i stood in my closet today.
left hand/arm full of windex, toilet bowl cleaner, a magic eraser, and a sponge.
i was throwing some shoes in my closet on the way to put away my cleaners.
i really wanted my belt.
i was trying to do the one fell swoop of put away, clean up, and get the belt i'd been trying to put on since i woke up this morning.
it was on my pants from yesterday.
and i wore other old pants downstairs to get my clean jeans i really wanted to wear that were sitting on the dryer.
so i'd already worn the temporary pants downstairs,
so i wouldn't flash my underwear to my neighbors,
changed in my laundry room into the clean jeans i'd wanted this morning,
left the temporary jeans in the laundry room,
cleaned the bathroom in between,
and was on my way upstairs to put everything else away.
pulling my pants up onto my hips for the fiftieth time.
and since i was already in the closet i thought i'd multi-task and grab my belt.
so i stood there trying to take my belt off of yesterday's pants.
but it just kept cinching the pants tighter and tighter as i tried to one-handedly pull the belt out.
shaking the belt, hoping to get the belt to slide out of yesterday's pants.
then some windex sprayed out onto yesterday's pants.
new perfume, yeeeeesssssss!
it made me laugh.
and i thought,
why did i think this was faster?
i could have just gone out of the closet,
put the cleaners away,
and come back into the closet.
my efficient mind felt like it had to continue holding the cleaners AND take the belt off of the pants at the same time, using only one hand.
i just really wanted that belt now,
and i couldn't wait any longer and risk forgetting about the belt after putting the cleaners away.
i was really wanting that belt on!
yet when i put the cleaners away,
i still had to put the belt down to get them onto the top shelf in the bathroom anyway.
i really don't think i saved myself anytime.
and i really don't think it was any faster.
it was most likely a slower process.
but my mind was stuck in the fact that i was already there,
and i didn't want to come back.
i doubt it was effective multi-tasking.
but still, i was in it already.
and hot dog, i was for sure getting that belt on now!
i love these little parts of my personality that make decisions throughout the day.
i love how after 28 years,
i can finally appreciate the way i do it,
love others for the way they do it,
and love myself,
despite my imperfections.
because of the imperfections.
because they make me who i am.
they make me more dynamic.
and dang it,
they helped me finally get that belt on this morning.