and actually, it was raining

{go #11!}

on the way home from basketball this morning chase was crying.

like we were all covering our ears because nothing was going to calm him down.

and he was crying SOOO SOOOO SOOOO loud.

we still had to run by the pharmacy,

and my nerves were getting their fair share of frazzle.

brennan yelled at chase.

chase yelled that brennan "skEEEmed" at him and then screamed and cried even louder.

and max was yelling something over the top of both of them 

that i couldn't hear from the back bench of the van. 

so basically, things were going awesome. 

i was just wanting to be out of the car and home, and i was really wishing that i would have brought chase's binky in my bag to give to him.

finally there was a break in the screaming at the stop light in front of alta view hospital,

and i heard the brilliant idea of little miss max come 

like a little whisper of genius to my ears in the front: sing to chase.

the rest of the way home the kids and i sang christmas songs to chase.

after the second round of santa claus is coming to town, praise the heavens above, because chase wasn't crying anymore.

i put on my christmas mix over the car stereo, 

and from behind my seat i could hear the little 6 AND A HALF year old singing voice of brennan, singing every word to frosty the snowman, up on the rooftop, and rudolph the red nosed reindeer. 

it was so soft and innocent. so sweet so so so so so sweet.

and all of sudden i realized this was it!

the amazing christmas years.

of little kids, and babies, and believers filling my home.

and then in the background, i heard little max's voice filling in a line of two,

and in my rear view window i could see every one of my kids looking out of the window,

singing about santa claus and reindeer and dreaming of christmas morning and visions of candy canes in their brains.

and they didn't know i was looking at them.

and it was magic. 

i went a little under the speed limit the rest of the way home,

slowed down at the yellow lights so we had to wait at the red.

and soaked in this year of little singing voices to christmas songs.

i will never forget this day,

and the drive home that we all sang to chase to stop crying on the way home from basketball,

that day i didn't bring the binky.

and how magical it was.

even though there wasn't any snow.

{and actually, it was raining.}