"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Monday, March 23, 2009

playing at my feet.

normally i try to take things off of my key chain.
in high school i had a ridiculously full key chain.
it weighed more than my backpack.
for some reason i saw it as "the bigger, the better."
a colage of my identity.
now i want my car key, my house key, my mom's house key, and that's it.
instead of taking something off today, i put something on.
it is a glorious invention.
i didn't spend one useless minute searching for my keys in the depths of my bag.
there they were, hooked to the outside!
they unhook and hook quite easily.
i am a happy woman.
i have about thirty pages left in
"the secret life of bees"
one week goddesses, so get crack-a-lackin!
that means you bree;-)
pork loin roast was on sale today.
i bought some.
brennan pointed to it. (pictures to come)
i made the stuffed pork chops.
you know, the ones with spinach and feta from last week?
to die for.
have you made them yet?
click here.
have you read nie's post today?
it made me think.
would i be okay if my life changed instantly?
would anyone?
eventually i'd be okay.
is it wrong to let motherhood be such a big part of me?
i've let it in.
and i love it.
every part of it.
even the hard parts.
the yucky parts.
definitely the exhausting parts.
but i just love the way it feels.
to raise someone.
to show them a giraffe for the first time.
to watch them call a giraffe a "dog."
proud moment! lol
i still have other parts of me.
i love my spiritual life.
which was increased by the mothering part of my life.
who am i fooling?
every part of my life was increased by the mothering part of my life.
i mean that in an amazing way.
i've been changed for the better.
now that i have more of a grasp on life as a mother i've been able to incorporate brennan into all of the things i loved before becoming a mother.
brennan eats mint chips when i bake cookies.
he jogs with me.
bless you costco and your $99 jogging stroller.
he listens to music with me.
ella fitzgerald, i think you rock.
britney spears, brennan loves your music.
i read out loud to brennan.
he listens, i think.
he turns the pages too.
it's darling.
i read silently while he plays sometimes too.
not for very long,
maybe 10 minutes, okay, only 5.
but it's a beautiful 5 minutes.
we never make it longer than 5 minutes,
reading in my rocker (do i sound old?)
with brennan at my feet playing.
it's magical.


Amy said...

I read Nie's post and wanted to cry for her. She is such an amazing woman. I can't imagine my baby not wanting me, or calling anyone else "Mommy." That just tears out the heart. I think motherhood should be such a big part of you, or me, or any other woman who has children (and some who don't). If it wasn't our LIVES we wouldn't be good mothers. Children need so much attention. Today my son was so fussy, and I caught myself loosing my patience. I took a step back, looked at the situation, and then dropped to my knees and just held him. He clung to my neck. He just needed some lovins. That is when it is best to be a mother, in my opinion. When they need you, and cling to you like a dryer sheet. It may make the moment hard {I was washing dishes} but it;s the BEST!

Gilbert Family said...

it IS magical. and yes, they ARE listening. can you imagine...getting better and better with each child. cant grasp it. makes me want to be a better person. each day. you are so poetic. did you know that?! thanks for sharing your life!

Fiauna said...

What a nice, lovely little post. It made me smile. Thank you for your nice posts.

Bree said...

Page 158 at 7:30pm tonight thank you very much ..ditched yw to read wilder playing in circles around me- currently playing with the wii remotes

Katie said...

Nie's post had me pondering and saying silent prayers of gratitude all day long too.