thing I have heard all day! Of course the smut would come out during a baptismal meeting. Of course! Wow. Now you just need to paste different pictures over those pages (might I suggest pictures of Jesus or something else churchy as recompense?)and you will be all set to keep the magic book in your church bag.
Thanks for the laugh!