caked.

the hand rest back in full force.
i must say, it's quite convenient and comfortable.
the acid reflux begins around lunch time.
much earlier than with brennan, when it came after dinner.
somehow i've managed to lose 2 lbs this week.
hate me.
i would if a pregnant woman said that to me in december.
but don't worry too much, i'm sure my scale is just broken.
or it's b/c i had 1/2 diet pepsi and 1/2 cherry pepsi on friday night, instead of my normal full force of dr. pepper.
i'm sure it's just a fluke.
but hot dog, it makes a pregnant woman feel like jumping up and down!
unless i have a full bladder.
or anything in my bladder for that matter.
then i don't want to jump up and down.
i'm on day 3 of doing 30 kegels a day.
i'm desperate for some jumping up and down.
or just coughing in general.
oh how i remember hearing the other teachers talking about this in the teacher's lounge, swearing it was never going to happen to me...
the physical therapist/scout master is proud of my kegel goal.
all of that education in strengthening the body may actually rub off on me.
or i may just end up having all of the surgeries Dr. N offers after all of the babies have come.
time will tell.
at least i'm considering the physical therapist way for once.
walking less, enjoying the ending weeks much more.
with brennan i counted down by the day.
with "max" (the nickname we're teaching brennan to call her) i'm aware of the weeks, but patient with the progress.
brennan taught me to love myself.
"max" is teaching me to enjoy pregnancy.
a little.
no lying here, pregnancy has it's ups and downs, but i'm grateful that God has given my body this amazing gift.
b/c that's what it is.
a gift.
one that i remind myself it is when i'm whining about how painful it's becoming to walk and turn over in the night.
one that i wanted so badly it hurt.
today's fears:
1. that i may have worried over all of my worries for absolutely no reason at all.
BUT, i'm still glad i'm going through the emotions of it all.
it's a growing process.
i write them down,
get them out,
and leave them behind.
2. the epidural
this one kept me up sat. night.
3 shots of adrenaline after my epi with brennan.
more fluids next time, says Dr. N.
ok.
can't do it without it, so enough talk of that.
3. that my water might actually break this time, and i don't know where that plastic mattress cover i bought when i was pregnant with brennan went...
...
in other news...
i finished da vinci code yesterday.
less than impressed.
it was good, but i could take it or leave it.
just give me angels and demons again.
i'll take that.
hunger games, you're next (compliments of ann marie).
the scout master won a set of boxing gloves from everlast.
it was from their friday giveaway on facebook.
i'm jealous.
not of the gloves.
just of the winning.
how many times have i entered TAMN's giveaways and never won a thing?!
every month people, every month.
brennan's favorite word, since yesterday, is "bye."
he says it crystal clear.
like "cookie."
"go, bye, go" he says.
every time he walks away from one of us, down the hall, or away from a toy he says, "bye."
i love that kid.
braxton hicks are in full force.
last time they scared me.
this time they make me happy.
no pain, just progess.
glad i don't have the painful ones.
at least not until Dr. N breaks my water.
hopefully at 39 weeks this time, not 41.
solely for the benefit of my pelvic floor.
from what Dr. N says, a few more 9 pounders and i'm caked.
so-TA-speaking.