the moment when your stomach goes up through your throat and into you mouth.
when you count out 3 sets of 3 pills and one more set of 2.
the set of 2 that should be 3.
with your toddler on the floor licking his lips and smelling of vanilla.
the same vanilla that your vitamins smell like.
the urgent phone call to your pediatrician.
the wait that seemed to take 20 minutes to talk to a nurse, debating whether or not to hang up and just call 911.
the nurse telling you to call poison control, and then not being able to find the number on the little fridge magnet you swear you had.
all the while hearing the little voice in your head,
"duh em, duh!!! KEEP OUT OF REACH FROM CHILDREN. duh!!!"
little toddler now with hiccups, smiling up and laughing at me with those rosy cheeks and perfectly red lips.
talking to marci from poison control.
never being so happy that my child is 30 pounds at 16 months old!
realizing that he would have had to take 30 pills, not 1 to even need to go to the hospital.
giving out my name, number, and home address to poison control.
wondering if they pass that kind of stuff onto CPS?
meeting ann marie for $2 fish tacos at rubios.
giving myself a sarcastic pat on the back and a "mother of the year award."
scaring sean with a facebook status update.
and you maybe too?
putting brennan down for a nap.
feeling happy at the way our day has turned out.
relieved that i'm back to worrying about how many verbal words my child has vs. what he "should" have.
or something silly like that...
hearing brooke shields talk about her "natural and easy friendship" with michael jackson and wondering if deep down she really thought he was just as crazy as the rest of us thought he was?
and that's when you call me the heartless one.